The Unofficial Daria FUQ

version 1.0

by Chris Smith

cws@wvinter.net

 

Daria and other characters are trademarks of MTV Networks.

 

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==Chapter 1 - Introduction

0 - Warnings and disclaimers.

1 - What the FUQ?!

2 - 'The hell are shippers?

3 - 'The hell are 'maters?

4 - 'The fuck do you get off saying this shit?!

5 - Can you please forgive me?

6 - C'mon, I said "please".

7 - ARE YOU NUTS?!

8 - Why do you hate hardcore Daria fans so much?

9 - Previous FUQ updates

==Chapter 2 - The Impact Players

1 - Daria Morgendorffer

1.1 - Who is Daria?

1.2 - Why hasn't Daria changed her clothes in four years?

1.3 - Is Daria always so bland when she talks?

1.4 - Does Daria wear underwear?

1.5 - Didn't I see this girl in amateur porn?

1.6 - What does Daria see in that Trent guy, anyway?

1.7 - Why doesn't Daria ever go anyplace else besides the Lane house and the Pizza King?

1.8 - Hey! Isn't Daria loaded?

1.9 - Does Daria REALLY need the glasses?

1.10 - Just what WAS that thing in "Daria's purse"?

2 - Jane Lane

2.1 - Who is Jane?

2.2 - Why is Jane so demented?

2.3 - Aside from typical expression, has Jane ever painted any pictures with naked chicks?

2.4 - Now I KNOW I've seen THIS girl in amateur porn!

2.5 - Jane looks pretty tough. Has she ever made any teeny-bopper classmates scream for their lives?

2.6 - Wasn't Jane on WCW Nitro?

3 - Trent Lane

3.1 - Who is Trent?

3.2 - Why does Trent sleep constantly, everyday?

3.3 - Why hasn't Trent learned to play an Open-D Tuning

3.4 - What is that crap coming out of Trent's mouth onstage?

3.5 - Is this a joke?

3.6 - No, seriously, who IS Trent?

==Chapter 3 - The Fashion Club

1 - Quinn Morgendorffer

1.1 - Who is Quinn?

1.2 - She's a slut, isn't she?

1.3 - Why does Quinn wear makeup all the time?

1.4 - Why is Quinn so desparate to be on top ... of EVERYTHING?

1.4.1 - Is Quinn really trying to steal Sandi's role in the Fashion Club?

1.4.2 - Why is Quinn obsessed with being popular?

1.5 - Even though Quinn wears the same outfit, she buys lots of clothes. What gives?

2 - Sandi Griffin

2.1 - Who is Sandi?

2.2 - Why is Sandi the President of the Fashion Club? She's so ..... ugly.

2.3 - What exactly is the Fashion Club oath?

2.4 - Ok, now gimme the real oath.

2.5 - What about this girl? Wasn't SHE in porn?

3 - Tiffany Blum-Deckler

3.1 - Who is Tiffany?

3.2 - Is it just me, or is Tiffany playing both sides between Quinn and Sandi?

3.3 - Asian girls are hot, she HAD to have been in porn!

3.4 - Why does Tiffany talk so slow?

3.5 - Does Tiffany wear underwear?

4 - Stacy Rowe

4.1 - Who is Stacy?

4.2 - Why is Stacy an instant conformist to the Fashion Club?

4.3 - Why does Stacy wear braided pigtails, isn't that unfashionable?

4.4 - Has the Fashion Club changed her life forever?

4.5 - Does Stacy wear underwear?

==Chapter 4 - The Big Fish (In a small pond)

1 - Kevin Thompson

1.1 - Who is Kevin?

1.2 - Was Kevin always the way he was?

1.3 - Why does Kevin wear the shoulder pads 24/7?

1.4 - How can Kevin be so smart and still be so dumb?

1.5 - Why is Kevin being treated like a god among the students?

2 - Brittany Taylor

2.1 - Who is Brittany?

2.2 - Was Brittany always the way she was?

2.3 - Why does Brittany wear the cheerleader outfit 24/7?

2.4 - How can Brittany be so smart and still be so dumb?

2.5 - Why is Brittany being treated like a goddess among the students?

3 - Michael James Mackenzie

3.1 - Who is Mike?

3.2 - Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Wasn't his name "Michael Jordan Mackenzie"?

3.3 - Why do everyone call him "Mack/Mack Daddy"

3.4 - Does Mike has any clue about how he'll get screwed in the end by the school?

3.4.1 - Quick Question: What's up with that?

3.5 - Where exactly does the logical football player come from?

4 - Jodie Landon

4.1 - Who is Jodie?

4.2 - Why are Jodie's parents forcing her to be successful?

4.3 - Why is Jodie trying to maintain her moniker "Queen of the Negroes?"

4.4 - Why has Jodie established herself as a tweener with Daria and Brittany?

4.5 - Give or take, Jodie's constant need to be on top with all the school government jobs, her constant

      demand to please her unforgiving parents, when is Jodie going to go on her long-awaited murderous

      rampage?

5 - Charles Ruttheimer III (Upchuck)

5.1 - Who is Charles?

5.2 - What exactly are the benefits of being Charles' friend?

5.3 - Other than the obvious, why do people hate Charles'?

5.4 - When and how did everyone decide to call everyone "Upchuck"?

5.5 - Is Charles Ruttheimer III anything like his father?

==Chapter 5 - The Faculty

1 - Angela Li

1.1 - Who is Ms. Li?

1.2 - Why is Ms. Li so desperate to establish a security system that would rival Fort Knox?

1.3 - Early opinions stated that Ms. Li was somehow connected with the Mob (Or at least the Yakuza),

            does this opinion hold any value today?

1.4 - Why does Ms. Li have this hint of hatred for Daria?

1.5 - What can be the most scariest thing to think about Ms. Li?

2 - Anthony Demartino

2.1 - Who is Mr. Demartino?

2.2 - Where did Mr. Demartino's trademark bulging eye come from?

2.3 - Why does Mr. Demartino emphasize on certain words when he doesn't really need to?

2.4 - Why does Mr. Demartino despise Kevin so much?

2.5 - Was Demartino really a Vietnam War veteran?

3 - Timothy O'Neill

3.1 - Who is Mr. O'Neill?

3.2 - Wow, this guy sounds like a real wuss.

3.3 - How does Mr. O'Neill manage to keep caring about teaching with positive spunk, after so many years

            of teaching to high-school students?

3.4 - In all of O'Neill's adult life, has he EVER gotten angry?

3.5 - How has O'Neill's life changed after his sudden involvement with Ms. Barch?

4 - Janet Barch

4.1 - Who is Ms. Barch?

4.2 - Considering the reaction Ms. Barch suffered when her husband left her, was she already unstable

            beforehand?

4.3 - Has anyone ever stood up to Ms. Barch's anti-male personality?

4.4 - What does Ms. Barch see in Mr. O'Neill?

4.5 - To physically convince Demartino to change his stance on the yearbook without outside help must

            have took a lot of muscle. How strong IS Ms. Barch?

4.6 - Can I shoot Ms. Barch?

==Chapter 6 - The Rest

1 - Jake Morgendorffer

1.1 - Who is Jake?

1.2 - Why is Jake so childish?

1.3 - Why is Jake so Violent?

1.4 - Why is Jake so oblivious?

1.5 - Why can't Jake just let go of his dad and move on with his life?

2 - Helen Morgendorffer

2.1 - Who is Helen?

2.2 - Why is Helen so tough to deal with?

2.3 - Why is Helen anxious to get Daria to do this, and to get her to do that every other week?

2.4 - Why is Helen a workaholic?

2.5 - How did Helen make the Baby Boomer transistion from hippie to Mrs Tough Lawyer?

3 - The Barksdale Family

3.1 - Rita Barksdale

3.1.1 - Who is Rita?

3.1.2 - Why are Rita and Helen at each other's throats and in each other's arms at the same time?

3.2 - Amy Barksdale

3.2.1 - Who is Amy?

3.2.2 - Are Amy and Daria exactly alike in about every way?

3.2.3 - What's Amy's favorite food?

3.2.4 - When did Amy become Daria's role-model?

3.2.5 - What does Amy DO, exactly?

4 - The Lane Family

4.1 - Vince Lane

4.1.1 - Who is Vince?

4.1.2 - Has Vince ever spent any of his time with the kids?

4.2 - Amanda Lane

4.2.1 - Who is Amanda?

4.2.2 - How did Amanda manage to raise all five kids without just taking off?

4.3 - Wind Lane

4.3.1 - Who is Wind?

4.3.2 - Has Wind ever considered suicide?

4.4 - Penny Lane

4.4.1 - Who is Penny?

4.4.2 - Why did Penny move to Central America in the first place?

4.5 - Summer Lane

4.5.1 - Who is Summer?

4.5.2 - Why can't Summer keep her kids from running away?

5 - Mystik Spiral

5.1 - What is Mystik Spiral?

5.2 - What music genre is Mystik Spiral?

5.3 - How many songs have they made?

5.4 - The Band Members

5.4.1 - Trent Lane

5.4.2 - Jesse Moreno

5.4.3 - Max

5.4.4 - Tyler

5.5 - We all know Mystik Spiral has completed a vinyl single with "Icebox Woman" and "Behind My

            Eyelids", but has it made any profit?

6 - Why aren't you covering the rest?

==Chapter 7 - The Andrea Anomaly

1 - Andrea who?

1.1 - Who is Andrea?

1.2 - Why haven't we seen Andrea in any episodes?

1.3 - What does Andrea look like?

1.4 - Is Andrea a cast member's friend or something?

1.5 - Has Andrea had any speaking roles?

2 - A cult of Anti-Personality

2.1 - Why does everyone like Andrea?

2.2 - What's with Andrea's outfit?

2.3 - What's with the whole Goth shit?

2.4 - Does Andrea worship Satan?

3 - Andrea's life (Or lack of)

3.1 - Where does Andrea live?

3.2 - Describe an ordinary day in Andrea's life (Excluding school).

3.3 - Does Andrea have ..... somebody?

