The Unofficial Daria FUQ
version 1.0
by Chris Smith
cws@wvinter.net
Daria and other characters are
trademarks of MTV Networks.
========================================================================================================
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==Chapter 1 - Introduction
0 - Warnings and disclaimers.
1 - What the FUQ?!
2 - 'The hell are shippers?
3 - 'The hell are 'maters?
4 - 'The fuck do you get off saying this shit?!
5 - Can you please forgive me?
6 - C'mon, I said "please".
7 - ARE YOU NUTS?!
8 - Why do you hate hardcore Daria
fans so much?
9 - Previous FUQ updates
==Chapter 2 - The Impact Players
1 - Daria Morgendorffer
1.1 - Who is Daria?
1.2 - Why hasn't Daria changed her
clothes in four years?
1.3 - Is Daria always so bland
when she talks?
1.4 - Does Daria wear underwear?
1.5 - Didn't I see this girl in amateur porn?
1.6 - What does Daria see in that
1.7 - Why doesn't Daria ever go
anyplace else besides the Lane house and the Pizza King?
1.8 - Hey! Isn't Daria loaded?
1.9 - Does Daria REALLY need the
glasses?
1.10 - Just what WAS that thing in "Daria's
purse"?
2.1 - Who is Jane?
2.2 - Why is Jane so demented?
2.3 - Aside from typical expression, has Jane ever painted
any pictures with naked chicks?
2.4 - Now I KNOW I've seen THIS girl in amateur porn!
2.5 - Jane looks pretty tough. Has she ever made any
teeny-bopper classmates scream for their lives?
2.6 - Wasn't Jane on WCW Nitro?
3.1 - Who is
3.2 - Why does
3.3 - Why hasn't
3.4 - What is that crap coming out of
3.5 - Is this a joke?
3.6 - No, seriously, who IS
==Chapter 3 - The Fashion Club
1 - Quinn Morgendorffer
1.1 - Who is Quinn?
1.2 - She's a slut, isn't she?
1.3 - Why does Quinn wear makeup all the time?
1.4 - Why is Quinn so desparate to
be on top ... of EVERYTHING?
1.4.1 - Is Quinn really trying to steal Sandi's role in the
Fashion Club?
1.4.2 - Why is Quinn obsessed with being popular?
1.5 - Even though Quinn wears the same outfit, she buys lots
of clothes. What gives?
2 - Sandi Griffin
2.1 - Who is Sandi?
2.2 - Why is Sandi the President of the Fashion Club? She's so ..... ugly.
2.3 - What exactly is the Fashion Club oath?
2.4 - Ok, now gimme the real oath.
2.5 - What about this girl? Wasn't SHE in porn?
3 - Tiffany Blum-Deckler
3.1 - Who is Tiffany?
3.2 - Is it just me, or is Tiffany playing both sides
between Quinn and Sandi?
3.3 - Asian girls are hot, she HAD to have been in porn!
3.4 - Why does Tiffany talk so slow?
3.5 - Does Tiffany wear underwear?
4 - Stacy Rowe
4.1 - Who is Stacy?
4.2 - Why is Stacy an instant conformist to the Fashion
Club?
4.3 - Why does Stacy wear braided pigtails, isn't that
unfashionable?
4.4 - Has the Fashion Club changed her life forever?
4.5 - Does Stacy wear underwear?
==Chapter 4 - The Big Fish (In a small pond)
1 - Kevin Thompson
1.1 - Who is Kevin?
1.2 - Was Kevin always the way he was?
1.3 - Why does Kevin wear the shoulder pads 24/7?
1.4 - How can Kevin be so smart and still be so dumb?
1.5 - Why is Kevin being treated like a god among the
students?
2 - Brittany Taylor
2.1 - Who is
2.2 - Was
2.3 - Why does
2.4 - How can
2.5 - Why is
3 - Michael James Mackenzie
3.1 - Who is Mike?
3.2 - Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Wasn't his name "Michael Jordan
Mackenzie"?
3.3 - Why do everyone call him "Mack/Mack Daddy"
3.4 - Does Mike has any clue about
how he'll get screwed in the end by the school?
3.4.1 - Quick Question: What's up with that?
3.5 - Where exactly does the logical football player come
from?
4 - Jodie Landon
4.1 - Who is Jodie?
4.2 - Why are Jodie's parents forcing her to be successful?
4.3 - Why is Jodie trying to maintain her moniker
"Queen of the Negroes?"
4.4 - Why has Jodie established herself as a tweener with Daria and Brittany?
4.5 - Give or take, Jodie's
constant need to be on top with all the school government jobs, her constant
demand to please her unforgiving parents, when is Jodie
going to go on her long-awaited murderous
rampage?
5 - Charles Ruttheimer III
(Upchuck)
5.1 - Who is Charles?
5.2 - What exactly are the benefits of being Charles'
friend?
5.3 - Other than the obvious, why do people hate Charles'?
5.4 - When and how did everyone decide to call everyone
"Upchuck"?
5.5 - Is Charles Ruttheimer III
anything like his father?
==Chapter 5 - The Faculty
1 - Angela Li
1.1 - Who is Ms. Li?
1.2 - Why is Ms. Li so desperate to establish a security
system that would rival
1.3 - Early opinions stated that Ms. Li was somehow
connected with the Mob (Or at least the Yakuza),
does this opinion hold any value today?
1.4 - Why does Ms. Li have this hint of hatred for Daria?
1.5 - What can be the most scariest
thing to think about Ms. Li?
2 - Anthony Demartino
2.1 - Who is Mr. Demartino?
2.2 - Where did Mr. Demartino's
trademark bulging eye come from?
2.3 - Why does Mr. Demartino emphasize on certain words when
he doesn't really need to?
2.4 - Why does Mr. Demartino despise Kevin so much?
2.5 - Was Demartino really a Vietnam War veteran?
3 - Timothy O'Neill
3.1 - Who is Mr. O'Neill?
3.2 - Wow, this guy sounds like a real wuss.
3.3 - How does Mr. O'Neill manage to keep caring about
teaching with positive spunk, after so many years
of teaching to high-school students?
3.4 - In all of O'Neill's adult life, has he EVER gotten
angry?
3.5 - How has O'Neill's life changed after his sudden
involvement with Ms. Barch?
4 - Janet Barch
4.1 - Who is Ms. Barch?
4.2 - Considering the reaction Ms. Barch
suffered when her husband left her, was she already unstable
beforehand?
4.3 - Has anyone ever stood up to Ms. Barch's
anti-male personality?
4.4 - What does Ms. Barch see in
Mr. O'Neill?
4.5 - To physically convince Demartino to change his stance
on the yearbook without outside help must
have took a lot of muscle. How strong IS Ms. Barch?
4.6 - Can I shoot Ms. Barch?
==Chapter 6 - The Rest
1 - Jake Morgendorffer
1.1 - Who is Jake?
1.2 - Why is Jake so childish?
1.3 - Why is Jake so Violent?
1.4 - Why is Jake so oblivious?
1.5 - Why can't Jake just let go of his dad and move on with
his life?
2 - Helen Morgendorffer
2.1 - Who is Helen?
2.2 - Why is Helen so tough to deal with?
2.3 - Why is Helen anxious to get Daria
to do this, and to get her to do that every other week?
2.4 - Why is Helen a workaholic?
2.5 - How did Helen make the Baby Boomer transistion
from hippie to Mrs Tough Lawyer?
3 - The Barksdale Family
3.1 - Rita Barksdale
3.1.1 - Who is Rita?
3.1.2 - Why are Rita and Helen at each other's throats and
in each other's arms at the same time?
3.2 - Amy Barksdale
3.2.1 - Who is Amy?
3.2.2 - Are Amy and Daria exactly
alike in about every way?
3.2.3 - What's Amy's favorite food?
3.2.4 - When did Amy become Daria's
role-model?
3.2.5 - What does Amy DO, exactly?
4 - The Lane Family
4.1.1 - Who is Vince?
4.1.2 - Has Vince ever spent any of his time with the kids?
4.2.1 - Who is Amanda?
4.2.2 - How did Amanda manage to raise all five kids without
just taking off?
4.3.1 - Who is Wind?
4.3.2 - Has Wind ever considered suicide?
4.4.1 - Who is Penny?
4.4.2 - Why did Penny move to
4.5 - Summer Lane
4.5.1 - Who is Summer?
4.5.2 - Why can't Summer keep her
kids from running away?
5 - Mystik Spiral
5.1 - What is Mystik Spiral?
5.2 - What music genre is Mystik
Spiral?
5.3 - How many songs have they made?
5.4 - The Band Members
5.4.1 -
5.4.2 - Jesse Moreno
5.4.3 - Max
5.4.4 -
5.5 - We all know Mystik Spiral
has completed a vinyl single with "Icebox Woman" and "Behind My
Eyelids",
but has it made any profit?
6 - Why aren't you covering the rest?
==Chapter 7 - The Andrea Anomaly
1 - Andrea who?
1.1 - Who is Andrea?
1.2 - Why haven't we seen Andrea in any episodes?
1.3 - What does Andrea look like?
1.4 - Is Andrea a cast member's friend or something?
1.5 - Has Andrea had any speaking roles?
2 - A cult of Anti-Personality
2.1 - Why does everyone like Andrea?
2.2 - What's with Andrea's outfit?
2.3 - What's with the whole Goth shit?
2.4 - Does Andrea worship Satan?
