The Unofficial Daria Movie Rumor Page

Brought to you by Aaron Solomon "Nails" (ben Saul Joseph) Adelman and Barry "Iguanaman" Adelman

Last updated:  12/31/01


In the summer of 1999, two people asked the question "What would happen if Hollywood's most hated director met MTV's best cartoon?"  This is the answer.

*Current rumors*2000 Rumors*1998-1999 Rumors*Links*FAQ*
Daria (the movie):*Script, part 1*Script, part 2*Lyrics*Pictures*Reviews*Commercial*
Behind the Looking Glasses:*Script*
Daria 2:  The Curse of the Misery Chick:*Script, part 1*Credits*Script, part 2*Pictures*Reviews*Commercial*
And just so you know we're not making all this stuff up:  Entertainment News and Gossip
*12/31/01:  We apologize for the delay since the last update.  In the wake of the events of September 11th, we found ourselved caught up in other activities and have only recently been able to get back to updating the page.  We would like to express our sympathies for those who have suffered that day.

September 11th also had a deleterious effect on the production of Daria & Jane.  The day of the attacks, production shut down with the rest of the country.  That day and the days immediately following many in Hollywood scrambled to deal with the situation.  Many films which figured the World Trade Center, such as Spider-Man and Men in Black 2, were set to be modified.  Others with themes that were considered uncomfortable at the time, such as The Last Castle, had their release dates delayed.  Daria & Jane, with its megalomaniac out to take over the world and its setting in New York, was uncomfortable enough at the time, and with the production already something of a nightmare, within days of the attack it was decided to cancel the production.
Many were overjoyed by the end of the series, particularly the Cinematic Afficionados National Antridegradation Association (CANADA) and Charlton Heston.  Heston, who became upset by the presense of Sarah Polley on the production, in early September was making considerable noise about her.  Few people will forget his appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien where he denounced Polley not only as a socialist and for her protesting activities, but also for her movies.  He seemed particularly upset about The Sweet Hereafter, in which she played a teenager who was committing incest with her father but regarding which the film did nothing to condemn.  Following the tirades, Blockbuster reported an increase in rentals of The Sweet Hereafter, Exotica, The Claim, and Guinevere.

So what?  Every day there's someone somehwere who's angry at me.
--Sarah Polley, commenting on Charlton Heston's remarks about her

Having one of those reds in a position to influence our children is unthinkable.
--Charlton Heston

Isn't red one of the colors of the American flag?
--Sarah Polley

Sarah Polley (left) and Jennifer Love Hewitt at an awards show
However, many were not as pleased by the cancellation, especially considering the time and investments they put into the film.  At an unofficial wrap party in early October, an upset Freddie Prinze, Jr. ("Skyler") complained at length (probably under the influence of alcohol) that he wanted the part because it was something of a departure from his usual work; later that night, someone egged Disney CEO Michael Eisner's house.  Most of the other attendees were not pleased either (save Christina Ricc ["Jane"] who was so happy that she was reportedly mistaken for being drunk without having any alcohol in her), though Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") seemed extremely down.  After being coached by Polley, most found Hewitt's acting considerably improved above her usual efforts.  ("The bimbo is dead," in Ricci's words.  Johnathan Taylor Thomas has been heard saying "Long live the pod!" referring to some calling her current incarnation "Jennifer Pod Hewitt.")  Fortunately for Hewitt, there is another project in her future in which she can show off her talents.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Still, you can say to yourself, "At least I wasn't some stupid, fawning girl who only said what she was supposed to say and dressed the way she was supposed to.  At least I didn't do that."
--Christina Ricci to Jennifer Love Hewitt regarding the latter's choice to try for the role of Molly Bean in The Guns of the South.

By now most of you not living in caves have heard of the fuss being made over one of Dreamworks's current projects in the works, The Guns of the South.  Based on the book by Harry Turtledove, the alternative-history thriller is premised around mysterious strangers supplying the Confederate States of America with AK-47s to change the outcome of the American Civil War. The film is supposed to contain graphic depictions of the horrors of slavery and war.  The subject matter of the film has provoked comments, both for and against, from everyone from politicians to white supremacist groups to Louis Farrakhan.  The Daughters of the Confederacy wants Dreamworks to cancel the project, saying the portrayal of the CSA in the book is unfair.  (Interestingly, some historians have complained that the book portrays the CSA as being too progressive.)  Steven Spielberg (A.I., Schindler's List, Amistad) is set to direct.  Several actors have expressed interest in appearing in it, and at this time William H. Macy appears to be the favorite to portray Robert E. Lee.  Also cast at this time is Hewitt in the role of Molly Bean, a woman who disguised herself as a man and served in the Confederate Army.  Unthinkable for her a year ago, Hewitt reportedly blew away her competitors during auditions.  The film is now in preproduction and is scheduled to be released next winter.

This is not Gone with the Wind.  There will be no glorifying people who should be condemned.  It is time to see this period without the romanticism, how ugly it really was--and how ugly the people who romanticized it really were.
--Jefferey Katzenberg, Dreamworks

Although there will be no Daria & Jane, the aborted production has spawned an unlikely collaboration.  Directior Ridley Scott and producer Jerry Bruckheimer, despite their differences, have decided the relationship was profitable enough to continue.  And thus their creative energies (or what can be liberally called such) are being directed together to create a new film together, Black Hawk Down.  Set during the US intervention in Somalia, one can only hope this weighty subject is handled better than how they handled the responsible use of technology (Terminator 2:  Judgement Day) or the events of December 7, 1941 (Pearl Harbor)...