4 - Andrea's On-Camera Appearances

4.1 - Season One

4.2 - Season Two

4.3 - Season Three

4.4 - Season Four

5 - Andrea's History

5.1 - When did Andrea start getting into the whole "Gothic" atmosphere?

5.2 - Was Andrea considered "nerdy" in school?

6 - Andrea's Future

6.1 - Will Andrea ever get her time in the spotlight?

6.2 - Will we see Andrea without her makeup and Goth Garb?

6.3 - Will Andrea get her own show?

==Chapter 8 - Who are these guys, really?

1 - Huh?

2 - What are these people REALLY like?

2.1 - Daria Morgan

2.2 - Amy Morgan

2.3 - Jake Morgan

2.4 - Trent Lane

2.5 - Jane Lane

2.6 - Quinn Griffin

2.7 - Sandi Griffin

2.8 - Helen Griffin

2.9 - Linda Griffin

2.10 - Kevin Thompson

2.11 - Brittany Spears

2.12 - Mike Mackenzie

2.13 - Jodie Houston

2.14 - Anthony Demartino

2.15 - Janet Demartino

2.16 - Angela Li

2.17 - Tiffany Li

2.18 - Timmy Wesker

2.19 - Charles Wesker

2.20 - Andrea Wesker

2.21 - Jamie Black

2.22 - Claire Black

2.23 - Joey Harris

2.24 - Jeffy Harris

2.25 - Stacy Rowe

2.26 - Diane Benett

3 - How is it possible to come up with this stuff?

==Chapter 9 - Unbelievable

1 - Overheard during episode shootings

1.1 - Actual comments

1.2 - Rumors

2 - Alternate ideas for the Pilot that were never used

2.1 - Daria: Teen Radio DJ

2.2 - The U.S.S. Starship Lawndale

2.3 - Daria: Punk Rocker

==Chapter 10 - Acknowledgements

1 - URLs

2 - Unofficial Daria chatrooms

3 - Credits

4 - One final note

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--- 0 - Warnings and Disclaimers

 

The author expresses opinion and his right to piss on animated characters whenever he pleases. The

author hopes that you, the reader will take all in jest and not with serious offense. Otherwise, stop

now, and forget you were here.

 

--- 1 - What the FUQ?!

 

FUQ is a takeoff on the ever popular FAQ files that pollute the Internet. FAQ simply stands for

"Frequently Asked Question". But as of late it has come to indicate a text file full of information

about a certain subject. And you can get one for just about anything at all: Television shows, music

groups, sex, drugs, masturbation, suicide, you name it! But if we're going to get really technical, this

really isn't a FAQ, because not many people ask the questions addressed in this text file at all, let

alone ask them frequently. Hence the name FUQ (pronounced like "fuck", which is completely coincidental

of course) which stands for "Frequently Unasked Questions". If you're in public, you could always

pronounce is as "Fook" or "Fewk", or even "Fooo" (The Q is silent).

 

--- 2 - 'The hell are shippers?

 

Shippers are these pathetic fanfic writers that die a little each day and that nothing will cure them

until they see Daria and Trent get together, no matter what, and they will have wild monkey sex all over

town, and have five kids, and watch them grow up to be just like them. Is it just me or is this sound

like a rewrite of an episode of "Blossum"?

 

--- 3 - 'The hell are 'maters?

 

Maters are a different definition of Shippers. Although from field experience, it appears that maters

are also used as some sort of long-distance blunt object to throw at people. Other people use the term

as some sort of symbiote that people latch onto to change the way they are. In short, a Mater is like

the objective of Calvinball: It's whatever you want it to be.

 

--- 4 - 'The fuck do you get off saying this shit?!

 

Because I still believe in the fact that cartoons (No matter how they look) are to be either comedies or

action-packed. Daria is a comedy show, not a forum for Lilith Fair. The kids do NOT need to be tackling

some major issue every goddamn show. I can understand the reality-based aspect, but please, this is not

some cheap after-school special.

 

--- 5 - Can you please forgive me?

 

No. You've insulted my honor, I challenge you to a duel. The game is Australian Cockroach Dick-Wrestling

(Best of Seven rules). They have that on ESPN2, you know.......

 

--- 6 - C'mon, I said "please".

 

Forget it, you had your chance, and you blew it like Quinn blew her cousin as a bribe to keep him from

squealing about her cocaine habit (Who says people never engage in incest in cartoons?).

 

--- 7 - ARE YOU NUTS?!

 

Yes, but insanity helps when you're doing this shit.

 

--- 8 - Why do you hate hardcore Daria fans so much?

 

Because they all have their own visions of what Daria SHOULD be like (Even though they all want to see

Daria as a romance novel), and they bash the writers for doing off-the-wall episodes and episodes that

have no serious issue to tackle, literally spitting in Glenn Echler's face, because he's the one that

okays episodes for production. Therefore, hardcore fans suck. Am I a hardcore fan? Yeah, but I defected

long ago, so there.

 

--- 9 - Previous FUQ updates

 

8-??-2000:

            Daria FUQ v1.0 released to the public.

8-02-2000:

            Failed to finish v1.0 before #413: "Dye! Dye! My Darling!" aired. Decided to release to the public

            shortly after the made-for-TV movie "Is it Fall Yet?" airs on Sunday, August 20.

6-10-2000:

            Decided that v1.0 should be released after Season 4 ends (Basically to finish adding Andrea's

            appearances.)

4-20-2000:

            Laid all the original groundwork questions.

3-30-2000:

            Began production.

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Chapter 2 - The Impact Players

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--- 1 - Daria Morgendorffer

--- 1.1 - Who is Daria?

 

Daria is a 17-year-old girl (For once, a toon has aged) that everyone rejects because she doesn't have

the face of a model, tits the size of basketballs, thighs that could crush a watermellon, and an ass

that could spread across Texas. And yet, the most popular people seem to center themselves around her

for her seemingly infinite wisdom, her divine guidance, or for their personal souless amusement. Dicks.

 

--- 1.2 - Why hasn't Daria changed her clothes in four years?

 

"Pull your chair away from the screen, and you won't smell anything."

            - Daria in MTV.com's "Ask the Cast"

 

--- 1.3 - Is Daria always so bland when she talks?

 

Yes. Apparently, she accidentally swallowed a bug while on a roller coaster, and it didn't agree with

her throat. Daria learned the hard way that if she put any emotion into her voice, it would cause her to

pass out.

 

--- 1.4 - Does Daria wear underwear?

 

With this being MTV, I have to be honest here. Since Daria and the cameramen have done their best to

hide any hint of anything underneath Daria's trademarked black-pleated skirt, there's no way of telling

off-hand. But I learned differently after a brief encounter (While wearing a ski mask). I

"accidentally" tripped and fell, landing my head face-up, between Daria's legs. It was too dark to see,

but I saw buttocks. So either she goes commando (No undies), or she's wearing a thong. I'm bringing a

camera with a flash next time.   >:)

 

--- 1.5 - Didn't I see this girl in amateur porn?

 

Yes, you may have seen her in the film "Toons Gettin' it On", with Jessica Rabbit, Pocahontas, and the

Highland trio of Lolita/Tanqueray/Gina (Her show wasn't going too well in the ratings at the time and

she needed the money). Of course this is bullshit. You really thought Daria was in porn?! You stupid-ass

horndog, don't ever leave the house, ever! You'll thank me later.

 

But to be honest, I'm bullshitting you again. Daria HAS appeared in porn with some of her fellow cast

members. The following page contains porn involving the Daria Cast. You must be 18+ or older to see. I

take absolutely no responsibility for people that may be offended by such material (Just delete the URL

and forget you ever saw it, that's all).

 

(To be honest, some of these pictures ARE rather gross. Why do I point people to them, you might ask?

Same as the purpose of the FUQ, because no one asks.)

 

Http://www.wvinter.net/~cws/BWCS/dariaporn/dariaporn.html

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I know that Daria Porn is somewhat demeaning, but hey, so is showbusiness.

 

--- 1.6 - What does Daria see in that Trent guy, anyway?

 

Daria sees immense potential in Trent's musical skills, and believes that he will go nowhere by playing

punk rock. Daria is already scouting for deathmetal bands with lead-guitar players that just seem "Out-

of-place". So far, Daria has only come up with one band for Trent: Green Vomit. Green Vomit is a

deathmetal band with all green instruments, all made to look like they were dunked in vomit. Their hit

song among the region is "UberRetch"

 

--- 1.7 - Why doesn't Daria ever go anyplace else besides the Lane house and the Pizza King?

 

Because she's lazy, duh.

 

--- 1.8 - Hey! Isn't Daria loaded?

 

Why, yes. She gets $25 each from her parents each week, and if you have the Daria Database book, you'll

notice Daria's pillow is stuffed with cash. Sooner or later, she should have enough to buy that stealth

bomber she claims she's wanting.

 

--- 1.9 - Does Daria REALLY need the glasses?

 

Not really. If you notice in "Beyond a Lens Darkly" when you can see the blurred vision from Daria's

perspective, she can still see just fine. Again, she's lazy.

 

--- 1.10 - Just what WAS that thing in "Daria's purse"?

 

Allow me to explain. In The Beavis & Butt-Head Ensucklopedia, they made several things with modelling

clay, and they sculpted something that they claimed they found it in Daria's purse. But when exactly was

the last time we saw Daria with a purse? Anyway, the object looked like a can of mace (Come to think of

it, when was the last time we ever saw Daria use a can of mace?). I'm guessing that Daria was watching

some other girl's purse, and the two retards swiped it.

 

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--- 2 - Jane Lane

--- 2.1 - Who is Jane?

 

Jane is practically a loner in Lawndale, but through a sheer twist of fate (Writers have a funny way of

having things work out), Jane found a friend in Daria.

 

--- 2.2 - Why is Jane so demented?

 

Apparently, Jane was an untreated patient in the Lawndale Hospital Mental Ward. She escaped, and was

living under the name "Mrs Gillian Klotz", until the heat died down and people stopped caring. Why Jane

was in the Ward is anybody's guess, probably because she joked about wanting to eat Daria out, and

people mistook her as a cannibal.