3 - Andrea's life (Or lack of)
3.1 - Where does Andrea live?
3.2 - Describe an ordinary day in Andrea's life (Excluding
school).
3.3 - Does Andrea have ..... somebody?
4 - Andrea's On-Camera Appearances
4.1 - Season One
4.2 - Season Two
4.3 - Season Three
4.4 - Season Four
5 - Andrea's History
5.1 - When did Andrea start getting into the whole
"Gothic" atmosphere?
5.2 - Was Andrea considered "nerdy" in school?
6 - Andrea's Future
6.1 - Will Andrea ever get her time in the spotlight?
6.2 - Will we see Andrea without her makeup and Goth Garb?
6.3 - Will Andrea get her own show?
==Chapter 8 - Who are these guys, really?
1 - Huh?
2 - What are these people REALLY like?
2.1 - Daria Morgan
2.2 - Amy Morgan
2.3 - Jake Morgan
2.6 - Quinn
2.7 - Sandi Griffin
2.8 - Helen Griffin
2.9 - Linda Griffin
2.10 - Kevin Thompson
2.11 -
2.12 - Mike Mackenzie
2.13 - Jodie Houston
2.14 - Anthony Demartino
2.15 - Janet Demartino
2.16 - Angela Li
2.17 - Tiffany Li
2.18 - Timmy Wesker
2.19 - Charles Wesker
2.20 - Andrea Wesker
2.21 - Jamie Black
2.22 - Claire Black
2.23 - Joey Harris
2.24 - Jeffy Harris
2.25 - Stacy Rowe
2.26 - Diane Benett
3 - How is it possible to come up with this stuff?
==Chapter 9 - Unbelievable
1 - Overheard during episode shootings
1.1 - Actual comments
1.2 - Rumors
2 - Alternate ideas for the Pilot that were never used
2.1 - Daria: Teen Radio DJ
2.2 - The U.S.S. Starship
2.3 - Daria: Punk Rocker
==Chapter 10 - Acknowledgements
1 - URLs
2 - Unofficial Daria chatrooms
3 - Credits
4 - One final note
========================================================================================================
--- 0 - Warnings and Disclaimers
The author expresses opinion and his right to piss on
animated characters whenever he pleases. The
author hopes that you, the reader
will take all in jest and not with serious offense. Otherwise, stop
now, and forget you were here.
--- 1 - What the FUQ?!
FUQ is a takeoff on the ever popular FAQ files that pollute
the Internet. FAQ simply stands for
"Frequently Asked Question".
But as of late it has come to indicate a text file full of information
about a certain subject. And you
can get one for just about anything at all: Television shows, music
groups, sex, drugs, masturbation,
suicide, you name it! But if we're going to get really technical, this
really isn't a FAQ, because not
many people ask the questions addressed in this text file at all, let
alone ask them frequently. Hence
the name FUQ (pronounced like "fuck", which is completely
coincidental
of course) which stands for
"Frequently Unasked Questions". If you're in public, you could always
pronounce is as "Fook" or "Fewk",
or even "Fooo" (The Q is silent).
--- 2 - 'The hell are shippers?
Shippers are these pathetic fanfic
writers that die a little each day and that nothing will cure them
until they see Daria
and Trent get together, no matter what, and they will have wild monkey sex all
over
town, and have five kids, and watch
them grow up to be just like them. Is it just me or is this sound
like a rewrite of an episode of
"Blossum"?
--- 3 - 'The hell are 'maters?
Maters are a different definition of Shippers. Although from
field experience, it appears that maters
are also used as some sort of
long-distance blunt object to throw at people. Other people use the term
as some sort of symbiote
that people latch onto to change the way they are. In short, a Mater is like
the objective of Calvinball: It's whatever you want it to be.
--- 4 - 'The fuck do you get off saying this shit?!
Because I still believe in the fact that cartoons (No matter
how they look) are to be either comedies or
action-packed. Daria
is a comedy show, not a forum for Lilith Fair. The
kids do NOT need to be tackling
some major issue every goddamn
show. I can understand the reality-based aspect, but please, this is not
some cheap after-school special.
--- 5 - Can you please forgive me?
No. You've insulted my honor, I
challenge you to a duel. The game is Australian Cockroach Dick-Wrestling
(Best of Seven rules). They have
that on ESPN2, you know.......
--- 6 - C'mon, I said "please".
Forget it, you had your chance, and you blew it like Quinn
blew her cousin as a bribe to keep him from
squealing about her cocaine habit
(Who says people never engage in incest in cartoons?).
--- 7 - ARE YOU NUTS?!
Yes, but insanity helps when you're doing this shit.
--- 8 - Why do you hate hardcore Daria
fans so much?
Because they all have their own visions of what Daria SHOULD be like (Even though
they all want to see
Daria as a romance novel), and
they bash the writers for doing off-the-wall episodes and episodes that
have no serious issue to tackle,
literally spitting in Glenn Echler's face, because
he's the one that
okays episodes for production.
Therefore, hardcore fans suck. Am I a hardcore fan? Yeah, but I defected
long ago, so there.
--- 9 - Previous FUQ updates
8-??-2000:
Daria FUQ v1.0 released to the public.
Failed to finish v1.0 before #413: "Dye! Dye! My
Darling!" aired. Decided to release to the public
shortly after the made-for-TV movie "Is it Fall
Yet?" airs on Sunday, August 20.
Decided
that v1.0 should be released after Season 4 ends (Basically to finish adding
Andrea's
appearances.)
Laid all the original groundwork questions.
Began production.
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Chapter 2 - The Impact Players
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--- 1 - Daria
Morgendorffer
--- 1.1 - Who is Daria?
Daria is a 17-year-old girl (For
once, a toon has aged) that everyone rejects because
she doesn't have
the face of a model, tits the size
of basketballs, thighs that could crush a watermellon,
and an ass
that could spread across
for her seemingly infinite wisdom,
her divine guidance, or for their personal souless
amusement. Dicks.
--- 1.2 - Why hasn't Daria changed
her clothes in four years?
"Pull your chair away from the screen, and you won't
smell anything."
- Daria in MTV.com's "Ask the
Cast"
--- 1.3 - Is Daria always so bland
when she talks?
Yes. Apparently, she accidentally swallowed a bug while on a
roller coaster, and it didn't agree with
her throat. Daria
learned the hard way that if she put any emotion into her voice, it would cause
her to
pass out.
--- 1.4 - Does Daria wear
underwear?
With this being MTV, I have to be honest here. Since Daria and the cameramen have done their best to
hide any hint of anything underneath
Daria's trademarked black-pleated skirt, there's no
way of telling
off-hand. But I learned differently
after a brief encounter (While wearing a ski mask). I
"accidentally" tripped
and fell, landing my head face-up, between Daria's
legs. It was too dark to see,
but I saw buttocks. So either she
goes commando (No undies), or she's wearing a thong.
I'm bringing a
camera with a flash next time. >:)
--- 1.5 - Didn't I see this girl in amateur porn?
Yes, you may have seen her in the film "Toons Gettin' it On", with Jessica Rabbit, Pocahontas, and the
she needed the money). Of course
this is bullshit. You really thought Daria was in
porn?! You stupid-ass
horndog,
don't ever leave the house, ever! You'll thank me later.
But to be honest, I'm bullshitting you again. Daria HAS appeared in porn with some of her fellow cast
members. The following page contains
porn involving the Daria Cast. You must be 18+ or
older to see. I
take absolutely no responsibility
for people that may be offended by such material (Just delete the URL
and forget you ever saw it, that's
all).
(To be honest, some of these pictures ARE rather gross. Why
do I point people to them, you might ask?
Same as the purpose of the FUQ, because no
one asks.)
Http://www.wvinter.net/~cws/BWCS/dariaporn/dariaporn.html
Ladies and Gentlemen, I know that Daria
Porn is somewhat demeaning, but hey, so is showbusiness.
--- 1.6 - What does Daria see in
that
Daria sees immense potential in
punk rock. Daria
is already scouting for deathmetal bands with lead-guitar
players that just seem "Out-
of-place". So far, Daria has only come up with one band for
deathmetal
band with all green instruments, all made to look like they were dunked in
vomit. Their hit
song among the region is "UberRetch"
--- 1.7 - Why doesn't Daria ever
go anyplace else besides the Lane house and the Pizza King?
Because she's lazy, duh.
--- 1.8 - Hey! Isn't Daria loaded?
Why, yes. She gets $25 each from her parents each week, and
if you have the Daria Database book, you'll
notice Daria's
pillow is stuffed with cash. Sooner or later, she should have enough to buy
that stealth
bomber she claims she's wanting.
--- 1.9 - Does Daria REALLY need
the glasses?
Not really. If you notice in "Beyond a Lens
Darkly" when you can see the blurred vision from Daria's
perspective, she can still see just
fine. Again, she's lazy.
--- 1.10 - Just what WAS that thing in "Daria's purse"?
Allow me to explain. In The Beavis & Butt-Head Ensucklopedia, they made several things with modelling
clay, and they sculpted something
that they claimed they found it in Daria's purse. But
when exactly was
the last time we saw Daria with a purse? Anyway, the object looked like a can of
mace (Come to think of
it, when was the last time we ever
saw Daria use a can of mace?). I'm guessing that Daria was watching
some other girl's purse, and the
two retards swiped it.
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---
--- 2.1 - Who is Jane?
