"I Remember Halloween"
A Piece Of Daria Fanfic By
Brandon
League
(Brnleague@aol.com)
Legalities: Daria and her pals are
owned by MTV/Viacom and not me. There, you happy! Also, the songs "Return Of The
Fly," "Halloween," and "Halloween II" were written by The Misfits and I believe
are the property of Glenn Danzig. The title "I Remember Halloween" comes from
the song "Halloween." I'm not sure, but Glenn Danzig is too damn busy to care.
Assuming he DOES read Daria fanfic though, GLENN I'm not making a cent off of
this!
Summary: One unassuming day, Daria becomes obsessed with a classic
punk tune.
"So...creating another monster are we, Jane?"
Daria Morgendorffer smirked
down at her best friend Jane Lane, who was sitting Indian-style on the floor of
her room, deeply engrossed in her newest artistic venture. As far as Daria could
see, Jane was using liquid cement to attach a two-by-four to two cinderblocks.
Several multi-colored clothes hangers were scattered around the room. What Jane
was going to do with THOSE, Daria shuddered to think. Jane didn't look up;
rather, she appeared to be in a sort of daze. Daria sighed. She knew from past
experience that Jane only got this way when her creative juices were at their
most volatile. Daria also knew that getting her attention when she was like this
required the utmost subtlety and tact.
"Ow! Damn it, Daria!"
Jane
looked up at her best friend with a start, rubbing her ear where Daria had
pinched her. "Was that really necessary?"
Daria smirked. "You're just
lucky I left the hot irons at home today."
"Yeah, lucky me, and I have
the deformed ear to prove it."
Daria glanced down at the unusual
sculpture that was beginning to take shape on the floor. "Dare I ask what this
is going to be, or should I wait and find out from the nice people at the
sanitarium?"
"Scoff if you will, but I believe this will be my finest
work ever, and believe it or not it was actually inspired by the Fashion
Club."
Daria raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"I'm serious! Look, you
see how the wooden plank sitting on top of the cinderblocks looks like a bridge?
Well, as soon as I get the plank secured to the blocks, I'm gonna line the edges
of the plank with the different colored clothes hangers. I call it 'The Path To
Popularity'."
"I see," said Daria. "So, I should just have the
straitjacket delivered
here, then."
"You're a laugh riot, kid," Jane
said, returning to her sculpture.
"Do you mind if I turn on the tube?
It's time for Sick Sad World." Daria eyed the television with an almost lustful
(for her) expression.
Jane waved at the television with a noncommittal
grunt.
"Gee thanks." Daria rolled her eyes.
She sat down on the
bed and with a flick of the remote control the television sprang to life. Just
as the television came on, she heard the Sick Sad World announcer exclaim in his
usual excited tone, "After all these years are Satanic messages still hidden in
your favorite rock and roll albums? No! They've moved into your cereal bowl!
Satanic Sugar Pops! They're devilishly good! Next on Sick Sad
World!"
"Damn, a rerun," Daria muttered.
She lay back on the bed
and stared grumpily at the ceiling. She didn't want to go back home, Jake was
trying a new spaghetti recipe and she refused to endure the smell until she
absolutely had to. She-
At just that moment, loud music came from out of
nowhere, making Daria and Jane jump. However, Daria was used to loud music
springing up from out of nowhere in this house, so she didn't sit up. She lay
there and continued to stare at Jane's ceiling. Jane, though, was NOT in the
mood to be tolerant.
With a growl, Jane jumped up and ran across the
room. She beat on her wall with her closed fist and bellowed, "NOT AGAIN TRENT!
TURN THAT GODDAMNED CD PLAYER DOWN!"
Fuming, Jane did an about face,
turned, and stalked back to her seat on the floor. Just as she sat down, the
music significantly decreased in volume. It could still be heard, but it was no
longer at an eardrum crushing volume. With a scowl, Jane muttered, "I swear to
God, I'm gonna murder Max."
Daria's interest was piqued. She sat up and
looked inquiringly at Jane. "What's this about a murder? Jane, are you having
fun behind my back again?"