 

(Ed. Note: Gillian Klotz was the married name of Gillian Anderson of X-Files fame. Her husband was Clyde

Klotz. This is no bullshit, folx. Not even I could make that shit up.)

 

--- 2.3 - Aside from typical expression, has Jane ever painted any pictures with naked chicks?

 

Yes, and she made a killing by selling five to Upchuck at $500 a pop. No one knows why he was so eager

to buy them, but witnesses later saw the entire football team walk with Chuck into his house later that

evening. Jane spent her money on a new TV for the living room. 59" projection TV with surround sound

speakers, picture-in-picture, and a DVD player to match. She only had it for two days. Apparently, Jane

& Daria was watching "The Blair Witch Project" on DVD while Trent was practicing in the basement and

ended up playing a riff that caused the house to blow a fuse. It somehow fried both the TV and the

player. Jane was pissed about the fuse, and Daria was pissed about the surprise abrupt ending of the

flick. "Wow, this DVD director's cut really sucks."

 

--- 2.4 - Now I KNOW I've seen THIS girl in amateur porn!

 

Are you really that stupid? You must be one of those redneck inbred Jabba-the-Hutt motherfuckers that

think that porn is why the internet was invented in the first place. And by the way, why amateur porn?

Why not professional porn, where the girls scream more realisticly and have bigger tits?

 

--- 2.5 - Jane looks pretty tough. Has she ever made any teeny-bopper classmates scream for their lives?

 

Jane has considered beating Brittany prison-bitch-style, but reconsidered due to the fact that she's not

the violent type. However, she sometimes trips the cheerleaders with her leg just to watch and hear the

rubbery-effect when their silicone tits hit the solid floor. No one knows why, but she seems to enjoy

it.

 

--- 2.6 - Wasn't Jane on WCW Nitro?

 

No, you're confusing her for Daffeny, former manager of David Flair. Jane may be crazy, but she's not

THAT crazy (You've gotta be a loon to be in WCW). However, Daffeny DOES make a good substitute.

 

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--- 3 - Trent Lane

--- 3.1 - Who is Trent?

 

Trent is Jane's older brother, and is almost like a close friend. Trent is also the lead guitar/vocals

for Mystik Spiral, some crap band that literally makes all musicians look bad.

 

--- 3.2 - Why does Trent sleep constantly, everyday?

 

Trent volunteered for a lab experiment at the State University several years ago. They decided to look

into a new knockout drug to be used by police officers to quell rowdy prisoners. It worked better than

anyone hoped for, but it didn't adjust well with Trent's metabolism, and now Trent gets tired quickly.

Trent was to be paid $2,000 for the guinea pig job, but he only got $300 from the University as

compensation (Bribe). Apparently, the experiment was not funded by the University and vanished shortly

after the experiment. Trent spent the money on a new amplifier. It blew out later that day. (SEE JANE 2.3)

 

--- 3.3 - Why hasn't Trent learned to play an Open-D Tuning?

 

Trent never really bothered to actually learn how to play a guitar, so he was self-taught (A fine job

that did, eh?).

 

--- 3.4 - What is that crap coming out of Trent's mouth onstage?

 

That's called music (At least that's what Trent calls it).

 

--- 3.5 - Is this a joke?

 

If you consider Trent's lack of talent to be a joke, then yes. And to be honest, he DOES make musicians

look bad (C'mon, sing an entire song for once). Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot, it's only a 30-minute

show. But those are the breaks. If you have someone in a band portraying music, he/she'd better be

prepared to go the whole nine yards (i.e. singing a song with a full four verses, minimum). Otherwise,

the poor sap will look like a fool.

 

--- 3.6 - No, seriously, who IS Trent?

 

A phony.

 

========================================================================================================

Chapter 3 - The Fashion Club

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--- 1 - Quinn Morgendorffer

--- 1.1 - Who is Quinn?

 

Quinn is Daria's younger, cuter, fashionable, wishes-she-had-no-sister, sister. Quinn is the epitomy of

the need to be popular (Even when it's not needed). Quinn has had men make passes at her day-in to day-

out, had men buy her dinner, cute gifts, and they got nothing in return (Not even a kiss goodnight).

 

--- 1.2 - She's a slut, isn't she?

 

Actually no. Quinn hasn't even been propositioned for sex as of yet, her dates get too nervous when she

just opens her mouth to speak.

 

--- 1.3 - Why does Quinn wear makeup all the time?

 

To attract more and more attention (And dates).

 

--- 1.4 - Why is Quinn so desparate to be on top ... of EVERYTHING?

 

See Below.

 

--- 1.4.1 - Is Quinn really trying to steal Sandi's role in the Fashion Club?

 

Yes, she wants all the attention, all of the breaks, and no critizism whatsoever. She wants to literally

be a fashion dictator.

 

--- 1.4.2 - Why is Quinn obsessed with being popular?

 

See above.

 

--- 1.5 - Even though Quinn wears the same outfit, she buys lots of clothes. What gives?

 

She's practicing to be a billionaire's wife by purposely wasting her family's money. As soon as she's

able to legally travel by herself, she's going to run off find and marry an elderly oil tycoon just to

inherit his/her (She'll go THAT far) billions of dollars.

 

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--- 2 - Sandi Griffin

--- 2.1 - Who is Sandi?

 

Sandi is the President of the most popular club in Lawndale High School (Toppling even the Cheerleader

Squad), the Fashion Club.

 

--- 2.2 - Why is Sandi the President of the Fashion Club? She's so ..... ugly.

 

She sounds ugly too (But don't tell her I said that). But to be honest, there was that little rule where

the founding member gets to lead, and Sandi's been President since her Freshman year. Plus she's got

that scary tone in her voice that keeps everyone in line.

 

--- 2.3 - What exactly is the Fashion Club oath?

 

"Help all people in need of an appealing appearance"

 

--- 2.4 - Ok, now gimme the real oath.

 

"Do whatever it takes to get all the attention"

 

--- 2.5 - What about this girl? Wasn't SHE in porn?

 

You'd think that, wouldn't you?

 

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--- 3 - Tiffany Blum-Deckler

--- 3.1 - Who is Tiffany?

 

Tiffany is the treasurer of the Fashion Club. She is also identified as "That hot asian chick".

 

--- 3.2 - Is it just me, or is Tiffany playing both sides between Quinn and Sandi?

 

Tiffany also wants control of the Fashion Club for the attention it brings. Unfortunately, she doesn't

realize that even if the two destroy each other, the club's popularity will die with Quinn.

 

--- 3.3 - Asian girls are hot, she HAD to have been in porn!

 

Yeah, she was. But I lost the URL to the site (Snicker). I'm lying, of course, you fucking piece of

shit.

 

--- 3.4 - Why does Tiffany talk so slow?

 

Martians came and zapped her with a slow-motion ray. It seems to have only affected her speaking.

Apparently, it all occured sometime between episodes #104 (Cafe Disaffecto) and #109 (Too Cute). It was

a slow and gradual process, and now, it takes her a week to get out a sentence. The Martians plan on

extracting the larynx from their "Guinea Pig" sometime in Season 6 to observe the results.

 

--- 3.5 - Does Tiffany wear underwear?

 

Nope, and she's made that QUITE clear on NUMEROUS occasions. In fact, a friend of mine was fortunate

enough to take pictures. The pictures were later put in an article of Penthouse magazine, and the

photographer disappeared without a trace.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 4 - Stacy Rowe

--- 4.1 - Who is Stacy?

 

Stacy is the timid one in the Fashion Club. A bootlicker, spineless, and totally gutless. The perfect

fashion drone.

 

--- 4.2 - Why is Stacy an instant conformist to the Fashion Club?

 

Because she is intimidated by Sandi and Tiffany's stroke around the school, and felt that, as the old

saying goes "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em". Of course, this is just her cover. Stacy is Jane's mole

to secretly bring down the Fashion Club from the inside, and to create "The Sick Sad Fashion World

Club".

 

--- 4.3 - Why does Stacy wear braided pigtails, isn't that unfashionable?

 

Yes, and that's why she's being kept down to the bottom of the pecking order.

 

--- 4.4 - Has the Fashion Club changed her life forever?

 

Yes, her entire life now revolves around the Fashion Club, their needs, their wants, and their

preferences. Stacy never even watches TV or listens to any music unless the Fashion Club likes it, too.

Stacy's parents are worried sick about her mental well-being, and fear that this lifestyle may as well

destroy her.

 

--- 4.5 - Does Stacy wear underwear?

 

She used to, but being the copycat she is, she's following Tiffany's example by not wearing underwear.

Recently, she, along with the rest of the club, changed her outfit. Now she wears spandex shorts, but is

Stacy still going commando? The answer is: Yes. She's grown to like "Being free".

 

========================================================================================================

Chapter 4 - The Big Fish (In a small pond)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 1 - Kevin Thompson

--- 1.1 - Who is Kevin?

 

Kevin is a High School Quarterback and an all-around bonehead that is always getting some from his big-

titted cheerleader girlfriend.

 

--- 1.2 - Was Kevin always the way he was?

 

You'd think right away that his "Damaged" personality was caused by his aggressive football style, but

that's not the case. Believe it or not, Kevin is adopted, and was originally raised in an orphanage

where he was constantly dropped on his head by the nuns as punishment for not kissing up. The orphanage

was once reviewed by 60 Minutes.

 

--- 1.3 - Why does Kevin wear the shoulder pads 24/7?

 

He thinks that football games are subject to take place anytime, and keeping the pads on 24/7 are his

way of "being prepared".

 

--- 1.4 - How can Kevin be so smart and still be so dumb?

 

After taking Kevin in for psychatric evaluation, the doctor noticed a very noticable scar on the back of

Kevin's neck. Now, I'm not the kind of person to make bizarre theories .......... YES I AM!!! Kevin was

a straight-A student until 1993 when he was abducted by aliens. They surgically removed a lot of his

brain tissue for their numerous studies (i.e.: Their constant need to conduct anal probes), and

programmed a few thoughts about football to cover everything up. Now all Kevin thinks is football.