Jane is practically a loner in
having things work out), Jane found
a friend in Daria.
--- 2.2 - Why is Jane so demented?
Apparently, Jane was an untreated patient in the Lawndale
Hospital Mental Ward. She escaped, and was
living under the name "Mrs Gillian Klotz", until the heat died down and
people stopped caring. Why Jane
was in the Ward is anybody's guess,
probably because she joked about wanting to eat Daria
out, and
people mistook her as a cannibal.
(Ed. Note: Gillian Klotz was the married name of Gillian
Anderson of X-Files fame. Her husband was
Klotz. This is no bullshit, folx. Not even I could make that shit up.)
--- 2.3 - Aside from typical expression, has Jane ever
painted any pictures with naked chicks?
Yes, and she made a killing by selling five to Upchuck at
$500 a pop. No one knows why he was so eager
to buy them, but witnesses later
saw the entire football team walk with Chuck into his house later that
evening. Jane spent her money on a
new TV for the living room. 59" projection TV with surround sound
speakers, picture-in-picture, and a
DVD player to match. She only had it for two days. Apparently, Jane
& Daria was watching "The
Blair Witch Project" on DVD while
ended up playing a riff that caused
the house to blow a fuse. It somehow fried both the TV and the
player. Jane was pissed about the
fuse, and Daria was pissed about the surprise abrupt
ending of the
flick. "Wow, this DVD
director's cut really sucks."
--- 2.4 - Now I KNOW I've seen THIS girl in amateur porn!
Are you really that stupid? You must be one of those redneck
inbred Jabba-the-Hutt motherfuckers
that
think that porn is why the internet
was invented in the first place. And by the way, why amateur porn?
Why not professional porn, where the girls scream more realisticly and have bigger tits?
--- 2.5 - Jane looks pretty tough. Has she ever made any
teeny-bopper classmates scream for their lives?
Jane has considered beating
the violent type. However, she
sometimes trips the cheerleaders with her leg just to watch and hear the
rubbery-effect when their silicone
tits hit the solid floor. No one knows why, but she seems to enjoy
it.
--- 2.6 - Wasn't Jane on WCW Nitro?
No, you're confusing her for Daffeny,
former manager of David Flair. Jane may be crazy, but she's not
THAT crazy (You've gotta be a loon
to be in WCW). However, Daffeny DOES make a good
substitute.
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---
--- 3.1 - Who is
for Mystik
Spiral, some crap band that literally makes all musicians look bad.
--- 3.2 - Why does
into a new knockout drug to be used
by police officers to quell rowdy prisoners. It worked better than
anyone hoped for, but it didn't
adjust well with
compensation (Bribe). Apparently,
the experiment was not funded by the University and vanished shortly
after the experiment.
--- 3.3 - Why hasn't
that did, eh?).
--- 3.4 - What is that crap coming out of
That's called music (At least that's what
--- 3.5 - Is this a joke?
If you consider
look bad (C'mon, sing an entire
song for once). Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot, it's only a 30-minute
show. But those are the breaks. If
you have someone in a band portraying music, he/she'd better be
prepared to go the whole nine yards
(i.e. singing a song with a full four verses, minimum). Otherwise,
the poor sap will look like a fool.
--- 3.6 - No, seriously, who IS
A phony.
========================================================================================================
Chapter 3 - The Fashion Club
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--- 1 - Quinn Morgendorffer
--- 1.1 - Who is Quinn?
Quinn is Daria's younger, cuter,
fashionable, wishes-she-had-no-sister, sister. Quinn is the epitomy
of
the need to be popular (Even when
it's not needed). Quinn has had men make passes at her day-in to day-
out, had men buy her dinner, cute
gifts, and they got nothing in return (Not even a kiss goodnight).
--- 1.2 - She's a slut, isn't she?
Actually no. Quinn hasn't even been
propositioned for sex as of yet, her dates get too nervous when she
just opens her mouth to speak.
--- 1.3 - Why does Quinn wear makeup all the time?
To attract more and more attention (And dates).
--- 1.4 - Why is Quinn so desparate
to be on top ... of EVERYTHING?
See Below.
--- 1.4.1 - Is Quinn really trying to
steal Sandi's role in the Fashion Club?
Yes, she wants all the attention, all of the breaks, and no critizism whatsoever. She wants to literally
be a fashion dictator.
--- 1.4.2 - Why is Quinn obsessed with being popular?
See above.
--- 1.5 - Even though Quinn wears the same outfit, she buys
lots of clothes. What gives?
She's practicing to be a billionaire's wife by purposely
wasting her family's money. As soon as she's
able to legally travel by herself,
she's going to run off find and marry an elderly oil tycoon just to
inherit his/her (She'll go THAT
far) billions of dollars.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 2 - Sandi Griffin
--- 2.1 - Who is Sandi?
Sandi is the President of the most popular club in
Squad), the Fashion Club.
--- 2.2 - Why is Sandi the President of the Fashion Club?
She's so ..... ugly.
She sounds ugly too (But don't tell her I said that). But to
be honest, there was that little rule where
the founding member gets to lead,
and Sandi's been President since her Freshman year. Plus she's got
that scary tone in her voice that
keeps everyone in line.
--- 2.3 - What exactly is the Fashion Club oath?
"Help all people in need of an appealing
appearance"
--- 2.4 - Ok, now gimme the real
oath.
"Do whatever it takes to get all the attention"
--- 2.5 - What about this girl? Wasn't SHE in porn?
You'd think that, wouldn't you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 3 - Tiffany Blum-Deckler
--- 3.1 - Who is Tiffany?
Tiffany is the treasurer of the Fashion Club. She is also
identified as "That hot asian chick".
--- 3.2 - Is it just me, or is Tiffany playing both sides
between Quinn and Sandi?
Tiffany also wants control of the Fashion Club for the
attention it brings. Unfortunately, she doesn't
realize that even if the two
destroy each other, the club's popularity will die with Quinn.
--- 3.3 - Asian girls are hot, she HAD to have been in porn!
Yeah, she was. But I lost the URL to the site (Snicker). I'm
lying, of course, you fucking piece of
shit.
--- 3.4 - Why does Tiffany talk so slow?
Martians came and zapped her with a slow-motion ray. It
seems to have only affected her speaking.
Apparently, it all occured
sometime between episodes #104 (Cafe Disaffecto) and
#109 (Too Cute). It was
a slow and gradual process, and
now, it takes her a week to get out a sentence. The Martians plan on
extracting the larynx from their
"Guinea Pig" sometime in Season 6 to observe the results.
--- 3.5 - Does Tiffany wear underwear?
Nope, and she's made that QUITE clear on NUMEROUS occasions.
In fact, a friend of mine was fortunate
enough to take pictures. The
pictures were later put in an article of Penthouse magazine, and the
photographer disappeared without a
trace.
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--- 4 - Stacy Rowe
--- 4.1 - Who is Stacy?
Stacy is the timid one in the Fashion Club. A bootlicker, spineless, and totally gutless. The perfect
fashion drone.
--- 4.2 - Why is Stacy an instant conformist to the Fashion
Club?
Because she is intimidated by Sandi and Tiffany's stroke
around the school, and felt that, as the old
saying goes "If you can't beat
'em, join 'em". Of
course, this is just her cover. Stacy is Jane's mole
to secretly bring down the Fashion
Club from the inside, and to create "The Sick Sad Fashion World
Club".
--- 4.3 - Why does Stacy wear braided pigtails, isn't that
unfashionable?
Yes, and that's why she's being kept down to the bottom of
the pecking order.
--- 4.4 - Has the Fashion Club changed her life forever?
Yes, her entire life now revolves around the Fashion Club,
their needs, their wants, and their
preferences. Stacy never even
watches TV or listens to any music unless the Fashion Club likes it, too.
Stacy's parents are worried sick about her mental
well-being, and fear that this lifestyle may as well
destroy her.
--- 4.5 - Does Stacy wear underwear?
She used to, but being the copycat she is, she's following
Tiffany's example by not wearing underwear.
Recently, she, along with the rest of the club, changed her
outfit. Now she wears spandex shorts, but is
Stacy still going commando? The answer
is: Yes. She's grown to like "Being free".
========================================================================================================
Chapter 4 - The Big Fish (In a small pond)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 1 - Kevin Thompson
--- 1.1 - Who is Kevin?
Kevin is a High School Quarterback and an all-around
bonehead that is always getting some from his big-
titted
cheerleader girlfriend.
--- 1.2 - Was Kevin always the way he was?
You'd think right away that his "Damaged"
personality was caused by his aggressive football style, but
that's not the case. Believe it or
not, Kevin is adopted, and was originally raised in an orphanage
where he was constantly dropped on
his head by the nuns as punishment for not kissing up. The orphanage
was once reviewed by 60 Minutes.
--- 1.3 - Why does Kevin wear the shoulder pads 24/7?
He thinks that football games are subject to take place
anytime, and keeping the pads on 24/7 are his
way of "being prepared".
--- 1.4 - How can Kevin be so smart and still be so dumb?
After taking Kevin in for psychatric
evaluation, the doctor noticed a very noticable scar
on the back of
Kevin's neck. Now, I'm not the kind
of person to make bizarre theories .......... YES I
AM!!! Kevin was
a straight-A student until 1993
when he was abducted by aliens. They surgically removed a lot of his
brain tissue for their numerous
studies (i.e.: Their constant need to conduct anal probes), and
programmed a few thoughts about
football to cover everything up. Now all Kevin thinks is football.