Jane looked up at Daria with an evil look in
her eye. "Max loaned Trent two of his CD's, 'The Misfits Collection I and II.'
For two days, all I have heard are The Misfits played at mind numbing volume.
Apparently, Mystik Spiral are in a rut and Max thought that loaning Trent two
CD's by his favorite band would be the inspirational thing to do." Jane paused
and grumbled; "I don't know HOW much of an inspiration it is to listen to
'Return Of The Fly' thirty-four times in a row."
Daria, meanwhile, was
listening to the music coming through the wall. She concentrated as she
listened, because she was sure that she had caught something interesting. The
tune itself was catchy, it was gloomy and moody, but at the same time, it had a
definite "garage punk" vibe to it. She listened thoughtfully and sure
enough-
"Latin! Jane, that song's in Latin!" Daria eyes widened. Imagine
a punk band that wrote a song in Latin! That was wild.
Jane looked up at
Daria, a cool smile on her face. "Yeah, Trent likes that one a lot too. What a
coincidence, huh?"
Daria shot Jane a dirty look. "Two years, Jane. Does
that mean anything to you?"
Jane chuckled.
"I'll be right back,"
Daria said, ignoring the chuckle. She had never wanted to talk to Trent so badly
in her life. She was completely enthralled by the thought of a punk song written
in Latin. She hurried out of Jane's room and walked down the hall to Trent's
room. She paused for only a second outside his door and then knocked. And
knocked. And knocked.
After the fifth knock, the door opened and there
stood Trent. He looked a little unfocused and more than a little disheveled. In
other words, he looked like he always did. He focused his eyes and stared at
Daria for a second before saying, "Hey Daria." Trent paused. "Is my music still
too loud?"
"No Trent, it's not that," Daria reassured him. "It's
just...that song, it's kind of catchy and I wanted to hear it better. Can I come
in?"
Trent turned for a moment and glanced at his CD player, as if
realizing for the first time that it was on. Then the full gist of her question
hit him, and he grinned at Daria. "Sure, come on in. It's a good
one."
Daria entered the room. It, too, looked unfocused and disheveled.
Jeans and shirts were thrown all over, the bed was unmade, and hundreds and
hundreds of CD's were all over the floor. The room suited Trent to a tee, she
realized, staring at the mallard duck phone by Trent's bed. She looked around
timidly for a place to sit.
She didn't have to wait long. Like the knight
in shining denim that he was, Trent swooped over and grabbed a pair of jeans and
a shirt that bore the tender sentiment, "I Fuck Sheep" and threw them both
across the room. He picked up an old Black Sabbath CD and threw it on his bed
and then presented Daria with a clean patch of carpet right next to the CD
player on which she could sit.
"My hero," she deadpanned.
He
grinned at her and rummaged around on the counter for a second, before finding
what he was looking for. He handed it to Daria. She looked at the object in her
hand, a cracked CD case. "You'll need the lyric booklet," Trent told her, "this
particular song is written in Non-Standard Latin."
Daria looked at him
strangely. Trent must have read something in her eyes because he blushed and
said, "Um, it says so in the lyrics book."
"Ah...I see. Trent, what's it
called?"
"Huh?"
"The song," she prodded gently.
"Oh," he
said, "its called 'Halloween II.'"
Daria looked curiously at him.
"'Halloween II?' You mean, like the horror movie?"
Trent looked back at
her, and there was a sage, almost wise look in his eye. Daria knew what that
meant. Trent was about to explain something that he himself had pondered
often.
"Well, Daria. The title is the same, but I don't think that the
song and the movie are related in any way. Even though The Misfits were in full
strength in the late 70's and early 80's, and 'Halloween II' the movie was
released in theatres in 1981." Trent paused a moment, and then he continued.
"Another curious fact, is that when The Misfits broke up in the early 80's,
singer Glenn Danzig formed another band out of its ashes, and he called it
Samhain. In the movie 'Halloween II,' there WAS that famous scene where the word
"Samhain" was written in blood on the chalkboard and Dr. Loomis explains about
the festival of Samhain, so they MAY be related..."