 

--- 1.5 - Why is Kevin being treated like a god among the students?

 

Because his followers all believe he can hook them up with the other cheerleaders if they kiss up to him

enough.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 2 - Brittany Taylor

--- 2.1 - Who is Brittany?

 

Brittany is a High School Cheerleader and an all-around airhead that is always getting some from her

bonehead football quarterback boyfriend. Both believe that Football players can only date cheerleaders

and vice-versa. Brittany is also identified as "The big-boobed blonde with the giant pigtails".

 

--- 2.2 - Was Brittany always the way she was?

 

Actually no. Brittany used to be the captain of the Lawndale Junior High Basketball Team, and a

straight-A student, until she started dating Kevin (Who was abducted by aliens, as I stated above).

Kevin's "Overwhelming personality" somehow gradually began to lower Brittany's I.Q..

 

--- 2.3 - Why does Brittany wear the cheerleader outfit 24/7?

 

Ms. Li demands whatever is necessary to boost the demand to come to Lawndale High sporting events, so

Brittany is actually REQUIRED to wear a custom-made cheerleading outfit with a special phermone-

detecting sensor. The second the air around it becomes clean, it goes off, and Brittany's better grades

will become "Misplaced", causing her GPA to drop.

 

--- 2.4 - How can Brittany be so smart and still be so dumb?

 

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................

 

--- 2.5 - Why is Brittany being treated like a goddess among the students?

 

Actually, the girls don't seem to like her as much as the guys like Kevin. However, the guys tend to

hang around in the hopes that Brittany will someday drop Kevin like yesterday's trash and start dating

them.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3 - Michael James Mackenzie

--- 3.1 - Who is Mike?

 

Even though Mike is the Captain of the Lawndale Lions football team, he still ends up playing second

fiddle to Kevin. Mike is pretty much one of the unsung heroes of the Lions. Mike is also Identified as

"That black guy".

 

--- 3.2 - Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Isn't his name "Michael Jordan Mackenzie"?

 

It was changed TO Michael Jordan Mackenzie. Apparently, his jackass of a dad changed Mackenzie's middle

name so that he can retain some kind of glory unto himself for having a son with the same name of a

major basketball player.

 

--- 3.3 - Why does everyone call him "Mack/Mack Daddy"

 

Because people seem to think that just because he's black, he enjoys being called "Mack Daddy". This is

a rather lethal synopsis. Some blacks HATE being called "Mack Daddy", and some will respond in kind.

It's just a wonder that Kevin hasn't gotten the crap beaten out of him because of it (QB or not).

 

--- 3.4 - Does Mike has any clue about how he'll get screwed in the end by the school?

 

Not really.

 

--- 3.4.1 - Quick Question: What's up with that (And why are you mentioning this)?

 

The fans have a right to know. Only the QB gets to blunder his way through life by playing football, and

not having to do any studying. Mackenzie has no clue he will get the brush-off by the school when they

erase his grades. Apparently, in this world, the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many. The

plan is to make Mackenzie go insane and start a rampage, where Ms. Li can just blame it all on video

games and music. It cost three human lives to bring you all this information.

 

--- 3.5 - Where exactly does the logical football player come from?

 

Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh. You caid "Come". Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 4 - Jodie Landon

--- 4.1 - Who is Jodie?

 

Jodie is the politician of the students, therefore her job is to suck the dicks of the people in charge

just to keep the image of school spirit alive. Jodie is also identified as "That black chick"

 

--- 4.2 - Why are Jodie's parents forcing her to be successful?

 

For their own personal gain. When Jodie possibly gets some huge title like "U.S. Ambassador to New

Guinea" (A country that no one gives a shit about), her parents can go and brag to their snobbish

friends that they're her parents.

 

--- 4.3 - Why is Jodie trying to maintain her moniker "Queen of the Negroes?"

 

See above. The only difference is that Andrerw & Michelle want their own Adolf Hitler to make blacks

into "The Master Race". *

 

--- 4.4 - Why has Jodie established herself as a tweener with Daria and Brittany?

 

Because Jodie is learning from both intellectuals and morally bankrupt, with a plan to teach grade

school kids to be both smart and morally bankrupt (Basically to teach how to set up a porn website with

all of those popup windows that never go away even after you go away). Rumor has it that Jodie is dating

Graham.

 

--- 4.5 - Give or take, Jodie's constant need to be on top with all the school government jobs, her

                constant demand to please her unforgiving parents, when is Jodie going to go on her long-

                awaited murderous rampage?

 

Next Tuesday.

 

*: No, I am not a racist. I just feel that blacks are portrayed in a brighter light than they really

are (For god's sakes, people, tell the fucking truth).

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 5 - Charles Ruttheimer III (Upchuck)

--- 5.1 - Who is Charles?

 

Charles is something of a paradox. He's bright and intelligent, but he is morally bankrupt: Constantly

drilling a hole into the girl's locker room, and propositioning Daria and Jane every chance he gets. But

there's a possibility that he just hasn't .... you know ..... kissed a girl, yet, when most people

nowdays have actually done it by their Sophomore year. Horny or desperate, he's hated by a lot of the

female gender in Lawndale High.

 

--- 5.2 - What exactly are the benefits of being Charles' friend?

 

Access to every issue of "Jugs Illustrated", all the hours of Monty Python you can imagine, and more

porn than the entire football, basketball, and wrestling teams combined.

 

--- 5.3 - Other than the obvious, why do people hate Charles'?

 

Red poodle-puff hair, nasty temper, sniveling accent, and a suspiscious odor. Enough said.

 

--- 5.4 - When and how did everyone decide to call everyone "Upchuck"?

 

In 1997, Charles figured that he'd win the admiration of every girl in school by streaking across the

gym during an assembly. Of course, it backfired, and the recent contents in everyone's stomachs (Taken

in after the recent lunch period) suddenly came out all at once. No girl ever forgot him since,

unfortunately, it didn't go as planned.

 

--- 5.5 - Is Charles Ruttheimer III anything like his father?

 

(I'll have to get back to you on that)

 

========================================================================================================

Chapter 5 - The Faculty

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 1 - Angela Li

--- 1.1 - Who is Ms. Li?

 

Angela Li is a woman of great speculation and controversey that reaches all the way to the Board of

Education itself. Ms. Li is the principal of Lawndale High School. Rumors are rampant every day about Ms

Li embezzling school funds to buy unnecessary security equipment that would make life for students more

and more aggrivating. Because of this, more and more people are transferring to schools more "simple".

 

--- 1.2 - Why is Ms. Li so desperate to establish a security system that would rival Fort Knox?

 

Like most schools today, Ms. Li wants to make her school as strict as possible to avoid school violence.

Unfortunately, people fear that she is too strict, and she has taken steps to keep them quiet. Now Ms.

Li feels that the parents must not ever know about her methods of keeping the school safe, for the fear

that she may be "put out of the temple", so to speak.

 

--- 1.3 - Early opinions stated that Ms. Li was somehow connected with the Mob (Or at least the Yakuza),

                does this opinion hold any value today?

 

Slightly, but yes. Some people feel that Li is building so many walls around the school so no one from

the outside would know what she's doing to her students inside. Some think she's pimping the

cheerleaders and the "popular girls" to various criminal syndicates, and having them make cover stories

about how painful it is to just be attractive and popular. Others believe that Li is using some kind of

machine to erase all of the willpower and spirit from an otherwise imaginative teenager, creating

another mindless and morally bankrupt degenerate. The rest think that Li sits on a black pentagram with

candles every night and chants satanic verses, praising the fallen god.

 

--- 1.4 - Why does Ms. Li have this hint of hatred for Daria?

 

Ms. Li fears that Daria may possess enough of a conscience to destroy her.

 

--- 1.5 - What can be the most scariest thing to think about Ms. Li?

 

"Angela Li defeats Helen Morgendorffer in the 2000 Presidential Election by a landslide" (Sorry

Michelle. :-) )

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 2 - Anthony Demartino

--- 2.1 - Who is Mr. Demartino?

 

Anthony Demartino is the most feared history teacher in the state (Wherever that may be). Obviously,

he's pissed at the world for getting stupider and stupider with each new class that comes in every year.

Mr. Demartino is literally a ticking time-bomb.

 

--- 2.2 - Where did Mr. Demartino's trademark bulging eye come from?

 

Surprisingly, in 1992, Anthony screamed so loud at a student for being so far-off from the proper answer

in class that he literally went insane and started beating his bloodied head against the wall until he

was unconcsious. He went on for thirty whole minutes doing so, and no one tried to help him, despite the

fact that everyone heard him from the neighboring classrooms. Anthony suffered a few concussions, and now

cannot go past a single sentence without his right eye bulging out of proportion, and emphasizing on

needless words.

 

--- 2.3 - Why does Mr. Demartino emphasize on certain words when he doesn't really need to?

 

See above

 

--- 2.4 - Why does Mr. Demartino despise Kevin so much?

 

Kevin is dumber than a doorknob, and he's still treated like a king. You have to ask?

 

--- 2.5 - Was Demartino really a Vietnam War veteran?

 

Actually, no. Anthony was stationed in Cleveland, but he never gave up hope that he would be given the

honor of serving his country (Despite what those filthy retarded hippies said). Sadly, Anthony was

discharged a year after the war was over, not able to see any action whatsoever. The whole injustice

left him bitter and jaded, and he's been that way ever since.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 3 - Timothy O'Neill

--- 3.1 - Who is Mr. O'Neill?

 

Timothy O'Neill is somewhat of a modern-day hippie. He believes in love, caring, and respect for all,

despite the fact that everyone thinks he's a wuss.

 

--- 3.2 - Wow, this guy sounds like a real wuss.

 

That's right, let it out. O'Neill is a wuss. Actually, Timmy just needs to spend a night in a bar and

get toasted. Nicely toasted. Then the boy'll be just fine.