*8/19/01:  A considerable number of actors have been in the news lately.  According to mainstream entertainment news sources, Leonardo DiCaprio ("Jesse" in Daria and Daria 2) has signed a deal with Initial Entertainment Group that allows his production group, Appian Way, to get financing and first dibs on potential projects Dicaprio can star in.  DiCaprio will serve as Appian Way's CEO (God help them).  Pauly Shore ("Butt-Head" in the same two movies) reportedly will be starring in a semiautobiographical film titled You'll Never Wiez in This Town Again, apparently in an attempt to jump-start his career which has stalled despite being in two movies with Jennifer Love Hewitt.  Jean Claude Van-Damme ("Buzzcut" in the upcoming Daria & Jane) was recently at Harrod's department store in London, England to announce the launching of his new line of jeans, "Dammage7."
Most people who are not in comas these days are aware of the phenomenal success of Tim Burton's (Beetlejuice, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Batman) remake of the classic Planet of the Apes.  Having great makeup effects, the film sucks in almost every other way, so much so that we do not feel the slightest bit of guilt revealing that at the end of the film is shown the Lincoln Memorial with the face on Abraham Lincoln's statue replaced with that of an ape.  The film stars Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg (Boogie Nights, The Perfect Storm, Fear), who portrayed Tommy Sherman in the first two Daria live-action films.  Some members of the Cinematic Aficionados National Antidegredation Association (CANADA) have been so appalled by Burton's "reimagining" that there has been one protest rally and several sharply worded letters to Burton asking him to stop making such garbage.

The Planet of the Apes remake also has Charlton Heston, who appeared in the original, much better film, in a cameo.  Heston was also supposed to have a small role in Daria & Jane as "Hank Anderson," signing on back when James Cameron was set to direct.  Now, according to "Toady Two Shoes," he appears to have bailed.  During the marathon viewing of the original Daria cartoon series being held by Reese Witherspoon ("Stacy"), Heston showed once to consult about his character.  He was introduced to the people present, one of those people being forced to excuse herself before the introduction was made.  Heston asked "Who's she?  She doesn't look famous."  Witherspoon replied that she was Sarah Polley, a Canadian actress who wouldn't be appearing in the film but would be on the set as an acting coach, evading the subject of why she felt she had to leave entirely.  When Heston left, Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") and Christina Ricci ("Jane") got stuck on the subject of Heston's controversial views.  Ryan Phillipe was eventually forced to break up the discussion by doing a bad impression of Heston, starting with the line "Soylent Green is made of dirty apes!  They're dirty apes!"

Tim Roth (left) strangles Mark Wahlberg in Tim Burton's remake of Planet of the Apes, perhaps for bad acting.  Picture courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox.
Just because he's an offensive right-wing lunatic who's compared the treatment of gun owners to Jews under the Third Reich is no reason to be rude.
--Christina Ricci

Heston, meanwhile, looked up who Polley was, and when he found out he was furious.  In a call to producer Jerry Bruckheimer, Heston refused to "work on the same set as that goddamn Red" and demanded she be barred from the set.  Bruckheimer did his best to calm Heston down and went immediately to see Ricci, whose deal to appear in Daria & Jane includes the provision for Polley to be Hewitt's acting coach.  Ricci responded that Hewitt had made amazing progress under Polley's instruction and refused to budge.  Bruckheimer was forced to go back to Heston without a concession, at which point Heston threw a tantrum and refused to appear at all in the film.  Whether Heston can be reconciled to working anywhere near Polley is unclear at this time, though "Snazzy17" reports hearing Bruckheimer already has Steve Buscemi (Armageddon, Con Air, Ghost World) lined up to take over the role.

"ImperialSexWax" reports another incident that does not bode well for avoiding the feuds among the actors.  The incident occurred two days ago when Sarah Michelle Gellar (Cruel Intentions, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream 2) made a visit to the set where the actors were doing a read-through of the current version of the script.  Although she supposedly is not in the film (she appeared in Daria 2 as Tanqueray after Britney Spears refused to appear), her fiancée, Freddie Prinze, Jr. ("Skyler") is, and she came for her first visit.  When she found him, he was talking to "this voluptuous brunette," which greatly displeased her.  Approaching, Prinze greeted her and introduced the woman, Christina Ricci.  Ricci, as it happens, had been talking to Prinze about his father, the late comedian Freddie Prinze (Chico and the Man), and displayed enough knowledge about him to embarrass Gellar about how little the latter knew of him.  Ricci then excused herself, explaining she wanted to look on how Jennifer Love Hewitt was doing, noting she had made considerable progress.  Gellar questioned Prinze about Ricci but apparently he only knew her from The Addams Family and was only trying to be friendly.  Gellar ended up saying something like "That woman gives me the creeps" and looking angry enough to chew steel.  "ImperialSexWax" notes that Gellar has been jealous lately since Tori Spelling (Beverly Hills 90210, Scary Movie 2) made some some rather blatant overtures towards Prinze.

Meanwhile, the rewriting of the script has taken a setback.  "DadinagasDaddio" reports that Witherspoon and Phillipe's 2-year-old daughter, Ava, was recently rushed to an emergency room with what turned out to be influenza.  While Ava recovered, Witherspoon, who had taken charge of the rewrites, spent most of her time with her daughter.  Her costar Alyson Hannigan ("Tiffany") has done some work on the script, but most of it is still not to their satisfaction.  Hannigan herself has been distracted by her involvement with promotional activities related to her latest movie American Pie 2, a gross-out comedy in which she returns to the role in which she uttered those immortal words "Say my name, bitch!"
Filming is set to begin this week on a scene which flashes back to before the first movie.  The filming will involve cameos by comedians Ben Stiller ("Keith") and Janeane Garofalo ("Amy"), who appeared in the first Daria movie as the title character's parents, as well as a small part by Hewitt.  The "basement of doom" scene is one of the few scenes cleared so far by Witherspoon, Hannigan, and Christina Ricci, who is now being called "the one with mysterious powers over Jerry Bruckheimer" (among other things derogatory to Bruckheimer that would be severely indecent to repeat).  Though Hewitt has the smallest part, "Snazzy17" and "Spaz" report she has been very anxious lately, sometimes to the point of hyperventilating, now that she'll have to demonstrate some real acting ability on film.  Hewitt's "coach" Sarah Polley has been spending extra time with her, more to reassure her than to work on her acting at this point.  "Pat22" claims that Hewitt has approached Garofalo and Stiller for help in getting through the scene.  Polley's services are apparently in demand, with "Snazzy17" reporting that Jonathan Taylor Thomas ("Upchuck") being so impressed with Hewitt's progress that he has asked her for help with his own role.  There is no word if she has agreed yet.