--- 1.5 - Why is Kevin being treated like a god among the
students?
Because his followers all believe he can hook them up with
the other cheerleaders if they kiss up to him
enough.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 2 - Brittany Taylor
--- 2.1 - Who is
bonehead football quarterback
boyfriend. Both believe that Football players can only date cheerleaders
and vice-versa.
--- 2.2 - Was
Actually no.
straight-A student, until she
started dating Kevin (Who was abducted by aliens, as I stated above).
Kevin's "Overwhelming personality" somehow
gradually began to lower
--- 2.3 - Why does
Ms. Li demands whatever is necessary to boost the demand to
come to Lawndale High sporting events, so
detecting sensor. The second the
air around it becomes clean, it goes off, and
will become "Misplaced",
causing her GPA to drop.
--- 2.4 - How can
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................
--- 2.5 - Why is
Actually, the girls don't seem to like her as much as the
guys like Kevin. However, the guys tend to
hang around in the hopes that
them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 - Michael James Mackenzie
--- 3.1 - Who is Mike?
Even though Mike is the Captain of the Lawndale Lions
football team, he still ends up playing second
fiddle to Kevin. Mike is pretty
much one of the unsung heroes of the Lions. Mike is also Identified
as
"That black guy".
--- 3.2 - Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Isn't his name "Michael
Jordan Mackenzie"?
It was changed TO Michael Jordan Mackenzie. Apparently, his
jackass of a dad changed Mackenzie's middle
name so that he can retain some
kind of glory unto himself for having a son with the same name of a
major basketball player.
--- 3.3 - Why does everyone call him "Mack/Mack Daddy"
Because people seem to think that just because he's black,
he enjoys being called "Mack Daddy". This is
a rather lethal synopsis. Some
blacks HATE being called "Mack Daddy", and some will respond in kind.
It's just a wonder that Kevin hasn't gotten the crap beaten
out of him because of it (QB or not).
--- 3.4 - Does Mike has any clue
about how he'll get screwed in the end by the school?
Not really.
--- 3.4.1 - Quick Question: What's up with that (And why are
you mentioning this)?
The fans have a right to know. Only the QB gets to blunder
his way through life by playing football, and
not having to do any studying.
Mackenzie has no clue he will get the brush-off by the school when they
erase his grades. Apparently, in
this world, the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many. The
plan is to make Mackenzie go insane
and start a rampage, where Ms. Li can just blame it all on video
games and music. It cost three
human lives to bring you all this information.
--- 3.5 - Where exactly does the logical football player
come from?
Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh. You caid "Come". Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 4 - Jodie Landon
--- 4.1 - Who is Jodie?
Jodie is the politician of the students,
therefore her job is to suck the dicks of the people in charge
just to keep the image of school
spirit alive. Jodie is also identified as "That black chick"
--- 4.2 - Why are Jodie's parents forcing her to be
successful?
For their own personal gain. When
Jodie possibly gets some huge title like "U.S. Ambassador to New
friends that they're her parents.
--- 4.3 - Why is Jodie trying to maintain her moniker
"Queen of the Negroes?"
See above. The only difference is that Andrerw
& Michelle want their own Adolf Hitler to make
blacks
into "The Master Race". *
--- 4.4 - Why has Jodie established herself as a tweener with Daria and Brittany?
Because Jodie is learning from both intellectuals and
morally bankrupt, with a plan to teach grade
school kids to be both smart and
morally bankrupt (Basically to teach how to set up a porn website with
all of those popup windows that
never go away even after you go away). Rumor has it that Jodie is dating
Graham.
--- 4.5 - Give or take, Jodie's constant need to be on top
with all the school government jobs, her
constant demand to
please her unforgiving parents, when is Jodie going to go on her long-
awaited murderous
rampage?
Next Tuesday.
*: No, I am not a racist. I just feel that blacks are
portrayed in a brighter light than they really
are (For god's sakes, people, tell
the fucking truth).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 5 - Charles Ruttheimer III
(Upchuck)
--- 5.1 - Who is Charles?
Charles is something of a paradox. He's bright and
intelligent, but he is morally bankrupt: Constantly
drilling a hole into the girl's
locker room, and propositioning Daria and Jane every
chance he gets. But
there's a possibility that he just
hasn't .... you know ..... kissed
a girl, yet, when most people
nowdays
have actually done it by their Sophomore year. Horny or desperate, he's hated
by a lot of the
female gender in Lawndale High.
--- 5.2 - What exactly are the benefits of being Charles'
friend?
Access to every issue of "Jugs Illustrated", all
the hours of Monty Python you can imagine, and more
porn than the entire football,
basketball, and wrestling teams combined.
--- 5.3 - Other than the obvious, why do people hate
Charles'?
Red poodle-puff hair, nasty temper,
sniveling accent, and a suspiscious odor.
Enough said.
--- 5.4 - When and how did everyone decide to call everyone
"Upchuck"?
In 1997, Charles figured that he'd win the admiration of
every girl in school by streaking across the
gym during an assembly. Of course,
it backfired, and the recent contents in everyone's stomachs (Taken
in after the recent lunch period)
suddenly came out all at once. No girl ever forgot him since,
unfortunately, it didn't go as
planned.
--- 5.5 - Is Charles Ruttheimer
III anything like his father?
(I'll have to get back to you on that)
========================================================================================================
Chapter 5 - The Faculty
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 1 - Angela Li
--- 1.1 - Who is Ms. Li?
Angela Li is a woman of great speculation and controversey that reaches all the way to the Board of
Education itself. Ms. Li is the
principal of
Li embezzling school funds to buy unnecessary security
equipment that would make life for students more
and more aggrivating.
Because of this, more and more people are transferring to schools more
"simple".
--- 1.2 - Why is Ms. Li so desperate to establish a security
system that would rival
Like most schools today, Ms. Li wants to make her school as
strict as possible to avoid school violence.
Unfortunately, people fear that she is too strict, and she
has taken steps to keep them quiet. Now Ms.
Li feels that the parents must not ever know about her
methods of keeping the school safe, for the fear
that she may be "put out of
the temple", so to speak.
--- 1.3 - Early opinions stated that Ms. Li was somehow
connected with the Mob (Or at least the Yakuza),
does this opinion
hold any value today?
Slightly, but yes. Some people feel
that Li is building so many walls around the school so no one from
the outside would know what she's
doing to her students inside. Some think she's pimping the
cheerleaders and the "popular
girls" to various criminal syndicates, and having them make cover stories
about how painful it is to just be
attractive and popular. Others believe that Li is using some kind of
machine to erase all of the
willpower and spirit from an otherwise imaginative teenager, creating
another mindless and morally
bankrupt degenerate. The rest think that Li sits on a black pentagram with
candles every night and chants
satanic verses, praising the fallen god.
--- 1.4 - Why does Ms. Li have this hint of hatred for Daria?
Ms. Li fears that Daria may
possess enough of a conscience to destroy her.
--- 1.5 - What can be the most scariest
thing to think about Ms. Li?
"Angela Li defeats Helen Morgendorffer in the 2000
Presidential Election by a landslide" (Sorry
Michelle. :-) )
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 2 - Anthony Demartino
--- 2.1 - Who is Mr. Demartino?
Anthony Demartino is the most feared history teacher in the
state (Wherever that may be). Obviously,
he's pissed at the world for
getting stupider and stupider with each new class that comes in every year.
Mr. Demartino is literally a ticking time-bomb.
--- 2.2 - Where did Mr. Demartino's
trademark bulging eye come from?
Surprisingly, in 1992, Anthony screamed so loud at a student
for being so far-off from the proper answer
in class that he literally went
insane and started beating his bloodied head against the wall until he
was unconcsious.
He went on for thirty whole minutes doing so, and no one tried to help him,
despite the
fact that everyone heard him from
the neighboring classrooms. Anthony suffered a few concussions, and now
cannot go past a single sentence
without his right eye bulging out of proportion, and emphasizing on
needless words.
--- 2.3 - Why does Mr. Demartino emphasize on certain words
when he doesn't really need to?
See above
--- 2.4 - Why does Mr. Demartino despise Kevin so much?
Kevin is dumber than a doorknob, and he's still treated like
a king. You have to ask?
--- 2.5 - Was Demartino really a Vietnam War veteran?
Actually, no. Anthony was stationed
in
honor of serving his country
(Despite what those filthy retarded hippies said). Sadly, Anthony was
discharged a year after the war was
over, not able to see any action whatsoever. The whole injustice
left him bitter and jaded, and he's
been that way ever since.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 3 - Timothy O'Neill
--- 3.1 - Who is Mr. O'Neill?
Timothy O'Neill is somewhat of a modern-day hippie. He
believes in love, caring, and respect for all,
despite the fact that everyone
thinks he's a wuss.
--- 3.2 - Wow, this guy sounds like a real wuss.
That's right, let it out. O'Neill is a wuss.
Actually, Timmy just needs to spend a night in a bar and
get toasted. Nicely
toasted. Then the boy'll be just fine.
--- 3.3 - How does Mr. O'Neill manage to keep caring about
teaching with positive spunk, after so many
years of teaching to high-school students?
(I'll get back to you on that)
--- 3.4 - In all of O'Neill's adult life, has he EVER gotten
angry?