 

--- 3.3 - How does Mr. O'Neill manage to keep caring about teaching with positive spunk, after so many

          years of teaching to high-school students?

 

(I'll get back to you on that)

 

--- 3.4 - In all of O'Neill's adult life, has he EVER gotten angry?

 

Once. Back in 1995, O'Neill was suspended from teaching for punching Tommy Sherman in the face when he

made a crack about O'Neill's sexuality. Then O'Neill slammed Sherman into the wall and started hitting

him again, until Ms. Li came in to announce a school function. Li did not want her star quarterback

getting hurt before the big game later that evening, so O'Neill was suspended for three months. O'Neill

has never raised his fist (And hardly his voice) at anyone again.

 

--- 3.5 - How has O'Neill's life changed after his sudden involvement with Ms. Barch?

 

(I'll get back to you on that)

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 4 - Janet Barch

--- 4.1 - Who is Ms. Barch?

 

Janet Barch is a jaded woman that was dumped by her husband for a younger woman. People have speculated

that due to Janet's hatred of men that she was a lesbian. In a way, she is. The second she decided on

focusing herself on Tim O'Neill she stated that Tim was once a woman in a previous life.

 

--- 4.2 - Considering the reaction Ms. Barch suffered when her husband left her, was she already

                unstable beforehand?

 

Actually, that's one of the reasons Mr. Barch "disappeared". He was scared shitless of her strange

dialect she uttered in her sleep, her constant urges to bring a cannon to the bowling alley, and the

crazy things she made out of clay.

 

--- 4.3 - Has anyone ever stood up to Ms. Barch's anti-male personality?

 

Many have done so, and no one has ever heard from them again.

 

--- 4.4 - What does Ms. Barch see in Mr. O'Neill?

 

She doesn't. She's luring O'Neill into a false sense of security so that she can dump him the same way

her husband left her to teach man a lesson (What that would be is anybody's guess.). O'Neill will then

turn bitter and angry, and then finding some nice woman to mess with, thus repeating the cycle. This is

all part of Janet's nefarious plan to create an entire race of anti-gender human demons, thereby causing

the human race to stop reproducing, killing mankind and womankind alike.

 

--- 4.5 - To physically convince Demartino to change his stance on the yearbook without outside help

                must have took a lot of muscle. How strong IS Ms. Barch?

 

Strong enough to crush you like a bug.

 

--- 4.6 - Can I shoot Ms. Barch?

 

You can try, and you will fail. Janet's been known to catch bullets with her teeth and chew them into a

gooey lead paste.

 

========================================================================================================

Chapter 6 - The Rest

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 1 - Jake Morgendorffer

--- 1.1 - Who is Jake?

 

Jake Morgendorffer was a neglected youth that was shipped off to military school as a 8-year-old kid

simply because he didn't live up to his father's standards. He was abused, tortured, teased, and bullied

by the other cadets, all the way into what would have been his High School Junior year. The whole ordeal

left Jake mentally incomplete (As that's what military school is supposed to accomplish).

 

--- 1.2 - Why is Jake so childish?

 

See above.

 

--- 1.3 - Why is Jake so Violent?

 

See "Who is Jake?"

 

--- 1.4 - Why is Jake so oblivious?

 

He's not. Jake is only pretending to be oblivious due to the fact that every time Jake tries to help,

his ideas are shot down by Helen. Jake is wise not to dwell on this form of neglect as he did with his

Dad, so he just pretends not to notice anymore.

 

--- 1.5 - Why can't Jake just let go of his dad and move on with his life?

 

See "Who is Jake?"

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 2 - Helen Morgendorffer

--- 2.1 - Who is Helen?

 

Helen Morgendorffer is an overly-aggressive lawyer that literally dove into her work the second she

became a lawyer.

 

--- 2.2 - Why is Helen so tough to deal with?

 

(I'll get back to you on that)

 

--- 2.3 - Why is Helen anxious to get Daria to do this, and to get her to do that every other week?

 

The obvious answer would probably be so that Daria would be pulled out of her "Depression". The real

answer is so Daria will be more like her (And hey, Daria's already learned the fine art of negotiation,

a lawyer's best friend.).

 

--- 2.4 - Why is Helen a workaholic?

 

(I'll get back to you on that)

 

--- 2.5 - How did Helen make the Baby Boomer transistion from hippie to Mrs Tough Lawyer?

 

Helen was approached by someone (No one knows who) back in 1971 that wanted her to play the part of a

lawyer on a TV show pilot. Helen had no clue as to how to be a lawyer, so she looked over the lines

dozens of times, and then skimmed through a book on lawyers. Eventually, she got the character down,

and played the part extremely well, perhaps too well. Helen was so intrigued by the legal system that

she went to law school, and got her law degree. By the time she became a full-fledged lawyer, Helen

was almost unrecogonizable by her friends and Jake.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 3 - The Barksdale Family

--- 3.1 - Rita Barksdale

--- 3.1.1 - Who is Rita?

 

 

 

--- 3.1.2 - Why are Rita and Helen at each other's throats and in each other's arms at the same time?

 

 

 

--- 3.2 - Amy Barksdale

--- 3.2.1 - Who is Amy?

 

 

 

--- 3.2.2 - Are Amy and Daria exactly alike in about every way?

 

 

 

--- 3.2.3 - What's Amy's favorite food?

 

 

 

--- 3.2.4 - When did Amy become Daria's role-model?

 

 

 

--- 3.2.5 - What does Amy DO, exactly?

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 4 - The Lane Family

--- 4.1 - Vince Lane

--- 4.1.1 - Who is Vince?

 

 

 

--- 4.1.2 - Has Vince ever spent any of his time with the kids?

 

 

 

--- 4.2 - Amanda Lane

--- 4.2.1 - Who is Amanda?

 

 

 

--- 4.2.2 - How did Amanda manage to raise all five kids without just taking off?

 

 

 

--- 4.3 - Wind Lane

--- 4.3.1 - Who is Wind?

 

 

 

--- 4.3.2 - Has Wind ever considered suicide?

 

 

 

--- 4.4 - Penny Lane

--- 4.4.1 - Who is Penny?

 

 

 

--- 4.4.2 - Why did Penny move to Central America in the first place?

 

 

 

--- 4.5 - Summer Lane

--- 4.5.1 - Who is Summer?

 

 

 

--- 4.5.2 - Why can't Summer keep her kids from running away?

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 5 - Mystik Spiral

--- 5.1 - What is Mystik Spiral?

 

 

 

--- 5.2 - What music genre is Mystik Spiral?

 

 

 

--- 5.3 - How many songs have they made?

 

 

 

--- 5.4 - The Band Members

--- 5.4.1 - Trent Lane

 

Lead Guitar (Vocals).

 

--- 5.4.2 - Jesse Moreno

 

Rhythm Guitar (Vocals).

 

--- 5.4.3 - Nick Campbell

 

Bass Player.

 

--- 5.4.4 - Max Tyler

 

Drummer.

 

--- 5.5 - We all know Mystik Spiral has completed a vinyl single with "Icebox Woman" and "Behind My

                Eyelids", but has it made any profit?

 

Hell no.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 6 - Why aren't you covering the rest?

 

Budget cuts.

 

========================================================================================================

Chapter 7 - The Andrea Anomaly

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 1 - Andrea who?

--- 1.1 - Who is Andrea?

 

Andrea is a girl in most of Daria's classes. If people are in fact looking for her, she will be noticed

quite easily. She is usually identified by most fans as "That goth girl"

 

--- 1.2 - And why haven't we seen Andrea in any episodes?

 

Actually, we have. Only no one really notices her as she's usually in the background while an impact

player is speaking or doing something (See section 4).

 

--- 1.3 - What does Andrea look like?

 

Long, black-batlike skirt, black high-heeled boots, dark-gray shirt with black necklace (Possibly a

skull), elbow-length fishnet glove on right hand, short-black hair, black mascara, and black lipstick.

Somewhat overweight, but then, maybe her shirt's just in a larger size.

 

--- 1.4 - Is Andrea a cast member's friend or something?

 

Nope.

 

--- 1.5 - Has Andrea had any speaking roles?

 

Yes, seven. (See section 4: Andrea's On-Screen appearances)

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 2 - A cult of Anti-Personality

--- 2.1 - Why does everyone like Andrea?

 

Because she looks cool, and she's always there.

 

--- 2.2 - What's with Andrea's outfit?

 

Obviously, when you're a serious thinker, you don't care how you dress.

 

--- 2.3 - What's with the whole Goth getup?

 

She just felt like dressing like it one day, and kept doing it ever since. She's not exacty a goth, she

just likes dressing up. She started listening to Goth rock later on.

 

--- 2.4 - Does Andrea worship Satan?

 

Nope. Only an idiot would, and Andrea doesn't exactly look like an idiot.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 3 - Andrea's life (Or lack of)

--- 3.1 - Where does Andrea live?

 

Andrea lives across the street from Lawndale High School, so she doesn't have to walk very far.

 

--- 3.2 - Describe an ordinary day in Andrea's life (Excluding school).

 

(I'll get back to you on that)

 

--- 3.3 - Does Andrea have ..... somebody?

 

Yes. Like Daria, Andrea is infatuated with a musician. He's the lead guitar in a Heavy Goth band "X-

Vampires" (The gothic version of the X-Men).

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 4 - Andrea's On-Camera Appearances

(Alter-Egos in the credits don't count, By the way)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

--- 4.1 - Season One

--- 4.1.1 - Esteemsters

 

Segment 1: Andrea is in the front row in Demartino's class to Daria's left.

Segment 3: Andrea is in the applauding crowd when O'Neill announces Daria's name.

 

--- 4.1.2 - The Invitation

 

Andrea is not in this episode (Oh gosh, dern, and damn!).

 

--- 4.1.3 - College Bored

 

Andrea is not in this episode either.

 

--- 4.1.4 - Cafe Disaffecto

 

Segment 3: Andrea gets to read a poem onstage in the coffeehouse.

 

--- 4.1.5 - Malled

 

 

 

--- 4.1.6 - This Year's Model

 

Segment 3: Andrea is in the third row when General BuckConroy addresses the assembly.