From left to right:  Kel Mitchell, Paul Rubens, William H. Macy, a skull in a transparent bowling ball, Ben Stiller, Janeane Garofalo, and Hank Azaria in Mystery Men, one of several films in which Stiller and Garofalo appear together.  Picture courtesy of Universal Pictures.

*8/1/01:  Word has reached us on the specific direction in which Reese Witherspoon ("Stacy") wants to take her rewriting of Daria & Jane.  According to "Snazzy17", "Spaz", and many others, she wants "to recapture the spirit of the original cartoon series."  To this end, she had a week-long viewing at her place of all 68 episodes of Daria (the original series), and including the never-finished pilot ("Sealed with a Kick") and the two cartoon movies (Is It Fall Yet? and the still incomplete Is It College Yet?), all the time taking a large volume of notes.  Most of the principal cast sat in on the viewing at some point.  Most frequently there was Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria"), who was seeing the series for the first time for more than a few seconds; during breaks, she practiced speaking in a monotone and being sarcastic, much to the approval of her "acting coach" Sarah Polley.  Christina Ricci ("Jane") was somewhat annoyed about how the character of Jane had been warped by the previous cinematic writers and asked for more clever lines of her own; she also expressed shock at the total lack of the sexual interest between Daria and Jane that pervaded the first two live-action movies.  At points Hewitt and Ricci began imitating their cartoon avatars, sometimes getting disturbingly good.  Denise Richards ("Sandi") claimed to be irritated about the cartoon version of Sandi, but refused to elaborate.  Alyson Hannigan ("Tiffany") was present most of the time, and told Witherspoon on no uncertain terms that "if you base my character on this idiot [the cartoon version of Tiffany], I will kill you."  Jonathan Taylor Thomas ( "Upchuck") was fascinated by the cartoon version of his character and took to leering at all the females in the room, growling, and saying "Ooh!  Feisty!"  After watching "Fair Enough" (episode 210)--and too much irritation from Thomas--Richards tried reenacting the scene where Sandi knees Upchuck, but to her disappointment, Thomas failed to collapse to the floor; having seen Daria (the original series) before, he had taken the precaution of wearing an cup.  Wes Bentley ("Tom") asked a few times, "Is Tom supposed to be this dull?" and asked for elaboration.  Freddie Prinze, Jr. ("Skyler") showed and stayed through much of the viewing, even though his character appeared in only one episode.  There was considerable discussion as to who Daria's soul-mate really was, Hewitt favoring Trent, Polley and Ricci favoring Tom, Hannigan favoring Jane, and Witherspoon refusing to speculate.

Hewitt:  (deadpan) Wonderful.  A triumph for the cinema.

Ricci:  Don't beat around the bush.  What did you really think of Armageddon?

Hewitt:  It was the most moving experience ever.  How could we ever question Jerry's genius?

Ricci:  Must be sheer foolishness on our part.

Hewitt:  We must now rent Top Gun and Coyote Ugly so we can bask in his glory.

Ricci:  Fine, but you're springing for the barf bags.

Hannigan:  Stop it, you two.  You're starting to scare me.

Thomas:  I like it!  Rowr!  Feisty!

--Dialogue from the viewing, according to "Snazzy17"

Given the viewing took place at Witherspoon's home, viewing was sometimes interrupted by the need to attend to her toddler Ava, who took a liking to Prinze and spoke only in British English (complete with accent).  Witherspoon's husband, actor Ryan Philippe (Antitrust, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Cruel Intentions) was also frequently present, sometimes caring for Ava and adding his own critical comments.  Also present during the viewing on a few occasions was director Ridley Scott, who came by to see how the script was going.  He did not seem to care for the cartoon, often making critical remarks about how the shots were set up and the quality of the animation.  Producer Jerry Bruckheimer never showed but called frequently, reminding Witherspoon shooting would begin in mid-August and the script would have to be ready by then; Witherspoon's ideas were typically met with scorn by Bruckheimer, who would then be handed over to Ricci to be reminded of who had script approval.

With the viewing completed, Witherspoon has since been busy working on revising the script.  Hannigan has joined her during the revision, having come up with several good lines and ways of adapting material from the cartoons into the script.  The revised version is expected to be completed shortly.

Aside from all this, Disney is now courting Witherspoon to play the central character in Sweet Home Alabama, a romantic comedy about a woman in rural Alabama who leaves home and husband to live on her own in New York City, rising through the social strata, only to find her past still haunting her.  The main issue at the moment is reportedly how much Witherspoon will be paid; considering how well Legally Blonde is doing, she is demanding between $4,000,000 to $5,000,000

Meanwhile, rumors are now surfacing on Leonardo Dicaprio ("Jesse" in Daria and Daria 2) fan-sites that he is claiming now claiming that the foot he recently injured playing basketball was really broken by "some crazed blond Canuck bitch."

*7/24/01:  Many strange rumors have popped up recently.  To begin, it has been widely reported that Tom Cruise ("Wind") is now dating Penélope Cruz (Blow, All the Pretty Horses, Belle Epoque), who he met during the filming of the upcoming film Vanilla Sky.  We have no idea what the significance of this is, but at least their last names match.

Unlike Cruise, who seems to be making news mostly over his mysterious breakup with Nicole Kidman and his new relationship with Cruz, Reese Witherspoon ("Stacy") is making news for acting--and not just for the currently playing Legally Blonde.  Even before Legally Blonde was out in theaters, shooting had wrapped up in London for another film she had starred in, The Importance of Being Earnest, based on an enjoyable play by Oscar Wilde.  Since Witherspoon is discriminating about which films she will appear in, this is a very good sign on her part.  Her streak of weird movies will continue with Honey West, in which she will play a woman who inherits the family private-eye business; her business card is supposed to list her physical measurements (38-24-36).  Though there was a TV series by the same title in 1965 (which might lead one to light up the old-TV-show-movie-remake danger signal [and if there's any doubt that such a signal exists, just watch the excruciating The Beverly Hillbillies]), there is a concerted effort to hearken back to the original series of pulp fiction novels by Skip Fickling.  Witherspoon has even met with Fickling's widow, Glori, who inspired the title character.  The new film will be set in the present day and be style of Charlie's Angels.