Once. Back in 1995, O'Neill was
suspended from teaching for punching Tommy Sherman in the face when he
made a crack about O'Neill's
sexuality. Then O'Neill slammed
him again, until Ms. Li came in to
announce a school function. Li did not want her star quarterback
getting hurt before the big game
later that evening, so O'Neill was suspended for three months. O'Neill
has never raised his fist (And
hardly his voice) at anyone again.
--- 3.5 - How has O'Neill's life changed after his sudden
involvement with Ms. Barch?
(I'll get back to you on that)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 4 - Janet Barch
--- 4.1 - Who is Ms. Barch?
Janet Barch is a jaded woman that
was dumped by her husband for a younger woman. People have speculated
that due to Janet's hatred of men
that she was a lesbian. In a way, she is. The second she decided on
focusing herself on Tim O'Neill she
stated that Tim was once a woman in a previous life.
--- 4.2 - Considering the reaction Ms. Barch
suffered when her husband left her, was she already
unstable
beforehand?
Actually, that's one of the reasons Mr. Barch
"disappeared". He was scared shitless of her strange
dialect she uttered in her sleep,
her constant urges to bring a cannon to the bowling alley, and the
crazy things she made out of clay.
--- 4.3 - Has anyone ever stood up to Ms. Barch's anti-male personality?
Many have done so, and no one has ever heard from them
again.
--- 4.4 - What does Ms. Barch see
in Mr. O'Neill?
She doesn't. She's luring O'Neill into a false sense of
security so that she can dump him the same way
her husband left her to teach man a
lesson (What that would be is anybody's guess.). O'Neill will then
turn bitter and angry, and then
finding some nice woman to mess with, thus repeating the cycle. This is
all part of Janet's nefarious plan
to create an entire race of anti-gender human demons, thereby causing
the human race to stop reproducing,
killing mankind and womankind alike.
--- 4.5 - To physically convince Demartino to change his
stance on the yearbook without outside help
must have took a
lot of muscle. How strong IS Ms. Barch?
Strong enough to crush you like a bug.
--- 4.6 - Can I shoot Ms. Barch?
You can try, and you will fail. Janet's been known to catch
bullets with her teeth and chew them into a
gooey lead paste.
========================================================================================================
Chapter 6 - The Rest
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 1 - Jake Morgendorffer
--- 1.1 - Who is Jake?
Jake Morgendorffer was a neglected youth that was shipped
off to military school as a 8-year-old kid
simply because he didn't live up to
his father's standards. He was abused, tortured, teased, and bullied
by the other cadets, all the way
into what would have been his High School Junior year. The whole ordeal
left Jake mentally incomplete (As
that's what military school is supposed to accomplish).
--- 1.2 - Why is Jake so childish?
See above.
--- 1.3 - Why is Jake so Violent?
See "Who is Jake?"
--- 1.4 - Why is Jake so oblivious?
He's not. Jake is only pretending to be oblivious due to the
fact that every time Jake tries to help,
his ideas are shot down by Helen.
Jake is wise not to dwell on this form of neglect as he did with his
Dad, so he just pretends not to notice anymore.
--- 1.5 - Why can't Jake just let go of his dad and move on
with his life?
See "Who is Jake?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 2 - Helen Morgendorffer
--- 2.1 - Who is Helen?
Helen Morgendorffer is an overly-aggressive lawyer that
literally dove into her work the second she
became a lawyer.
--- 2.2 - Why is Helen so tough to deal with?
(I'll get back to you on that)
--- 2.3 - Why is Helen anxious to get Daria
to do this, and to get her to do that every other week?
The obvious answer would probably be so that Daria would be pulled out of her "Depression".
The real
answer is so Daria
will be more like her (And hey, Daria's already
learned the fine art of negotiation,
a lawyer's best friend.).
--- 2.4 - Why is Helen a workaholic?
(I'll get back to you on that)
--- 2.5 - How did Helen make the Baby Boomer transistion from hippie to Mrs
Tough Lawyer?
Helen was approached by someone (No one knows who) back in
1971 that wanted her to play the part of a
lawyer on a TV show pilot. Helen
had no clue as to how to be a lawyer, so she looked over the lines
dozens of times, and then skimmed
through a book on lawyers. Eventually, she got the character down,
and played the part extremely well,
perhaps too well. Helen was so intrigued by the legal system that
she went to law school, and got her
law degree. By the time she became a full-fledged lawyer, Helen
was almost unrecogonizable
by her friends and Jake.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 3 - The Barksdale Family
--- 3.1 - Rita Barksdale
--- 3.1.1 - Who is Rita?
--- 3.1.2 - Why are Rita and Helen at each other's throats
and in each other's arms at the same time?
--- 3.2 - Amy Barksdale
--- 3.2.1 - Who is Amy?
--- 3.2.2 - Are Amy and Daria exactly alike in about every way?
--- 3.2.3 - What's Amy's favorite food?
--- 3.2.4 - When did Amy become Daria's
role-model?
--- 3.2.5 - What does Amy DO, exactly?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 4 - The Lane Family
---
--- 4.1.1 - Who is Vince?
--- 4.1.2 - Has Vince ever spent any of his time with the
kids?
---
--- 4.2.1 - Who is Amanda?
--- 4.2.2 - How did Amanda manage to raise all five kids
without just taking off?
--- 4.3 - Wind Lane
--- 4.3.1 - Who is Wind?
--- 4.3.2 - Has Wind ever considered suicide?
---
--- 4.4.1 - Who is Penny?
--- 4.4.2 - Why did Penny move to
--- 4.5 - Summer Lane
--- 4.5.1 - Who is Summer?
--- 4.5.2 - Why can't Summer keep
her kids from running away?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 5 - Mystik Spiral
--- 5.1 - What is Mystik Spiral?
--- 5.2 - What music genre is Mystik
Spiral?
--- 5.3 - How many songs have they made?
--- 5.4 - The Band Members
--- 5.4.1 -
Lead Guitar (Vocals).
--- 5.4.2 - Jesse Moreno
Rhythm Guitar (Vocals).
--- 5.4.3 - Nick Campbell
Bass Player.
--- 5.4.4 - Max Tyler
Drummer.
--- 5.5 - We all know Mystik
Spiral has completed a vinyl single with "Icebox Woman" and
"Behind My
Eyelids", but has it made any profit?
Hell no.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 6 - Why aren't you covering the rest?
Budget cuts.
========================================================================================================
Chapter 7 - The Andrea Anomaly
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 1 - Andrea who?
--- 1.1 - Who is Andrea?
Andrea is a girl in most of Daria's
classes. If people are in fact looking for her, she will be noticed
quite easily. She is usually
identified by most fans as "That goth girl"
--- 1.2 - And why haven't we seen Andrea in any episodes?
Actually, we have. Only no one really notices her as she's
usually in the background while an impact
player is speaking or doing
something (See section 4).
--- 1.3 - What does Andrea look like?
Long, black-batlike skirt, black
high-heeled boots, dark-gray shirt with black necklace (Possibly a
skull), elbow-length fishnet glove
on right hand, short-black hair, black mascara, and black lipstick.
Somewhat overweight, but then, maybe her shirt's just in a
larger size.
--- 1.4 - Is Andrea a cast member's friend or something?
Nope.
--- 1.5 - Has Andrea had any speaking roles?
Yes, seven. (See section 4: Andrea's On-Screen appearances)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 2 - A cult of Anti-Personality
--- 2.1 - Why does everyone like Andrea?
Because she looks cool, and she's always
there.
--- 2.2 - What's with Andrea's outfit?
Obviously, when you're a serious thinker, you don't care how
you dress.
--- 2.3 - What's with the whole Goth getup?
She just felt like dressing like it one day, and kept doing
it ever since. She's not exacty a goth, she
just likes dressing up. She started
listening to Goth rock later on.
--- 2.4 - Does Andrea worship Satan?
Nope. Only an idiot would, and Andrea doesn't exactly look
like an idiot.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 3 - Andrea's life (Or lack of)
--- 3.1 - Where does Andrea live?
Andrea lives across the street from
--- 3.2 - Describe an ordinary day in Andrea's life
(Excluding school).
(I'll get back to you on that)
--- 3.3 - Does Andrea have ..... somebody?
Yes. Like Daria, Andrea is
infatuated with a musician. He's the lead guitar in a Heavy Goth band "X-
Vampires" (The gothic version of the
X-Men).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 4 - Andrea's On-Camera Appearances
(Alter-Egos in the credits don't count, By the way)
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
--- 4.1 - Season One
--- 4.1.1 - Esteemsters
Segment 1: Andrea is in the front row in Demartino's
class to Daria's left.
Segment 3: Andrea is in the applauding crowd when O'Neill
announces Daria's name.
--- 4.1.2 - The Invitation
Andrea is not in this episode (Oh gosh, dern,
and damn!).
--- 4.1.3 - College Bored
Andrea is not in this episode either.
--- 4.1.4 - Cafe Disaffecto
Segment 3: Andrea gets to read a poem onstage in the
coffeehouse.
--- 4.1.5 - Malled
--- 4.1.6 - This Year's Model
Segment 3: Andrea is in the third row when General BuckConroy addresses the assembly.
--- 4.1.7 - The Lab Brat
Segment 1: Andrea is in the back of Ms. Barch's
Class, behind Mackenzie (Who is behind Daria and
Jodie).
Segment 3: Andrea is behind Ms. Barch
(You can see a glimpse of her at the beginning of Daria's
presentation).