 

--- 4.1.7 - The Lab Brat

 

Segment 1: Andrea is in the back of Ms. Barch's Class, behind Mackenzie (Who is behind Daria and Jodie).

Segment 3: Andrea is behind Ms. Barch (You can see a glimpse of her at the beginning of Daria's

                 presentation).

 

--- 4.1.8 - Pinch Sitter

 

Segment 1: Andrea is sitting in front of Kevin in Demartino's class.

 

--- 4.1.9 - Too Cute

 

Segment 3: Quinn's asking Andrea to sign her petition to get plastic surgery for free. (Andrea's 2nd

                 speaking role)

 

--- 4.1.10 - The Big House

 

Segment 3: After Demartino is hit by Rock 'n' Roll Randy in the knee, making him fall, Andrea cheers

                 "YES!" (Andrea's 3rd speaking role)

 

--- 4.1.11 - The Road Worrier

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.1.12 - The Teachings of Don Jake

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.1.13 - The Misery Chick

 

Segment 3: Andrea is sitting in front of Daria in O'Neill's class.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

--- 4.2 - Season Two

--- 4.2.1 - Arts & Crass

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.2.2 - The Daria Hunter

 

Segment 1: Andrea is sitting behind Kevin in Demartino's class (Andrea even glances at us, the viewers,

                 when Kevin mentions his Dad's a contractor).

 

--- 4.2.3 - Quinn the Brain

 

Segment 2: Andrea can be seen behind Quinn in the three-shot in the Cafeteria.

 

--- 4.2.4 - I Don't

 

Segment 2: During the Bridal Fashion Show, Andrea is sitting two seats down from Mackenzie's left.

 

--- 4.2.5 - That Was Then, This is Dumb

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.2.6 - Monster

 

Segment 1: Andrea is at the front of the lineup to get into the theater.

 

--- 4.2.7 - The New Kid

 

Segment 1: Andrea walks behind Daria and disappears (Sorceress, perhaps?).

Segment 1: Andrea is at the table in front of Demartino's Yearbook class, facing away.

Segment 2: Andrea has her back turned in the last scene of the Fashion Club Cafeteria meeting.

 

--- 4.2.8 - Gifted

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.2.9 - Ill

 

Segment 1: Thinner version of Andrea can be spotted while Daria is walking towards the restroom (Sister,

                 perhaps?).

Segment 1: Original Andrea can be spotted for a split-second on the far-left while Daria is escaping the

                 restroom.

 

--- 4.2.10 - Fair Enough

 

Segment 2: After Daria and Quinn split from their parents, Andrea walks behind them from right to left,

                 just before Linda Griffin pops up to meet Helen and Jake.

Segment 2: Upchuck asks Andrea to listen to his minstrel (Off-camera, but she tells him to fuck off, but

                 not in those words {It's cable, duh.}. Andrea's 4th speaking role).

Segment 2: During the dunking of Mrs Bennett, Andrea can be seen in the background far behind Sandi's

                 little brothers.

Segment 2: When Daria and Jane walk up to Jodie's "Desk", Andrea can be seen ordering something from a

                 stand behind them, then walking off.

Segment 2: When Daria and Jane ponder going on the ferris wheel, during the shot of Upchuck's approching

                 the two, Andrea can be seen in the upper-left corner. (Then after they get into a seat,

                 Andrea can be seen approaching Ms. Barch's fortune-telling booth)

 

--- 4.2.11 - See Jane Run

 

Segment 1: Andrea is sitting down on the left end of the gym mat.

Segment 2: After Jane leaves Daria in the hallway, Daria starts to mumble to herself. Andrea happens to

                 be there while she's there and goes "Do you mind? This is a private conversation."

Segment 3: Andrea is next to Brittany in Gym class.

 

--- 4.2.12 - Pierce Me

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.2.13 - Write Where it Hurts

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

--- 4.3 - Season Three

--- 4.3.1 - Daria!

 

Segemnt 3: Final scene, group-shot, Andrea can be seen in the upper-right hand corner with orange hair

                 and a white shirt (An obvious screwup in the animation department).

 

--- 4.3.2 - Through a Lens Darkly

 

Segment 2: Andrea is sitting in front of Daria in Mr. O'Neill's class.

Segment 3: Daria walks without her contacts in the hallway and bumps into Andrea by accident. "Hey,

                 watch it!"(Andrea's 5th speaking role)

 

--- 4.3.3 - The Old and the Beautiful

 

Segment 1: Andrea is sitting in front of Jane in Demartino's class.

 

--- 4.3.4 - Depth Takes a Holiday

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.3.5 - Daria Dance Party

 

Segment 1: Andrea can be spotted behind Brittany when she mentions where Ms. Defoe is.

Segment 2: Andrea is in the Pizza King with Brittany and Jodie, walking by them. (Andrea's 6th speaking

                 role)

 

--- 4.3.6 - The Lost Girls

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.3.7 - It Happened One Nut

 

Segment 1: Andrea is sitting in front of Brittany in Demartino's class.

 

--- 4.3.8 - Lane Miserables

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.3.9 - Jake of Hearts

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.3.10 - Speedtrapped

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.3.11 - The Lawndale File

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.3.12 - Just Add Water

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.3.13 - Jane's Addition

 

Segment 1: (Debatable) Andrea is on the far left of O'Neill's class.

Segment 1: "Andrea's Sister" can be seen next to Tom when he's first spotted.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

--- 4.4 - Season Four

--- 4.4.1 - Partner's Complaint

 

Segment 1: After Mrs. Bennett's bell rings, Andrea can be seen walking behind Daria and Jane.

 

--- 4.4.2 - Antisocial Climbers

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.4.3 - A Tree Grows in Lawndale

 

Segment 1: In the large shot of Mr. O'Neil's class, Andrea is sitting behind Daria, but then disappears

                 (Again with the sorceress act).

Segment 3: Andrea is sitting beside Jane in Mr. Demartino's class.

 

--- 4.4.4 - Murder She Snored

 

Segment 1: Andrea is sitting behind Kevin in Mr. Demartino's class.

Segment 2: Andrea is shaving Upchuck's leg. (Yes, it seems gross)

Segment 2: Andrea is in the funeral crowd, behind the two Asian students.

Segment 3: Andrea is sitting in front of Daria in Mr. Demartino's class.

 

--- 4.4.5 - The 'F' Word

 

Segment 1: Andrea is the first to leave Mr. O'Neil's class.

Segment 3: Andrea is sitting behind Kevin in Mr. O'Neil's class, she's also drawing a picture of herself

                 in a coffin.

Segment 3: While Mr. O'Neill announces he's quitting teaching, Andrea is still sitting behind Kevin.

 

--- 4.4.6 - I Loathe a Parade

 

Segment 1: "Andrea's Sister" standing next to Ms. Li.

 

--- 4.4.7 - Of Human Bonding

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.4.8 - Psycho Therapy

 

Andrea is not in this episode.

 

--- 4.4.9 - Mart of Darkness

 

For once, Andrea has an important role in an Episode. Andrea is the elusive stock girl in the warehouse.

 

--- 4.4.10 - Legends of the Mall

 

Segment 1:

Segment 2:

Segment 3:

 

--- 4.4.11 - Groped by an Angel

 

Segment 1:

Segment 2:

Segment 3:

 

--- 4.4.12 - Fire! Fire!

 

Segment 1:

Segment 2:

Segment 3:

 

--- 4.4.13 - "Dye! Dye! My Darling!

 

Segment 3: After Daria confesses her sin to Jane, Andrea can be seen behind Daria.

 

--- 4.5.0 - Is it Fall Yet?

 

1st Half:

2nd Half:

 

{The episodes with blank spaces will be added {Along with everything else that wasn't added} in the next

revision of the FUQ.)

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 5 - Andrea's History

--- 5.1 - When did Andrea start getting into the whole "Gothic" atmosphere?

 

(I'll get back to you on that)

 

--- 5.2 - Was Andrea considered "nerdy" in school?

 

Actually, yeah. Andrea was once a member of the Chess Club in Junior High.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 6 - Andrea's Future

--- 6.1 - Will Andrea ever get her time in the spotlight?

 

Yes, after Daria and Jane head off to College, Quinn makes a new best friend after being kicked out of

the Fashion Club. Andrea and Quinn discovered that they have some things in common and become known as

the next Daria & Jane. (Set to air in 2002)

 

--- 6.2 - Will we see Andrea without her makeup and Goth Garb?

 

Since we never see Andrea very much in the show, it's doubtful we'll see her looking "Normal".

 

--- 6.3 - Will Andrea get her own show?

 

Yup, as "Daria" spun-off from "Beavis & Butt-Head", Andrea will get her own show sometime in the year

2003 (Provided that "Daria" lasts that long).

 

========================================================================================================

Chapter 8 - Who are these guys, really?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 1 - Huh?

 

Believe it or not, these people actually have lives outside of the show. And I might add, they're quite

different fron their on-stage personas.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 2 - What are these people REALLY like?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.1 - Daria Morgan

2.1.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Daria Morgendorffer

       Aliases: The Misery Chick, Diarrhea-cha-cha-cha, "You know, that girl....."

       Age: 19

       Criminal Record: Rumored to be a drug-dealer, jaywalking, assault & battery (On four ocasions).

       Turn-Ons: People that don't judge other people, regardless.

       Turn Offs: Everything else.

       Salary: $3,000 a week

       Measurements: 28-20-22 (I've been doing a little concealin')

       Favorite Color: Black

       Last Read Book: "Life in Hell"

       Last Written Book: "How to Invade a Small Country"

       Favorite TV Show: "WWF Raw"

       Favorite Movie: "Cannibal!: The Musical"

       Favorite Celebrity: Godzilla (When people gives him shit, he eats them)

       Dreams or Goals: To get up one morning and not have to put up with other people's shallow

                        problems.

       When I get Mad: I shoot a stagehand in the nuts.

       Philosophy: "Humans suck."