In the mean time, several of our informants report that Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") is spending much of her time alone, either being coached by Sarah Polley or practicing by herself.  "DirkDiggler69" claims to have seen Hewitt wandering around Los Angeles, dressed very plainly and without makeup, almost unrecognizable; it was suggested this was an exercise in not being her usual self.  Polley herself, according to "Snazzy17," has been preoccupied by the recent G8 summit in Genoa, Italy, which like the Québec City summit, had heads of state sequestered away from protesters by means of walls and police, and at which clashes between protesters and police have gotten nasty.  Reportedly Polley and Hewitt have been discussing the protests between coaching sessions.  Polley has shared her Québec experiences, even showing Hewitt her gas mask to help her understand what the protesters in Genoa have been going through.  Hewitt even asked questions about what would happen now that de-facto President of the United States George W. Bush had withdrawn from the Kyoto Accords on limiting the emissions of greenhouse gasses.
Further details have emerged about the writing troubles on the set of Daria & Jane, which is still officially quiet.  According to "CrazyNumbersHeadMan" and "Snazzy17," last week (15th) producer Jerry Bruckheimer met with several actors dissatisfied with the increasing stupidity in successive versions of the script; the actors were said to include Christina Ricci ("Jane"), Wes Bentley ("Tom"), Witherspoon, Hewitt, Jonathan Taylor Thomas ("Upchuck"), and Alyson Hannigan ("Tiffany").  "CrazyNumbersHeadMan" suggested that Freddie Prinze, Jr. ("Skyler") expressed some interest in attending to Ricci but it is unclear if he showed.  Polley attempted to join the meeting but was forcibly barred by studio security under Bruckheimer's orders.  Bruckheimer tried speaking of the film being "high-concept" (i.e., highly simplistic) and needing to be "free of irrelevancies" (i.e., good dialogue, character development, a sensible plot, etc.), but the actors would have none of it.  There was considerable arguing for some time to no end.  The turning point was when Witherspoon requested that she be allowed to rewrite the script, presenting a copy which she had already "annotated."  Bruckheimer's reaction was to say something about her not worrying her "pretty, little head" and to work on memorizing her lines.  That was when Ricci slapped down a copy of her contract and pointed out how she had control over rewrites to make her own character look cool.  She then argued that her character could not look cool in a moronic film and let Bruckheimer complete the line of reasoning.  Bentley then suggested that if they did not get their way soon, Polley would probably find a reporter on her own and make the conflict very public.  The actors soon departed for a nearby bar to celebrate, having won virtually free reign over the dialogue and excision of any material they find offensive.

Jerry Bruckheimer
This is a day that will live forever in infamy.
--Jerry Bruckheimer, said as the revolting actors departed, according to "Snazzy17"

*7/15/01:  Preproduction is underway on Daria & Jane (formerly Daria 3:  Fashion Never Dies).  "DirkDiggler69" has reported that most of the major outdoor locations have been scouted out in New York City, Las Vegas, and Toronto, and sets are being built in a Los Angeles sound-stage.  Many of the principal cast are in training for the fighting sequences.  Both Christina Ricci ("Jane") and Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") are participating in the training, neither of them showing any of the hostility that plagued the first two installments.  Hewitt especially seemed subdued, at least when she was not engaged in punching or kicking.
Mainstream entertainment news sources report more additions have been made to the cast.  Janeane Garofalo (The Matchmaker, Dogma, Reality Bites) and Ben Stiller (Mystery Men, There's Something About Mary, The Suburbans), who appeared in the first installment as Daria's parents, will be returning to appear in a flashback.  Some of Jane's family will be appearing as well, with Shannen Doherty (Beverly Hills 90210, Charmed, Mallrats) appearing as her sister Penny and Tom Cruise (Magnolia, Endless Love, Eyes Wide Shut) as her brother Wind.  Cruise, who in the past few months has had a very noisy breakup with his wife Nicole Kidman (Moulin Rouge, Practical Magic, Batman Forever), has most recently made the news for shaving his head for his next movie, Steven Spielberg's Minority Report.  There is no news if Cruse will bring his new look to Daria & Jane.

I just want to say that I look forward to making one kick-ass appearance in this film.
--Tom Cruise, as quoted by Entertainment Tonight

Tom Cruise
A few details have emerged in the entertainment press about the deal between Ricci and Disney/Touchstone that allows her to appear in Daria & Jane.  It turns out having Ricci return to the role was Sarah Polley's idea, and she worked out the basics of the deal with Ricci before submitting it to Disney/Touchstone.  Surprisingly, money was not the biggest issue, with Ricci getting "only" $5,000,000 instead of the gross revenue shares she got for her appearance in Daria 2.  More important to her was the name change, getting top billing over Hewitt (supposedly Hewitt's idea), and rewrites to make her character "very cool."  All these contractual conditions were agreed on by Disney/Touchstone.