--- 4.1.8 - Pinch Sitter
Segment 1: Andrea is sitting in front of Kevin in Demartino's class.
--- 4.1.9 - Too Cute
Segment 3: Quinn's asking Andrea to sign
her petition to get plastic surgery for free. (Andrea's 2nd
speaking role)
--- 4.1.10 - The Big House
Segment 3: After Demartino is hit by Rock 'n' Roll Randy in
the knee, making him fall, Andrea cheers
"YES!" (Andrea's 3rd speaking
role)
--- 4.1.11 - The Road Worrier
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.1.12 - The Teachings of Don Jake
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.1.13 - The Misery Chick
Segment 3: Andrea is sitting in front of Daria
in O'Neill's class.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
--- 4.2 - Season Two
--- 4.2.1 - Arts & Crass
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.2.2 - The Daria Hunter
Segment 1: Andrea is sitting behind Kevin in Demartino's class (Andrea even glances at us, the viewers,
when Kevin
mentions his Dad's a contractor).
--- 4.2.3 - Quinn the Brain
Segment 2: Andrea can be seen behind Quinn in the three-shot
in the Cafeteria.
--- 4.2.4 - I Don't
Segment 2: During the Bridal Fashion Show, Andrea is sitting
two seats down from Mackenzie's left.
--- 4.2.5 - That Was Then, This is Dumb
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.2.6 - Monster
Segment 1: Andrea is at the front of the lineup to get into
the theater.
--- 4.2.7 - The New Kid
Segment 1: Andrea walks behind Daria
and disappears (Sorceress, perhaps?).
Segment 1: Andrea is at the table in front of Demartino's Yearbook class, facing away.
Segment 2: Andrea has her back turned in the last scene of
the Fashion Club Cafeteria meeting.
--- 4.2.8 - Gifted
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.2.9 -
Segment 1: Thinner version of Andrea can be spotted while Daria is walking towards the restroom (Sister,
perhaps?).
Segment 1: Original Andrea can be spotted for a split-second
on the far-left while Daria is escaping the
restroom.
--- 4.2.10 - Fair Enough
Segment 2: After Daria and Quinn
split from their parents, Andrea walks behind them from right to left,
just before Linda Griffin pops up to meet Helen and Jake.
Segment 2: Upchuck asks Andrea to listen to his minstrel
(Off-camera, but she tells him to fuck off, but
not in those
words {It's cable, duh.}. Andrea's 4th speaking role).
Segment 2: During the dunking of Mrs
Bennett, Andrea can be seen in the background far behind Sandi's
little brothers.
Segment 2: When Daria and Jane
walk up to Jodie's "Desk", Andrea can be seen ordering something from
a
stand behind
them, then walking off.
Segment 2: When Daria and Jane
ponder going on the ferris
wheel, during the shot of Upchuck's approching
the two, Andrea
can be seen in the upper-left corner. (Then after they get into a seat,
Andrea can be seen approaching Ms. Barch's fortune-telling booth)
--- 4.2.11 - See Jane Run
Segment 1: Andrea is sitting down on the left end of the gym
mat.
Segment 2: After Jane leaves Daria
in the hallway, Daria starts to mumble to herself.
Andrea happens to
be there while
she's there and goes "Do you mind? This is a private conversation."
Segment 3: Andrea is next to
--- 4.2.12 - Pierce Me
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.2.13 - Write Where it Hurts
Andrea is not in this episode.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
--- 4.3 - Season Three
--- 4.3.1 - Daria!
Segemnt 3: Final scene,
group-shot, Andrea can be seen in the upper-right hand corner with orange hair
and a white shirt (An obvious screwup
in the animation department).
--- 4.3.2 - Through a Lens Darkly
Segment 2: Andrea is sitting in front of Daria
in Mr. O'Neill's class.
Segment 3: Daria walks without her
contacts in the hallway and bumps into Andrea by accident. "Hey,
watch
it!"(Andrea's 5th speaking role)
--- 4.3.3 - The Old and the Beautiful
Segment 1: Andrea is sitting in front of Jane in Demartino's class.
--- 4.3.4 - Depth Takes a
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.3.5 - Daria Dance Party
Segment 1: Andrea can be spotted behind
Segment 2: Andrea is in the Pizza King with Brittany and
Jodie, walking by them. (Andrea's 6th speaking
role)
--- 4.3.6 - The Lost Girls
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.3.7 - It Happened One Nut
Segment 1: Andrea is sitting in front of
--- 4.3.8 - Lane Miserables
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.3.9 - Jake of Hearts
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.3.10 - Speedtrapped
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.3.11 - The
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.3.12 - Just Add Water
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.3.13 - Jane's Addition
Segment 1: (Debatable) Andrea is on the far left of
O'Neill's class.
Segment 1: "Andrea's Sister" can be seen next to
Tom when he's first spotted.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
--- 4.4 - Season Four
--- 4.4.1 - Partner's Complaint
Segment 1: After Mrs. Bennett's bell rings, Andrea can be
seen walking behind Daria and Jane.
--- 4.4.2 - Antisocial Climbers
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.4.3 - A Tree Grows in
Segment 1: In the large shot of Mr. O'Neil's class, Andrea
is sitting behind Daria, but then disappears
(Again with the
sorceress act).
Segment 3: Andrea is sitting beside Jane in Mr. Demartino's class.
--- 4.4.4 - Murder She Snored
Segment 1: Andrea is sitting behind Kevin in Mr. Demartino's class.
Segment 2: Andrea is shaving Upchuck's
leg. (Yes, it seems gross)
Segment 2: Andrea is in the funeral crowd, behind the two
Asian students.
Segment 3: Andrea is sitting in front of Daria
in Mr. Demartino's class.
--- 4.4.5 - The 'F' Word
Segment 1: Andrea is the first to leave Mr. O'Neil's class.
Segment 3: Andrea is sitting behind Kevin in Mr. O'Neil's class, she's also drawing a picture of herself
in a coffin.
Segment 3: While Mr. O'Neill announces he's quitting
teaching, Andrea is still sitting behind Kevin.
--- 4.4.6 - I Loathe a Parade
Segment 1: "Andrea's Sister"
standing next to Ms. Li.
--- 4.4.7 - Of Human Bonding
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.4.8 - Psycho Therapy
Andrea is not in this episode.
--- 4.4.9 - Mart of Darkness
For once, Andrea has an important role in an Episode. Andrea
is the elusive stock girl in the warehouse.
--- 4.4.10 - Legends of the Mall
Segment 1:
Segment 2:
Segment 3:
--- 4.4.11 - Groped by an Angel
Segment 1:
Segment 2:
Segment 3:
--- 4.4.12 - Fire! Fire!
Segment 1:
Segment 2:
Segment 3:
--- 4.4.13 - "Dye! Dye! My
Darling!
Segment 3: After Daria confesses
her sin to Jane, Andrea can be seen behind Daria.
--- 4.5.0 - Is it Fall Yet?
1st Half:
2nd Half:
{The episodes with blank spaces will be added {Along with
everything else that wasn't added} in the next
revision of the FUQ.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 5 - Andrea's History
--- 5.1 - When did Andrea start getting into the whole
"Gothic" atmosphere?
(I'll get back to you on that)
--- 5.2 - Was Andrea considered "nerdy" in school?
Actually, yeah. Andrea was once a
member of the Chess Club in Junior High.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 6 - Andrea's Future
--- 6.1 - Will Andrea ever get her time in the spotlight?
Yes, after Daria and Jane head off
to College, Quinn makes a new best friend after being kicked out of
the Fashion Club. Andrea and Quinn
discovered that they have some things in common and become known as
the next Daria
& Jane. (Set to air in 2002)
--- 6.2 - Will we see Andrea without her makeup and Goth
Garb?
Since we never see Andrea very much in the show, it's
doubtful we'll see her looking "
--- 6.3 - Will Andrea get her own show?
Yup, as "Daria" spun-off
from "Beavis & Butt-Head", Andrea will get her own show sometime
in the year
2003 (Provided that "Daria" lasts that long).
========================================================================================================
Chapter 8 - Who are these guys, really?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 1 - Huh?
Believe it or not, these people actually have lives outside
of the show. And I might add, they're quite
different fron
their on-stage personas.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 2 - What are these people REALLY like?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.1 - Daria Morgan
2.1.1 - Stats
Stage Name: Daria Morgendorffer
Aliases: The
Misery Chick, Diarrhea-cha-cha-cha, "You know, that girl....."
Age: 19
Criminal
Record: Rumored to be a drug-dealer, jaywalking, assault & battery (On four
ocasions).
Turn-Ons: People that don't judge other people, regardless.
Turn Offs:
Everything else.
Salary: $3,000
a week
Measurements: 28-20-22 (I've been doing a
little concealin')
Favorite Color:
Black
Last Read Book:
"Life in Hell"
Last Written
Book: "How to Invade a Small Country"
Favorite TV
Show: "WWF Raw"
Favorite Movie:
"Cannibal!: The Musical"
Favorite
Celebrity: Godzilla (When people gives him shit, he eats them)
Dreams or
Goals: To get up one morning and not have to put up with other people's shallow
problems.
When I get Mad:
I shoot a stagehand in the nuts.
Philosophy:
"Humans suck."
Accomplishments: Ummm, I got my own show.
What Shames Me:
Ummm, I got my own show.
Favorite Quote:
None, I prefer silence.