       Accomplishments: Ummm, I got my own show.

       What Shames Me: Ummm, I got my own show.

       Favorite Quote: None, I prefer silence.

       On Dates I like to: Scare the poor sap with prophecies of Satan returning to Earth. If the guy

                                                   doesn't run away, then he is truly mine.

       REAL Bio: Daria Morgan has been a TV Extra, a TV Star, a Professional Wrestler, a Starship

                 Captain, and a replacement co-host for "Regis & Kathie Lee". The lady has truly done it

                 all. Unfortunately, she pushed herself too hard over a few weeks in shooting an episode

                 and actually believed herself to be Daria Morgendorffer, creating somewhat of an

                 amnesia case. A little bit of her memory was restored, but her parents never told her

                             that she was a drug dealer on the side (In the hopes that she won't do it anymore).

       Additional Comments: We may have found our holy savior (Seconds after this quote was said, the

                                                    man was shot).

2.1.2 - Other feats

            Besides being able to pirate her own cable, Daria is also a natural at games of CD Frizbee.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.2 - Amy Morgan

2.2.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Aunt Amy

       Aliases: Airline Amy (Inspired a song for Weird Al)

       Age: 42

       Criminal Record: Assaulted a cop during Woodstock.

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary: $500 per-appearance

       Measurements: 23-21-22

       Favorite Color: Black

       Last Read Book: Harry Potter (I forgot the name).

       Last Written Book: "Harry Potter Goes to Hell"

       Favorite TV Show: MTV's "Daria" (I like my daughter's work)

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals: Basically to make sure that my daughter has dropped her old drug dealing habit.

       When I get Mad: I just punch my Jakie in the stomach (He seems to enjoy it).

       Philosophy: People that feel they have to pass judgement just to prove the volume of their

                                     genitals should be shot execution-style.

       Accomplishments: The fact that we (Jakie and I) raised a wonderful girl to be one of good sound

                                                and judgement.

       What Shames Me: The fact that our wonderful girl was once a drug-dealer for most of the cast of

                                         her show (And the fact that the story was broadcast on "60 Minutes").

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: Basically, a traditional mother that anyone can be proud of.

2.2.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.3 - Jake Morgan

2.3.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Jake Morgendoeffer

       Aliases: N/A

       Age: 45

       Criminal Record: One speeding ticket. (Not much of a record)

       Turn-Ons: Vanilla ice cream (plain, like him), Amy (Duh),

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book: "Why Does My Wife Beat Me?"

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.3.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.4 - Trent Lane

2.4.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Trent Lane

       Aliases: None

       Age: 24

       Criminal Record: Noise Pollution violation, was forced to listen to Method Man, Onyx, Busta

                                          Rhymes, and Coolio for two hours as court-ordered sentence.

       Turn-Ons: Open-minds, sense of humor, and most of all, his wife Jane (In real life, they're not

                             blood-related, and happily married).

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.4.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.5 - Jane Machelli Lane

2.5.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Jane Lane

       Aliases: Miss Vulture, Calamity Lane, Lady Laid Lane, Lois Lane.

       Age: 22

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 20-19-20

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: A looney beatnik

2.5.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.6 - Quinn Griffin

2.6.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Quinn Morgendorffer

       Aliases:

       Age: 19

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary: $1,500 a week (Plus other benefits)

       Measurements: 22-19-20

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me: (See Chapter 1, Section 6)

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.6.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.7 - Sandi Griffin

2.7.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: N/A

       Aliases:

       Age: 19

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary: $1,500 a week (Plus other benefits)

       Measurements: 22-19-20

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.7.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.8 - Helen Griffin

2.8.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Helen Morgendorffer

       Aliases:

       Age: 46

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 26-20-22

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: Linda's lesbian lover

2.8.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.9 - Linda Griffin

2.9.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: N/A

       Aliases:

       Age: 46 1/4

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 24-20-21

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: Helen's lesbian lover

2.9.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.10 - Kevin Thompson

2.10.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 18

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.10.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.11 - Britney Spears

2.11.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Ummmm.......

       Aliases: Brittany Taylor

       Age: 19

       Criminal Record: Assault and Battery toward co-worker Kevin Thompson.

       Turn-Ons: Money by the truckload, and myself when I look into the mirror at my perfect lovely

                             self.

       Turn Offs: The fact that people still say my breasts are fake (Even though they are, but that's

                                    no excuse, it's still mean!).

       Salary: $100,000-per-appearance.

       Measurements: 23-19-21

       Favorite Color: Green (As in money)

       Last Read Book: "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish"

       Last Written Book: "CAT" (That was the entire book, BTW)

       Favorite TV Show: MTV's Fanatic (More specifically, her appearance)

       Favorite Movie: I don't watch movies unless I'm in them.

       Favorite Celebrity: Myself.

       Dreams or Goals: To someday clone myself so I can make love to my own perfect body. ME! ME! OH

                                                WONDERFUL ME!

       When I get Mad: I draw a random name from a list of websites that hate me and have that person's

                                         internet account revoked.

       Philosophy: I am wonderful and beautifl, and everyone else is filthy, so nyah!

       Accomplishments: Duhhhh!

       What Shames Me: The fact that women are jealous of my instant superstardom.

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: I don't go on dates. I'd rather just lock all the doors, stare at a poster of

                                                   myself, and mastub.... HEY! WHAT ARE YOU WRITING??! THIS INTERVIEW'S OVER!!!

                                                   GUARDS!!!

       REAL Bio: Britney Spears is a totally self-involved narcissict that became popular by stealing

                             her dad's credit card and sneaking a breast augmentation while her parents were away on

                             vacation. The rest is history.

       Additional Comments: Do not hesitate to shoot this weirdo between her eyes.

2.11.2 - Other feats

            Britney has discovered that her silicone breasts are so hard that she could balance a knife on the

            tip without any pain.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.12 - Mike Mackenzie

2.12.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 20

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: Wannabe Gangsta Rapper

2.12.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.13 - Jodie Houston

2.13.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Jodie Landon

       Aliases:

       Age: 18

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 22-19-20

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.13.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.14 - Anthony Demartino

2.14.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 53

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.14.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.15 - Janet Demartino

2.15.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 48

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 25-21-22

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: A kickboxer

2.15.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.16 - Angela Li

2.16.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 54

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 23-21-22

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.16.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.17 - Tiffany Li

2.17.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 19

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary: $1,000 a week (Plus other benefits)

       Measurements: 23-19-20

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: A real fashion whacko

2.17.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.18 - Timmy Rockford

2.18.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Mr. Tim O'Neill

       Aliases:

       Age: 32

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.18.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.19 - Charles Rockford

2.19.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Charles Ruttheimer III

       Aliases:

       Age: 20

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.19.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.20 - Andrea Wesker

2.20.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Andrea

       Aliases:

       Age: 21

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 24-21-22

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.20.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.21 - Jamie Black

2.21.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 19

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.21.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.22 - Claire Black

2.22.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 29

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 24-22-22

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to: N/A

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: A stripper

2.22.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.23 - Joey Harris

2.23.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 21

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.23.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.24 - Jeffy Harris

2.24.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 20

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments:

2.24.2 - Other feats

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.25 - Stacy Rowe

2.25.1 - Stats

       Stage Name: Stacy

       Aliases: Stacy the Impaler, Sycho Stacy, Uberbitch, Dream Girl (called at a biker bar)

       Age: 19

       Criminal Record: Stacy has violent outbursts whenever she doesn't get her fill of NRS199, an

                                                experimental drug used as an advanced version of Prozac. Unfortunately, it's a

                                          felony to possess it in North America and most of Europe. Stacy was committed to

                                                a mental institution at least seven times, and was released to the care of MTV

                                                on the fact that the ward couldn't afford to put Stacy on NRS199 for the rest of

                                                her life.

       Turn-Ons: Peeling the skin off a egotistical bitch.

       Turn Offs: People that think they know everything when they really don't know jack shit.

       Salary: (No known salary as of yet, all of her paychecks currently go to pay for all the damage

                           she's done from the point she was unexpectedly cut off from her daily NRS199 doses.)

       Measurements: (Anyone that's come close to try to measure Stacy has left on hospital stretchers.)

       Favorite Color: Black

       Last Read Book: (She was last seen at a grocery store laughing uncontrollably at a Tiger Beat

                                         magazine.)

       Last Written Book: "1,001 Ways to Skin a Tramp"

       Favorite TV Show: "Toughman" (Seen on FX)

       Favorite Movie: "Fight Club"

       Favorite Celebrity: OJ Simpson

       Dreams or Goals: To live in a city where nothing pisses me off.

       When I get Mad: I snap an anorexic whore like a twig.

       Philosophy: Men aren't the only ones that some choose to be stupid morons, women choose to be

                                     idiots and self-righteous as well, and must be destroyed one-at-a-time.

       Accomplishments: I knocked out Tank Abbott in broad daylight after that dumbass prick called me a

                                                whore.

       What Shames Me: I'm on a stupid fag show that only two or three losers watch.

       Favorite Quote: "One who is without sin cast the first stone."

       On Dates I like to: There never is a date, I just shove the guy in the car and get down to

                                                   business. Dinner and movies only waste my time.

       REAL Bio: Stacy has learned to survive in a crowd of self-absorbent kids for 12 years by

                             fighting, nonstop. Stacy, always the most different in a crowd, was constantly taunted

                             and teased by neighborhood and school bullies, male and female. Stacy has always

                             responded in kind with the kind of killer instinct that would make a drill sergant

                             blush. Unfortunately, they kept coming back (Sometimes together), all under the

                             impression that they could take her in a fight. When Stacy Rowe left her childhood

                             neighborhood for New York to find a job, she was greeted with more slammed doors than a

                             door-to-door greeting by Kato Kaelin. Stacy was frustrated, and then furious. She

                             eventually started buying NRS199 from the black market to keep herself from exploding.

                             Eventually, her drug supply ran dry and she eventually got thrown in solitary

                             confinement for brutally assaulting five people in a diner and three cellmates. Stacy

                             was later transferred to a Mental Ward after she was diagnosed as legally insane.