There was one additional condition which Disney/Touchstone was initially reluctant about but ultimately agreed to (probably because they were getting Ricci at such a bargain):  Hewitt will have an "assistant" who will get full access to the set, "no matter how much it annoys Ridley Scott or Jerry Bruckheimer or anyone else."  The title of this person is misleading, especially considering who it will be.  According to "89Rover2002" (who claims to have gotten the story from Hewitt's housekeeper), during the week or so that Hewitt was in seclusion, Ricci made at least one visit to the Hewitt residence, where she initially did not recognize her.  During a break from working out the terms they would present to Disney, Ricci questioned Hewitt about why she was "not her cheery self."  Hewitt was initially hesitant to discuss the subject outside of Polley's "inspiration," but with a little prodding it eventually came out that the Hewitt the public knew was an act.  Hewitt had been told at an early age (by whom was unspecified) that men's interest in her would lead to popularity, and there was a certain way to dress and act to get men's interest.  Ricci, noting how the "unpackaged" Hewitt looked so ordinary, remarked she must have been a better actor than anyone realized to make so many men think she was almost a supermodel.  That was when Ricci made the proposal:  to have Hewitt, under supervision, work on her acting, getting her to do the role "directly" rather than filtered through the ingrained act of being a bimbo.  Hewitt and Ricci together did a little coaxing, guilt-tripping, and made mention of how improved Milla Jovovich was in The Claim just from whom she had been around.  And that is why next month when the filming for Daria & Jane begins, Hewitt will coached on the set by none other than Sarah Polley.

Many of our informants report that there has been a revolt against producer Jerry Bruckheimer among some of the actors.  "Snazzy17" claims that many of the principal cast severely dislike the current version of the script written by Jonathan Hensleigh and Jeffrey "J. J." Abrams to the point of threatening a walkout.  Christina Ricci ("Jane") and Wes Bentley ("Tom") are reportedly to be among the most vocal of the dissenters.  Supposedly the script has reached an advanced state of stupidity that is typical of a Bruckheimer film.  Daria has been made into an idiotic piece of eye candy who stands around for two hours screaming and whining.  The presence of an African-American character whose sole purpose was to scream obscenities whenever things went wrong is also said to have given offense.  (This is the nice phrasing.  "15min" gave us a description which, if we posted, we would risk having our site forcibly removed from the server.)  Bruckheimer, in an extremely foul mood, is said to be meeting with the dissenting actors today to discuss the problem.

Bruckheimer is also reportedly facing opposition from director Ridley Scott, who according to "Snazzy17" and "DirkDiggler69" hates the current version of the script as much as the revolting actors.  Scott and Bruckheimer have been seen in at least one shouting match over script revisions.  Scott favors going back to earlier versions of the script, closer to the treatment written by James Cameron, where there was some semblance of plot and character development.  Higher-ups at Disney/Touchstone seem content at the moment to let the two fight it out among themselves.

Last Friday (13th) the movie Legally Blonde opened in theaters.  Starring Reese Witherspoon, the film depicts Elle Woods, a young woman in a sorority who is dumped by her boyfriend because he doesn't consider her an asset to his future political aspirations.  Upset, she manages to get into Harvard Law School and follows him there.  Critics generally have complained that the plot is rather standard and predictable; we would have to say that the writing is about a notch or two above that of the recent Heartbreakers.  Unlike Jennifer Love Hewitt, Witherspoon brings enthusiasm and gusto to her role, making the movie watchable and fun rather than the dull, stupid wreck it could have been.  We hope this bodes well for the upcoming Daria & Jane, in which she will be reprising her role of Stacy from the first movie.

*7/8/01:  Mainstream entertainment news sources report that on July 3rd, a tentative agreement was reached between the Screen Actors Guild, the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers.  The three-year agreement is supposed to address such issues as residuals and increasing pay for "middle-class" actors who earn $30,000 to $75,000 a year.  This effectively eliminates the possibility of an actors strike, which means the chances of Daria 3:  Fashion Never Dies going down in the midst of preproduction Hell are significantly lessened.  In the words of "Fluffy," "Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!"

I think we have focused on the middle-class actor, who has needed some relief and help to be able to live a life in this industry, and we have done that.
--William Daniels, SAG president, July 3rd, 2001
By all accounts, the past week has been unusual.  During that time Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") has remained mostly secluded at home, leading to speculation about what is happening to her.  "Tommy" claimed to have heard that someone was staying over with her during that time, probably a friend.  Entertainment news sources such as the National Inquirer have mentioned "mysterious visitors," most of whom took pains to keep their identities secret.  The one exception mentioned was an unidentified "blond woman who looks like she shops at the Gap," who has been seen coming and going several times.

Two days ago "the Gap woman" was credited in the incident which got attention of Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood.  (Some of the details of the below were provided by "Cassius199" where the mainstream reports were lacking.)  Since Hewitt's very public breakdown last week, a small group of tabloid photographers and reporters have camped out near the Hewitt residence, sometimes getting rather close and obnoxious.  More than a few times the Gap woman has been seen at windows with binoculars, looking back at photographers with telephoto lenses.  Finally two days ago Hewitt emerged from the building, still sporting a "wild" look that has been compared to Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2:  Judgment Day or Lara Croft strung out on drugs.  Hewitt approached the reporters, who immediately gathered around and barraged her with questions.  Hewitt finally got out something like, "Look, I don't care, it doesn't matter, so could you all just leave?"  The reporters failed to leave, so Hewitt sighed and resignedly began to answer questions.  Yes, she was still going to be in Daria 3.  No, she was not aware of any plans by Disney to replace her with Shannon Elizabeth.  Yes, her mother was still staying with her.  No, the mother would not be granting an interview.  No, she was not seeing Alec Baldwin or some guy appearing in a musical.

Jennifer Love Hewitt confronts the paparazzi.

"Do you really want to know?"
Finally a reporter asked if she was receiving psychiatric help.  This was when she straightened up and for the first time smiled.  She asked, "What?" and when the reporter repeated the question, she asked, "Do you really want to know?"  This was when she began to discuss how she was having her "psychiatric disorder" treated "under the supervision of Dr., um, Kubrick," listing a vegetarian, sugar-free diet, feng-shui adjustments to her living space, mutilating stuffed animals, meditation on the works of Dr. Seuss (she claimed to have gotten an important insight on life from If I Ran the Zoo), and only wearing loose, all-cotton underwear.  Noticing the reaction this was getting, she claimed she was successfully dealing with her anxiety problems by reaching an extremely relaxed state, this being achieved by having sex six times a day ("I'm feeling much better now!").