On Dates I like
to: Scare the poor sap with prophecies of Satan returning to Earth. If the guy
doesn't run away,
then he is truly mine.
REAL Bio: Daria Morgan has been a TV Extra, a TV Star, a Professional
Wrestler, a Starship
Captain, and a replacement co-host for "Regis &
Kathie Lee". The lady has truly done it
all. Unfortunately, she pushed herself too hard over a few
weeks in shooting an episode
and actually believed herself to be Daria
Morgendorffer, creating somewhat of an
amnesia case. A little bit of her memory was restored, but
her parents never told her
that she was a
drug dealer on the side (In the hopes that she won't do it anymore).
Additional
Comments: We may have found our holy savior (Seconds after this quote was said,
the
man was shot).
2.1.2 - Other feats
Besides
being able to pirate her own cable, Daria is also a
natural at games of CD Frizbee.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.2 - Amy Morgan
2.2.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aunt Amy
Aliases:
Airline Amy (Inspired a song for Weird Al)
Age: 42
Criminal
Record: Assaulted a cop during
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary: $500 per-appearance
Measurements:
23-21-22
Favorite Color:
Black
Last Read Book:
Harry Potter (I forgot the name).
Last Written
Book: "Harry Potter Goes to Hell"
Favorite TV
Show: MTV's "Daria" (I like my daughter's
work)
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals: Basically to make sure that my daughter has dropped her old drug dealing
habit.
When I get Mad:
I just punch my Jakie in the stomach (He seems to
enjoy it).
Philosophy: People that feel they have to
pass judgement just to prove the volume of their
genitals should be
shot execution-style.
Accomplishments: The fact that we (Jakie and
I) raised a wonderful girl to be one of good sound
and judgement.
What Shames Me:
The fact that our wonderful girl was once a drug-dealer for most of the cast of
her show (And the
fact that the story was broadcast on "60 Minutes").
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: Basically, a traditional mother that anyone can be proud of.
2.2.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.3 - Jake Morgan
2.3.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Jake Morgendoeffer
Aliases: N/A
Age: 45
Criminal
Record: One speeding ticket. (Not much of a record)
Turn-Ons: Vanilla ice cream (plain, like him), Amy (Duh),
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book: "Why Does My Wife Beat Me?"
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.3.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.4.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases: None
Age: 24
Criminal
Record: Noise Pollution violation, was forced to listen to Method Man, Onyx, Busta
Rhymes, and Coolio for two hours as court-ordered sentence.
Turn-Ons: Open-minds, sense of humor, and most of all, his wife
Jane (In real life, they're not
blood-related, and
happily married).
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.4.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.5.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases: Miss
Vulture,
Age: 22
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
20-19-20
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: A looney beatnik
2.5.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.6 - Quinn
2.6.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Quinn Morgendorffer
Aliases:
Age: 19
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary: $1,500
a week (Plus other benefits)
Measurements:
22-19-20
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
(See Chapter 1, Section 6)
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.6.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.7 - Sandi Griffin
2.7.1 - Stats
Stage Name: N/A
Aliases:
Age: 19
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary: $1,500
a week (Plus other benefits)
Measurements:
22-19-20
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.7.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.8 - Helen Griffin
2.8.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Helen Morgendorffer
Aliases:
Age: 46
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
26-20-22
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: Linda's lesbian lover
2.8.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.9 - Linda Griffin
2.9.1 - Stats
Stage Name: N/A
Aliases:
Age: 46 1/4
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
24-20-21
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: Helen's lesbian lover
2.9.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.10 - Kevin Thompson
2.10.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 18
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.10.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.11 - Britney Spears
2.11.1 - Stats
Stage Name: Ummmm.......
Aliases:
Brittany Taylor
Age: 19
Criminal
Record: Assault and Battery toward co-worker Kevin Thompson.
Turn-Ons: Money by the truckload, and myself when I look into
the mirror at my perfect lovely
self.
Turn Offs: The fact that people still say my breasts are fake (Even
though they are, but that's
no excuse, it's still mean!).
Salary:
$100,000-per-appearance.
Measurements:
23-19-21
Favorite Color:
Green (As in money)
Last Read Book: "One Fish, Two Fish, Red
Fish, Blue Fish"
Last Written
Book: "CAT" (That was the entire book, BTW)
Favorite TV
Show: MTV's Fanatic (More specifically, her appearance)
Favorite Movie:
I don't watch movies unless I'm in them.
Favorite
Celebrity: Myself.
Dreams or
Goals: To someday clone myself so I can make love to my own perfect body. ME!
ME! OH
WONDERFUL
ME!
When I get Mad:
I draw a random name from a list of websites that hate me and have that
person's
internet account
revoked.
Philosophy: I
am wonderful and beautifl, and everyone else is
filthy, so nyah!
Accomplishments: Duhhhh!
What Shames Me:
The fact that women are jealous of my instant superstardom.
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: I don't go on dates. I'd rather just lock all the doors, stare at a poster
of
myself, and mastub.... HEY! WHAT ARE YOU WRITING??! THIS INTERVIEW'S
OVER!!!
GUARDS!!!
REAL Bio:
Britney Spears is a totally self-involved narcissict
that became popular by stealing
her dad's credit
card and sneaking a breast augmentation while her parents were away on
vacation. The
rest is history.
Additional
Comments: Do not hesitate to shoot this weirdo between her eyes.
2.11.2 - Other feats
Britney has
discovered that her silicone breasts are so hard that she could balance a knife
on the
tip without any pain.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.12 - Mike Mackenzie
2.12.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 20
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: Wannabe Gangsta Rapper
2.12.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.13 - Jodie Houston
2.13.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Jodie Landon
Aliases:
Age: 18
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
22-19-20
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.13.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.14 - Anthony Demartino
2.14.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 53
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.14.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.15 - Janet Demartino
2.15.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 48
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
25-21-22
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: A kickboxer
2.15.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.16 - Angela Li
2.16.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 54
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
23-21-22
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.16.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.17 - Tiffany Li
2.17.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 19
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary: $1,000
a week (Plus other benefits)
Measurements:
23-19-20
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: A real fashion whacko
2.17.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.18 - Timmy Rockford
2.18.1 - Stats
Stage Name: Mr.
Tim O'Neill
Aliases:
Age: 32
Criminal Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.18.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.19 - Charles Rockford
2.19.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Charles Ruttheimer III
Aliases:
Age: 20
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.19.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.20 - Andrea Wesker
2.20.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Andrea
Aliases:
Age: 21
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
24-21-22
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.20.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.21 - Jamie Black
2.21.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 19
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.21.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.22 - Claire Black
2.22.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 29
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
24-22-22
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to: N/A
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: A stripper
2.22.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.23 - Joey Harris
2.23.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 21
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.23.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.24 - Jeffy Harris
2.24.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 20
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or
Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments:
2.24.2 - Other feats
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.25 - Stacy Rowe
2.25.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Stacy
Aliases: Stacy
the Impaler, Sycho Stacy, Uberbitch, Dream Girl (called at a biker bar)
Age: 19
Criminal
Record: Stacy has violent outbursts whenever she doesn't get her fill of
NRS199, an
experimental drug used as an advanced version of Prozac.
Unfortunately, it's a
felony to
possess it in
a mental institution at least seven times, and was released
to the care of MTV
on the fact that the ward couldn't afford to put Stacy on
NRS199 for the rest of
her life.
Turn-Ons: Peeling the skin off a
egotistical bitch.
Turn Offs:
People that think they know everything when they really don't know jack shit.
Salary: (No
known salary as of yet, all of her paychecks currently go to pay for all the
damage
she's done from the
point she was unexpectedly cut off from her daily NRS199 doses.)
Measurements:
(Anyone that's come close to try to measure Stacy has left on hospital
stretchers.)
Favorite Color: Black
Last Read Book:
(She was last seen at a grocery store laughing uncontrollably at a Tiger Beat
magazine.)
Last Written
Book: "1,001 Ways to Skin a Tramp"
Favorite TV
Show: "Toughman" (Seen on FX)
Favorite Movie: "Fight Club"
Favorite
Celebrity: OJ Simpson
Dreams or
Goals: To live in a city where nothing pisses me off.
When I get Mad:
I snap an anorexic whore like a twig.
Philosophy: Men
aren't the only ones that some choose to be stupid morons, women choose to be
idiots and
self-righteous as well, and must be destroyed one-at-a-time.
Accomplishments: I knocked out Tank Abbott in broad daylight after that dumbass prick called me a
whore.
What Shames Me:
I'm on a stupid fag show that only two or three losers watch.
Favorite Quote:
"One who is without sin cast the first stone."
On Dates I like
to: There never is a date, I just shove the guy in the car and get down to
business. Dinner
and movies only waste my time.
REAL Bio: Stacy
has learned to survive in a crowd of self-absorbent kids for 12 years by
fighting,
nonstop. Stacy, always the most different in a crowd, was constantly taunted
and teased by
neighborhood and school bullies, male and female. Stacy has always
responded in kind
with the kind of killer instinct that would make a drill sergant
blush.
Unfortunately, they kept coming back (Sometimes together), all under the
impression that
they could take her in a fight. When Stacy Rowe left her childhood
neighborhood for
door-to-door
greeting by Kato Kaelin. Stacy was frustrated, and
then furious. She
eventually
started buying NRS199 from the black market to keep herself from exploding.