       Additional Comments: Stacy is somewhat of a tomboy, always hanging out in biker bars, redneck

                                                    bars, strip clubs, simply to pick fights with whoever she feels needs their

                                                    teeth kicked down their throats. She's been known to scare cast members with

                                                    her glare alone (Even Daria gets a chill down her spine in her presence.).

2.25.2 - Other feats

            Besides being somewhat of a pit-fighter, Stacy is a whiz at sewing. She literally made her own

            leather jacket (With custom metal shoulderplates and spikes) and black rubber pants (With shiny

            knee-high-heeled boots). She wanted to show off her own brand of fashion: Don't take shit from no

            one.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.26 - Diane Benett

2.26.1 - Stats

       Stage Name:

       Aliases:

       Age: 33

       Criminal Record:

       Turn-Ons:

       Turn Offs:

       Salary:

       Measurements: 26-23-24

       Favorite Color:

       Last Read Book:

       Last Written Book:

       Favorite TV Show:

       Favorite Movie:

       Favorite Celebrity:

       Dreams or Goals:

       When I get Mad:

       Philosophy:

       Accomplishments:

       What Shames Me:

       Favorite Quote:

       On Dates I like to:

       REAL Bio:

       Additional Comments: A suck-up intern that was lucky to get a part in the show

2.26.2 - Other feats

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 3 - How is it possible to come up with this stuff?

 

You have to have the love to be different, to stand out without even trying. Or if that's too much to

do, then just sit in #Daria+ when an Iron Chef episode airs for about three hours, and you'll be in the

mood to rip out the hearts of total strangers.

 

========================================================================================================

Chapter 9 - Unbelievable

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 1 - Overheard during episode shootings

--- 1.1 - Actual comments

 

These are comments overheard by cast members, production staff, interns, boom-mic operators, janitors,

sound engineers, and assistants to cast members, while on and around the set of MTV's Daria.

 

"Is it just me, or are Brittany's tits getting bigger every time?"

 

"I really don't know why they call the show 'Daria'. I mean, I'm the star."

 

"I could SWEAR Daria's related to Janeane Garafolo!"

 

 

 

 

--- 1.2 - Rumors

 

Brittany keeps a bike pump in her dressing room in case she wants to upgrade her cup.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 2 - Alternate ideas for the Pilot that were never used

 

Believe it or not, MTV had thought of several ideas for the pilot, but they all chose the one that can

be seen on the Daria video. Here are the pilots that you DIDN'T see:

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

--- 2.1 - Daria: Teen Radio DJ

 

Daria Morgan (Short, hip name), a hit radio DJ has just gotten through with a block of hard rock tunes.

She begins a segment of her show called "In Your Face", where Daria confronts the local issues and

verbally crucifies the mayor of Lawndale for his "Activities" with prostitutes and drugs. Afterwards,

Daria is greeted by her stage manager, Tim O'Neill, to pair her with a New York small-time comedian

named Jane Lane. They never met, so they resent each other at first, even taking their heat on the air.

Daria's brutal honesty and Jane's care-free comical attitude were an instant hit.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

--- 2.2 - The U.S.S. Starship Lawndale

 

Captain Daria Morgendorffer of the U.S.S. Lawndale take off on their maiden voyage past the Sol Asteroid

Belt, passing Pluto, when they picked up an unusual object in front of them. Suddenly, an omnipotent

being named "R" appears on the bridge telling Captain Daria to either return to "Thy known space" or to

sleep with him. When Daria refuses, he simply goes "Rrrrrrr, feisty!". Then he sends the Lawndale 30

yight years away from their position to introduce them to a great enemy to all. A giant pink tube

appears out of nowhere with a constant transmission of thousands of female voices speaking at once: "We

are the FOrg, your culture and technology will be added to our own, plus we will make you look halfway

decent." (FOrg is short for Fashion Organization). The Lawndale and the FOrg Tube (Which reveals to be a

large tube of lipstick) engage in battle for hours, a few of the crew were "Fashionated", until finally

"R" shifts the Lawndale back to where it was.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

--- 2.3 - Daria: Punk Rocker

 

Daria is the Lead singer in a riot grrl band with Jane, Andrea, Quinn, and Sandi. The group have all

been friends for years, they all get along together as well, and then right out of the blue, Quinn

suddenly decides to go solo. Quinn manages to get a record contract with Megaforce Records and her first

album "Me, Me, & Me Again" went gold in a matter of weeks after her soon-to-be award-winning video

aired on MTV. Meanwhile, Daria, Jane, Andrea, and Sandi are struggling to find gigs. Jane, despite

Sandi's hopes to keep it an all-girl band, talks Trent into taking Quinn's spot until a suitable

replacement can be found. So far, Trent has stayed with Assitude for two years and counting.

 

========================================================================================================

Chapter 10 - Acknowledgements (aka: The serious stuff)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 1 - URLs

http://www.mtv.com/mtv/tubescan/animation/daria/

            - The Official webpage of MTV's Daria. Download screensavers, tour through Lawndale, view

            exclusive clips, and win prizes.

 

http://www.outpost-daria.com

            - Outpost Daria. One of the leading resources for Daria fan art, fanfiction, and information.

 

http://www.chickpages.com/bookworms/dariaxmas/index.html

            - Christmas has come early this year. Check out this funny comic from Melissa Winters.

 

http://dariapics.tripod.com/webring/

            - The Daria fan art webring. This is a great place to check out up-and-coming artistic talent from

            gifted Daria fans.

 

http://www.wvinter.net/~cws/daria.html

            - The East Wing of the Slaughterhouse Compound Website (Otherwise known as the Daria Wing).

            Contains the Daria Sounds Archive (The other half of the leading provider in Daria sounds), the

            Lawndale High Wrestling Federation (The only one of its kind), the upcoming Children of Lawndale

            Project (Still in development, so no pictures yet), and the Other Daria Webring.

 

http://www.insidetheweb.com/messageboard/mbs.cgi/mb7921

            - Helpful Corn Message Board. Provided to us by good-old Inside-The-Web. A good place to hang out.

            Most of the Daria Community veterans hang out at Helpful Corn.

 

http://www.juicycerebellum.com

            - Cynicism at its deadliest. The Juicy Cerebellum is a kickass humor site that is GUARANTEED to

            make you laugh (If not, then check your pulse, you may be dead).

 

http://www.fitshaced.com/

            - Almost the same as above, but their humor is totally in-your-face, they don't take shit from

            anyone, and I must admit, it's not for everyone. Currently under hiatus.

 

http://www.shownomercy.com/

            - I refer to this site as an alternative to Sick Sad World, only this is real, and it's never

            pretty (In fact, it's rather gruesome). I advise strong caution when viewing this site (You just

            might lose your lunch, and everything else).

 

http://www.vintagegaming.com/

            - Dave's Video Game Classics. A good place to see independant game designers showcase their works,

            and to catch up on the latest in console emulation. (Daria DOES play video games, and chances are,

            she goes to a place like this at least once a month or so.)

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 2 - Unofficial Daria chatrooms

Fire up your IRC client program (mIRC, IRCle, PIRCH, Microsoft Chat, etc) and log on to the server of

your choosing, and the channel of your choosing.

 

irc.dal.net (Get a list of servers from Http://www.dal.net)

 

#Daria+ - The one that started it all. #Daria+ was originally founded by yours truly in 1998 when

assholes decided to lock everyone out and maintain a lock by using 24-hour connections (Therefore no one

got in). Even though the age of DALnet's #Daria+ has somewhat passed, the room is still available for

chat nights.

 

#Daria - Sometimes originality helps. Currently unregistered (Dibs, anyone?).

 

irc.sorcery.net (Port 9000)

 

#Daria+ - The chatroom of the popular. People decided to move here because it's more quieter than

DALnet, and there's less risk of a netsplit between servers (Although that's a lie. Netsplitting is a

universal thing and therefore cannot be escaped).

 

#Lawndale - This is usually an alternative for New Episode nights and a new episode is on (Not everyone

can see the new episode at once). People are free to discuss the new episode without fear of spoilers.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 3 - Credits

Giving credit where credit is due.

 

William Fowler (SickSadGuy) - "Overheard Backstage"

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- 4 - One final note

 

If you've managed to read through this entire FUQ without putting a fist through the wall, then you are

a definite anti-shipper (Don't let the hardcore fans judge you just because you're different) and a real

human being with independant thoughts (Don't let "Normal people" judge you because you have feelings).

People will do anything to put down an anti-shipper by using whatever excuses in the back of their mind,

like "Oh, well, he's just a sucky writer", or "He's just jealous because Daria's supposed to be

sophisticated" (Sophisticated, yes, but people forget about the comedy).

 

I'm not too keen on people that say that Daria SHOULD be like this or it's SUPPOSED to be like that. I

REALLY don't want to repeat the speech at the end of "Untitled-2" (Which was the building blocks for

this FUQ). If people say that some TV show/movie/story sucks or is terrible, well, no one was forcing

you to read it or see it. In fact I gave several warnings already that this is nothing like the stuff

you normally read. Next person I hear shouting "Blaspheme" is getting their black heart yanked out with

a pair of scissors.

 

We anti-shippers are here because we just want to have fun with the way the characters are. We're not

here to overall bash the characters or other fans just because we think differently than hardcore and

ordinary fans.

 

If you would like to contribute to the Daria FUQ (Additional unasked questions with insane answers,

overheard on the Daria set, rumors about the cast, & Daria pilots that didn't quite make it), send them

to cws@wvinter.net . If it's funny enough, messed up enough, or totally fucked up enough, it'll make it

into the next update.

 

As for hatemail, feel free to send them to the same address as well. If it's funny enough, I will print

it out on paper and frame it on my wall, where I will look at it every morning and laugh uncontrollibly.

 

In the meantime, enjoy the show for the way it is. Don't try to change it or screw with something great.

You never really get to appreciate something good until it's gone and erased from history forever.

 

See you on Christmas Eve.