"I'm feeling much better now!"
While she was being pressed for details, someone inside apparently decided Hewitt had played enough head games and began throwing water balloons at the press through one of the overhead windows.  The barrage continued for about a minute, scattering the paparazzi and allowing Hewitt to walk back into the building, a swing on her hips of the kind that has not been seen for some time.  The mainstream entertainment news has uniformly blamed the Gap woman for the water balloons, though "Cassius199" points out a lack of any photographs of the assailant.  "Cassius199" also suggested Hewitt had set up the attack, keeping the reporters occupied long enough to fill the balloons.

--New York Daily News headline

We have gotten more than a few requests to know the current status of the poll on how people would like to see the Mandela situation resolved.  Here are the results:
Who should play Jane Lane
number of votes
Sarah Polley (pregnant)
Heh, have the character be pregnant.  In a movie about grrrrls, a pregnant Jane would be the ultimate liberation statement (i.e., pregnant women CAN have lives!).
--Kara Wild
Drew Barrymore
Drew Green [sic] can really kick ass, she would be great!
Lynsey Bartilson
I want it to be Lynsey.  She could really use a part like this.  Let it be her!
Thora Birch
Thora!  Thora!  Thora!
Aaron Carter
I always knew Jane had a secret.
Rachael Leigh Cook
No, it should be recasted with Rachael Leigh Cook.  I feel she is a perfect fit for the role of Jane--of course I'm one of many fans of RLC.
Kirsten Dunst
Kirsten Dunst should do it!!!!
She's so talented!  I hope they pick her!
Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie is who I want to play as Jane because she has the self-esteem to do it.
Jodie Lyn O'Keefe
Ever see Devil in the Flesh 2?  Need I say more?
Chloë Sevigny
An indie queen like her?  I'd love to see that but it'll never happen.
I think Sandra Bullock or Nicole Kidman should be Jane because they are the best at acting in any movie they play in so I think you should pick one of them!

As the table shows, Kirsten Dunst is the favorite, narrowly beating out Sarah Polley, Rachael Leigh Cook, and Angelina Jolie.  We would like to remind people that we just report things; we have no influence over the actual decision-making process.

All these would have made for interesting possibilities and would have been fun to see Disney/Touchstone look into.  However, as the August start date for filming looms, the issue of who will play Jane has finally been settled.  The announcement was made at a surprise press release yesterday held at an hour's notice.  Summoned to the ballroom of a Hilton, a speaker read a brief statement regarding the casting of the roles of Daria and Jane.  For Daria, she indicated that Hewitt had been having "personal problems" but was fine.  There would be no recasting of that role, Hewitt being expected to do perfectly well when filming begins next month.  For Jane, the news was a little more complicated.  Sarah Polley was reported to have "professional differences between her and the studio," and so by mutual agreement would not be appearing in that role.  The question of who would be taking over the role, however, was finally cleared up, when, looking a little smug and amused, the speaker said:

Finally, I would like to say how glad I am that we, the studio and I, could come to an agreement over my appearance in the next Daria film.  I hope you will all come see me starring in Daria & Jane when it hits the theaters next year.  Thank you.
--Christina Ricci

*7/2/01:  With the day to begin filming in August looming, the script for Daria 3:  Fashion Never Dies is still to be finished.  "CrazyNumbersHeadMan" reports that producer Jerry Bruckheimer, not satisfied with the writing of Stephen E. de Souza and Bruce Feirstein, has brought in two new writers, Jonathan Hensleigh (Die Hard:  With a Vengeance, Jumanji, The Saint) and Jeffrey "J. J." Abrams (Taking Care of Business, Forever Young, Armageddon), to "polish" the script.  In "CrazyNumbersHeadMan"'s words, "At this rate the script will be ready just after the film is shot."  This brings the total of people who will get some kind of writing credit to five, not atypical for a Hollywood film these days.

Sarah Polley:  Activist actor sensibly declines to debate Ontario Health Minister Tony Clement on the future of medicare, offering to put up a panel of experts and patients instead.  How about it, Tony?
--Maclean's, June 11, 2001

Multiple informants have reported that Sarah Polley has been in Los Angeles recently to discuss her future in the Daria 3 production.  "Spaz" and "Doctor Death" claim that she is so annoyed by all the flack she's getting from Disney/Touchstone (such as demands that she not be involved in any protests or talk to the press) that she's ready to walk out.  "Jhanson3000" claims she has sent John Malkovich a dozen dead roses with a note about how there will be no way in Hell she will ever play poker with him again.  "23skidu" claims to have overheard Polley taking with someone on her cell phone with someone in what sounded like a "negotiation to play the part of Jane."
"UB46T92" reported on an incident that should make Polley happy that she was not around for the first two movies.  The other night Polley was at a bar with Milla Jovovich (Return to the Blue Lagoon, The Fifth Element, Messenger:  The Story of Joan of Arc), who she met during the filming of The Claim.  At one point, Jovovich got up to go to the bathroom, at which point Polley was accosted by Leonardo DiCaprio ("Jesse" in Daria and Daria 2).  DiCaprio started with a lame pickup line (licking his fingertip, touching her shoulder, and saying "Let's go somewhere and get you out of those wet clothes"), which only got him a brief, profane rejection.  DiCaprio then continued to make a fool of himself despite Polley pointing out she already had a significant other and being completely uninterested.  He then switched to questioning her sexual orientation and bragging about who he was and his own abilities when horizontal, which ended up with him inadvertently spitting on her.  It was then that she dumped her drink in his lap and said very loudly "Leonardo DiCaprio, you'd better go somewhere and get yourself out of those wet pants."  "UB46T92" reported her words to Jovovich as she left him totally stunned and red-faced:

You know, Love Hewitt doesn't seem all that bad now.
--Sarah Polley

Leonardo DiCaprio (left) is caught being a pest in front of Sarah Polley (right) by a security camera.  Picture courtesy of "UB46T92"

Several people have reported a rumor circulating that Jennifer Love Hewitt has "multiple personalities."  Supposedly Hewitt, traumatized by her early experiences of being a child star, had a mental split.  A cheerful, fun, sexy personality came to dominate, while the negative emotions and rational aspects became buried.  Having encountered others who embodied combinations of these aspects, Hewitt became sufficiently stressed to allow the Dark Half to manifest.  The idea that Hewitt is being taken over by a suppressed personality has even spawned her a new nickname, "Jennifer Love Hyde."