Trent glanced at
Daria and noticed that she was staring at him with her mouth open. He blushed
and murmured, "I don't think the song's about Michael Myers though. The lyrics
and the translation are both in there."
Daria recovered and pulled the
lyric booklet out of the CD case. She flipped it forward until she came to the
lyrics for the tenth song, 'Halloween II,' which, not surprisingly, were right
after the lyrics for the song 'Halloween.' She smirked and read the
lyrics.
"Formulae ueteres exorsismorum et
excommunicationum
Strigas
et fictos lupos credere
Daemon pellem lupinam
In trunco quodam
cauae
Arboris occultandum
Metamorphoses lycanthropie
Possunt
inquam
Metamorphoses lycanthropie
Possunt inquam
(The above is
non-standard Latin.
Translation:
Ancient formulas of exorcisms
and
excommunications
That witches and those made
wolves believe
I am
now the demon clothed
in wolfskin
Having to hide in the hollow of a
tree
I say werewolves can change shapes)
Daria was speechless. Her
very first thought was, Damn, Andrea would love this. It was dark, gloomy, and
Goth, but at the same time it was clever and hard edge. It was the very essence
of the holiday of Halloween, at its dark and evil core. It was poetic and
hauntingly beautiful. In one word, it was simply-
"Wow," Daria
whispered.
"Yeah," muttered Trent as he unpaused the CD and restarted the
song. "Check this out." He played the song all the way through for her and she
listened attentively. It was wonderful. It had a driving punk beat and at the
same time it had a dark Gothic pulse as Glenn Danzig chanted in Latin. Even when
he finished the chanting and sang the word "Halloween" over and over, Daria was
still enchanted by the whole gothic/punk experience.
When the song ended,
she wordlessly restarted it. Five times in a row Daria Morgendorffer lost
herself in that magnificent song, before she came to her senses and turned off
the CD player. She was fully aware of one thing and one thing only. The next
time she went to Cranberry Commons, she was going to buy 'The Misfits Collection
Volume II.'
Daria turned to face Trent. "Thanks Trent, I
appreciate-"
Trent, however was fast asleep, his head turned back and his
mouth wide open. Daria smirked and softly ruffled his hair. "Thanks Trent," she
whispered.
Wordlessly, she left Trent's room and returned to Jane's. As
she came into the room, her Partner-In-Crime glanced up at her and grinned
sadistically. "So? When's the wedding?"
Daria scowled. "It's right after
Quinn receives her Nobel Peace Prize for advances in the field of waterproof
eyeliner."
Jane snickered.
"Hey, Jane, I'm gonna bail. I'll see
you in the morning."
"So soon, amiga?"
"Um, yeah, I think I hear
Jake's spaghetti calling."
"Sure you do kid," Jane said,
unconvinced.
Daria walked out of Jane's room with a wave over her
shoulder and walked down the stairs towards the front door that would lead her
one step closer to home, where she had no doubt that she could con Helen into
letting her borrow the SUV for a little while. She felt a trip to the Mall was
in order.
"Oh yes," said Daria Morgendorffer quietly as her hand fell on
the doorknob. "I remember Halloween."
She gave a Mona Lisa smile.
End Notes: You like? I hope that you do. I had a LOT of fun writing this. Do you
believe that I got my inspiration sitting at a red light in 90-degree weather
listening to The Misfits? Well you heard it here first! While I have your
attention, I want to get some thanks off my chest. Thanks to Martin J. Pollard,
the Cheech to my Chong, to Thea Zara, my fluffy little sheep. Thea, believe me,
Trent's tee shirt reference is not about you! It deals with a tee shirt I saw at
OzzFest '99. I swear! It was too funny not to reference! Also thanks to Roger E.
Moore, Mman, Crusading Saint, Robert Nowall (Boxing Daria 2 is the greatest
thing I have EVER read), and that sweet cuddly Kemical Reaxion (My Love Slave).
KIDDING! Smooches, Kem!!! Feel free to review this, as usual, but I must INSIST!
No death threats or marriage proposals. I will accept neither!
ENJOY!