Eventually, her drug supply ran dry and
she eventually got thrown in solitary
confinement for
brutally assaulting five people in a diner and three cellmates. Stacy
was later
transferred to a Mental Ward after she was diagnosed as legally insane.
Additional
Comments: Stacy is somewhat of a tomboy, always hanging out in biker bars,
redneck
bars, strip clubs,
simply to pick fights with whoever she feels needs their
teeth kicked down
their throats. She's been known to scare cast members with
her glare alone
(Even Daria gets a chill down her spine in her
presence.).
2.25.2 - Other feats
Besides
being somewhat of a pit-fighter, Stacy is a whiz at sewing. She literally made
her own
leather jacket (With custom metal shoulderplates
and spikes) and black rubber pants (With shiny
knee-high-heeled boots). She wanted to show off her own
brand of fashion: Don't take shit from no
one.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.26 - Diane Benett
2.26.1 - Stats
Stage Name:
Aliases:
Age: 33
Criminal
Record:
Turn-Ons:
Turn Offs:
Salary:
Measurements:
26-23-24
Favorite Color:
Last Read Book:
Last Written
Book:
Favorite TV
Show:
Favorite Movie:
Favorite
Celebrity:
Dreams or Goals:
When I get Mad:
Philosophy:
Accomplishments:
What Shames Me:
Favorite Quote:
On Dates I like
to:
REAL Bio:
Additional
Comments: A suck-up intern that was lucky to get a part in the show
2.26.2 - Other feats
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 3 - How is it possible to come up with this stuff?
You have to have the love to be different, to stand out
without even trying. Or if that's too much to
do, then just sit in #Daria+ when
an Iron Chef episode airs for about three hours, and you'll be in the
mood to rip out the hearts of total
strangers.
========================================================================================================
Chapter 9 - Unbelievable
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--- 1 - Overheard during episode shootings
--- 1.1 - Actual comments
These are comments overheard by cast members, production
staff, interns, boom-mic operators, janitors,
sound engineers, and assistants to
cast members, while on and around the set of MTV's Daria.
"Is it just me, or are
"I really don't know why they call the show 'Daria'. I mean, I'm the star."
"I could SWEAR Daria's
related to Janeane Garafolo!"
--- 1.2 - Rumors
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 2 - Alternate ideas for the Pilot that were never used
Believe it or not, MTV had thought of several ideas for the
pilot, but they all chose the one that can
be seen on the Daria
video. Here are the pilots that you DIDN'T see:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
--- 2.1 - Daria: Teen Radio DJ
Daria Morgan (Short, hip name), a
hit radio DJ has just gotten through with a block of hard rock tunes.
She begins a segment of her show called "In Your
Face", where Daria confronts the local issues
and
verbally crucifies the mayor of
Daria is greeted by her stage
manager, Tim O'Neill, to pair her with a
named
Daria's brutal honesty and Jane's
care-free comical attitude were an instant hit.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
--- 2.2 - The U.S.S. Starship
Captain Daria Morgendorffer of the
U.S.S. Lawndale take off on their maiden voyage past
the Sol Asteroid
Belt, passing Pluto, when they picked up
an unusual object in front of them. Suddenly, an omnipotent
being named "R" appears
on the bridge telling Captain Daria to either return
to "Thy known space" or to
sleep with him. When Daria refuses, he simply goes "Rrrrrrr,
feisty!". Then he sends the
yight
years away from their position to introduce them to a great enemy to all. A
giant pink tube
appears out of nowhere with a
constant transmission of thousands of female voices speaking at once: "We
are the FOrg,
your culture and technology will be added to our own, plus we will make you
look halfway
decent." (FOrg
is short for Fashion Organization). The
large tube of lipstick) engage in
battle for hours, a few of the crew were "Fashionated",
until finally
"R" shifts the
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
--- 2.3 - Daria: Punk Rocker
Daria is the Lead singer in a riot
grrl band with Jane, Andrea, Quinn, and Sandi. The group have all
been friends for years, they all get along together as well,
and then right out of the blue, Quinn
suddenly decides to go solo. Quinn
manages to get a record contract with Megaforce
Records and her first
album "Me, Me, & Me
Again" went gold in a matter of weeks after her soon-to-be award-winning
video
aired on MTV. Meanwhile, Daria, Jane, Andrea, and Sandi are struggling to find gigs.
Jane, despite
Sandi's hopes to keep it an all-girl band, talks
replacement can be found. So far,
========================================================================================================
Chapter 10 - Acknowledgements (aka:
The serious stuff)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 1 - URLs
http://www.mtv.com/mtv/tubescan/animation/daria/
- The
Official webpage of MTV's Daria. Download
screensavers, tour through
exclusive clips, and win prizes.
http://www.outpost-daria.com
- Outpost Daria. One of the leading resources for Daria
fan art, fanfiction, and information.
http://www.chickpages.com/bookworms/dariaxmas/index.html
- Christmas
has come early this year. Check out this funny comic from Melissa Winters.
http://dariapics.tripod.com/webring/
- The Daria fan art webring. This is a
great place to check out up-and-coming artistic talent from
gifted Daria fans.
http://www.wvinter.net/~cws/daria.html
- The East
Wing of the Slaughterhouse Compound Website (Otherwise known as the Daria Wing).
Contains
the Daria Sounds Archive (The other half of the
leading provider in Daria sounds), the
Lawndale
High Wrestling Federation (The only one of its kind), the upcoming Children of
Lawndale
Project (Still in development, so no pictures yet), and the Other Daria Webring.
http://www.insidetheweb.com/messageboard/mbs.cgi/mb7921
- Helpful
Corn Message Board. Provided to us by good-old
Inside-The-Web. A good place to hang out.
Most of the
Daria Community veterans hang out at Helpful Corn.
http://www.juicycerebellum.com
- Cynicism
at its deadliest. The Juicy Cerebellum is a kickass
humor site that is GUARANTEED to
make you laugh (If not, then check your pulse, you may be
dead).
http://www.fitshaced.com/
- Almost
the same as above, but their humor is totally in-your-face, they don't take
shit from
anyone, and I must admit, it's not for everyone. Currently under hiatus.
http://www.shownomercy.com/
- I refer
to this site as an alternative to Sick Sad World, only this is real, and it's
never
pretty (In fact, it's rather gruesome). I advise strong
caution when viewing this site (You just
might lose your lunch, and everything else).
http://www.vintagegaming.com/
- Dave's
Video Game Classics. A good place to see independant
game designers showcase their works,
and to catch up on the latest in console emulation. (Daria DOES play video games, and chances are,
she goes to a place like this at least once a month or so.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 2 - Unofficial Daria chatrooms
Fire up your IRC client program (mIRC,
IRCle, PIRCH, Microsoft Chat, etc) and log on to the
server of
your choosing, and the channel of
your choosing.
irc.dal.net (Get a list of servers from Http://www.dal.net)
#Daria+ - The
one that started it all. #Daria+ was
originally founded by yours truly in 1998 when
assholes decided to lock everyone
out and maintain a lock by using 24-hour connections (Therefore no one
got in). Even though the age of DALnet's #Daria+ has somewhat
passed, the room is still available for
chat nights.
#Daria - Sometimes originality
helps. Currently unregistered (Dibs, anyone?).
irc.sorcery.net (Port 9000)
#Daria+ - The chatroom of the popular. People decided to move here
because it's more quieter than
DALnet, and there's less risk of a
netsplit between servers (Although that's a lie. Netsplitting is a
universal thing and therefore
cannot be escaped).
#
can see the new episode at once).
People are free to discuss the new episode without fear of spoilers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 3 - Credits
Giving credit where credit is due.
William Fowler (SickSadGuy) -
"Overheard Backstage"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--- 4 - One final note
If you've managed to read through this entire FUQ without
putting a fist through the wall, then you are
a definite anti-shipper (Don't let
the hardcore fans judge you just because you're different) and a real
human being with independant thoughts (Don't let "Normal people"
judge you because you have feelings).
People will do anything to put down an anti-shipper by using
whatever excuses in the back of their mind,
like "Oh, well, he's just a sucky writer", or "He's just jealous because Daria's supposed to be
sophisticated" (Sophisticated,
yes, but people forget about the comedy).
I'm not too keen on people that say that Daria
SHOULD be like this or it's SUPPOSED to be like that.
I
REALLY don't want to repeat the speech at the end of
"Untitled-2" (Which was the building blocks for
this FUQ). If people say that some
TV show/movie/story sucks or is terrible, well, no one was forcing
you to read it or see it. In fact I
gave several warnings already that this is nothing like the stuff
you normally read. Next person I
hear shouting "Blaspheme" is getting their black heart yanked out with
a pair of scissors.
We anti-shippers are here because we just want to have fun
with the way the characters are. We're not
here to overall bash the characters
or other fans just because we think differently than hardcore and
ordinary fans.
If you would like to contribute to the Daria
FUQ (Additional unasked questions with insane answers,
overheard on the Daria set, rumors about the cast, & Daria
pilots that didn't quite make it), send them
to cws@wvinter.net . If it's funny
enough, messed up enough, or totally fucked up enough, it'll make it
into the next update.
As for hatemail, feel free to send
them to the same address as well. If it's funny enough, I will print
it out on paper and frame it on my
wall, where I will look at it every morning and laugh uncontrollibly.
In the meantime, enjoy the show for the way it is. Don't try
to change it or screw with something great.
You never really get to appreciate something good until it's
gone and erased from history forever.
See you on Christmas Eve.