The change in Hewitt, and the expected end of her career, has resulted in one potential new opportunity.  "Space_Zombie_29" reports that a new distributor has taken an interest in her:  Troma Entertainment.  Famous for such independent classics as The Toxic Avenger, Killer Condom, Cannibal! The Musical, and Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D., Troma allegedly has approached Hewitt to star in several upcoming B-movies.  The lure of catching a major star on the way down is so great that they have even offered to pay for breast implants for when she would do nude scenes.  Troma executives further claimed that Pterodactyl Woman of Beverly Hills had actually helped the career of Beverly D'Angelo.  Hewitt is supposed to have rejected the offer, but not after first thinking it was a bad joke.
The speculation about Hewitt's condition has, if anything, gotten worse since the news of the very public breakdown emerged three days ago.  Hewitt was being taken shopping by Sarah Michelle Gellar ("Tanqueray" in Daria 2) in a vain attempt to cheer her up, ostensibly to "do something about this creepy Linda Hamilton thing."  Hewitt was barely going through the motions and found herself frequently distracted.  Then at some point she began crying, first just the tears breaking though, then some very loud vocalizations as Gellar found her collapsing on top of her.  When this got the attention of everyone around them, Gellar began to use some of her very real martial-arts skills to clear people away and even threw a pair of shoes she had just purchased, saying a few unkind things at the onlookers.  Hewitt may have been crying something out, though reports are inconsistent on this point.  Finally Gellar was able to get Hewitt to her feet and got her out of the store and onto the street, where they quickly caught a taxi.  It is unclear why Hewitt suddenly burst out crying, but "IG-88" claims the trigger was the song being played on the overhead speakers, Garbage's "Stupid Girl" (lyrics | audio sample).

Hewitt has not left her home since then.

I just want to be like Meg Ryan, or Julia Roberts!  They never go far from what their audiences want to see them do!  Why can't I be like that!  Why can't I be like that!
--Jennifer Love Hewitt, according to "PJ282"

Jennifer Love Hewitt (left) and Sarah Michelle Gellar during the filming of I Know What You Did Last Summer

Your site sucks!

Just as the term "Mandela situation" has sprung up (after the alleged name of Sarah Polley's equally alleged unborn child), it is not entirely clear if the Mandela situation even exists.  Recently several members of the Sarah Polley Fan Club noticed that some of the news items were definitely fakes.  The stories in question were largely plagiarized from other stories with the names changed.  This included a pregnancy announcement taken from one for Cate Blanchett, a story about Polley and Michael Winterbottom's sex life which was lifted from a story about that of Mick Jagger, and one about a nude scene in the upcoming film No Such Thing which drew heavily from one about Kirsten Dunst in crazy/beautiful.  The truthfulness of other stories, such as the alleged wedding of Polley and Winterbottom in Cuba and the baby being named "Mandela," have also been questioned.  Given we have far more informants in Hollywood than in Canada, the United Kingdom, or Cuba, we can say little is certain other than she may not be pregnant or married at this time, and the mad dash to deal with the situation in Hollywood has probably been totally unwarranted.  A downside of this situation is that we must apologize to Tony Clement for reporting comments he did not make in the last installment; however, it is still the official position of this page that he is a jackass.  (For editorials in the Toronto Star by people who aren't buying what he says any more than Polley does, look here, here, and here.)

We have, however, gotten a few unconfirmed rumors.  "Castor432" pointed out that most of the suspect and fraudulent articles are supposed to come from the Reuters news service and suggests someone there has been planting them to discredit Polley, perhaps someone working for her archenemy, Tony Clement.  On the surface this make sense, as some of the claims in the questionable articles are not flattering (such as that Polley has had "toy-boys" flown out to her on shoots).  The problems with this hypothesis include many of the articles being obvious plagiarisms (thus easy to discredit) and that some are attributed to sources other than Reuters.  Furthermore, that the articles in question actually came from Reuters has not at this time been confirmed.  "Spaz" picked up on many of these problems and suggested, half-jokingly, that since they were done incompetently, the author of these stories is none other than Clement himself!  Another possibility, which "Fidget" swears is true, is that the author of the articles is actually Polley.  According to an earlier rumor, Polley tried out for and accepted the part of Jane as fulfillment of a poker bet she lost to John Malkovich.  By circulating stories she is pregnant and other things which will get her bad publicity in the United States (especially the Cuba story), Disney will be forced to release her from her contract.  Supporting this idea is that Polley has done nothing to discredit these claims.  However, Polley could have done a much better job, though "Fidget" claims the poor quality of some of the fakes is to allow Polley to discredit them later once Daria 3 has been released.  And then the most unexciting but perhaps most likely possibility, which no one submitted, is two guys made the phony stories up on their own and spread them for the fun of it.
Whatever the truth is, Polley may get her wish to be dropped from the production.  According to "DieHardest," producer Jerry Bruckheimer has told others that he is "going to get rid of that Polley freak, pregnant or not" and a few other things with profanity in them.  Director Ridley Scott is also supposed to be "nervous" about Polley's political views.  Even Disney CEO Michael Eisner has supposedly said that "Sarah Polley is a pack of trouble who we'd be better off without.  Get rid of her."  Eisner is said to be very upset to learn she is such a "noisy" activist, the same one who a decade ago irked Disney executives by wearing a peace symbol to a function during the Gulf War.  He fears Polley will use the press attention the movie will attract to spout views which will reflect badly on Disney.  ("Nibzif" claims Eisner already had the responsible casting people fired and blacklisted from future Disney projects.)  "Spaz" also reports that Polley has voiced reservations about some of the things Disney/Touchstone wants to do to promote the film, which has done nothing to endear her with them.

Perhaps the only reason that Polley has not been dropped from the project yet is the difficulty in finding a replacement.  There have been a few reports of people coming in to read for the part, both alone and opposite Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria"), with mixed results.  "OU812" and "DirkDiggler69" elaborated on the mention made on Entertainment Tonight that Drew Barrymore will not be taking over the role of Jane, claiming she was asking for $12 million.  "You tell them my name and I will kill you!" claims that Tori Spelling (Beverly Hills 90210, The House of Yes, Co-ed Call Girl) made a laughable attempt at reading for the role and got yelled at by Hewitt for being a "talentless plastic freak," which left her crying.  According to "DirkDiggler69," Rachael Leigh Cook made a comparatively good impression, but Bruckheimer got scared when she began removing the blue M&Ms from the bag she was eating, said they were "wrong," and then insisted she had to eat something salty because she had just eaten something sweet.  Other potential candidates seem to have ruled themselves out.  Angelina Jolie, appearing on The Tonight Show on June 11th to promote Tomb Raider, denied she had any interest the part of Jane.  (She also reported that for her first marriage anniversary to director Billy Bob Throrton that they signed legal documents pledging their lives to each other in blood, got tattoos, and watched Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.)

Michael Eisner, CEO of Disney

Tori Spelling

"Nibzif," "Spaz," and "TheNookieMonster" all reported on the activities of Stephen E. de Souza and Bruce Feirstein, who have been trying to finish the script.  Just before the Mandela situation became known, they had just finished a draft with which they were satisfied and were about to pass it over to Ridley Scott.  Then came the news, followed by profanity, and now they are reportedly hiding in a hotel room, diligently trying to write around any possibility that could happen.

On June 10th, Melissa Joan Hart ("Brittany") shamed herself by appearing in Voyage to Atlantis:  The Lost Empire, a special that not only promoted Disney's upcoming cartoon Atlantis:  The Lost Empire, but used what may be jokingly be called evidence, and in many cases outright distortions and lies, to claim that Atlantis really existed.  (That the same technology that decades ago revealed the existence of the Mid-Atlantic Ridge failed to reveal the presence of a sunken continent made the entire exercise rather trying.)  In the words of "Spaz":  "Never have I seen a celebrity make such a shameful spectacle of oneself since Charleton Heston's appearance in The Mysterious Origins of Man, the activities of Dan Aykroyd and the Fox channel excepted, of course.  Hart, every other person involved, and Disney should be ashamed of themselves."  A good albeit basic site on Atlantis, for those who are interested, is Atlantis - Fact, Fiction or Exaggeration?  (As for the film itself, it's largely plagiarized from a Japanese cartoon series Nadia of the Seas of Wonder/The Secret of Blue Water.  Check out the comparison page Nadia vs. Atlantis.)

On June 12th it was announced that Shannon Doherty's replacement on the WB show Charmed would be Rose McGowan.  McGowan played Andrea in Daria and Daria 2, as well as having stared in a number of independent films and Scream.  "Spaz" voiced the hope that this will boost her career, which has recently included such flops as Ready to Rumble and Monkeybone.  This is the same role turned down by Jennifer Love Hewitt, whose career is in similarly marginal shape.

We are truly fortunate to have the opportunity to work with Rose McGowan and believe she will bring a new and different dynamic to Charmed.
--Jordan Levin, WB copresident, as quoted by E! Online

Alright!  A wild exhibitionist who'll beat the crap out of that poseur Phoebe!
All this news, however, has of course been overshadowed by what has been referred to as a suicide attempt on Jennifer Love Hewitt's part.  "Fathead" reported on the incident, giving us details that Liz Smith and Entertainment Tonight failed to mention.  Hewitt and Jonathan Taylor Thomas ("Upchuck") showed up at the Sky Bar at the Mondrian Hotel in Los Angeles the night before last and somehow managed to get in.  "Fathead" described this venue as being "weird, with people lying on mattresses around a pool with funny Christmas trees all around."  Hewitt was looking even worse than the horrible she has been looking lately, and Thomas had taken it upon himself "to cheer her up."  There were several other celebrities there, and Hewitt, being in a very foul mood, was telling Thomas her unedited opinions about them all.  Worried she might get them kicked out, Thomas was trying very hard to get her relax and be quiet, plying her with drinks and using what passed for soothing words.  Thomas noticed on the next mattress over was Courtney Love (member of the band Hole, also in The People vs. Larry Flint, 200 Cigarettes, Man in the Moon), and invited her to join Hewitt and himself.  The topic of music naturally came up, and Love, to Thomas's horror, spoke of her own problems with recording contracts and how the music industry in general screws over musicians.  When she asked Hewitt about her own recording contract, Hewitt revealed she really didn't know anything about it, that being handled by her manager.  Love started dispensing advice to a stunned Hewitt and talked about her own legal troubles with her record label in trying to break an unfair contract.  When Thomas tried changing the topic, Hewitt said it was okay and then jumped in the pool.  This is where Liz Smith started reporting, how Thomas and Neve Campbell (the Scream trilogy, Wild Things, Panic) fished her out, how director Oliver Stone (Platoon, JFK, Nixon) started making accusations, and Campbell spouting some venom of her own back.  Fortunately Hewitt was okay and was promptly removed from the situation.  According to "Fathead," the accusation that Love gave Hewitt heroin before the plunge is totally baseless.  Aaron Spelling reportedly got an idea from the incident for a soap opera about rock stars and the greedy people who take all their money.

Courtney Love
Neve Campbell
Aside from the bad publicity the Sky Bar has gotten, the incident has also brought some unwanted attention on the Daria 3 production.  Oliver Stone vented his ideas directly to Liz Smith, perhaps one of his strangest conspiracy theories.  Stone, who has been following the production, was alarmed by the casting of Sarah Polley as Jane.  He suggested that her presence was part of a plot to undermine the film industry.  By placing a socialist in the middle of a Hollywood production, she would corrupt other actors and crew, disrupting work and making film production impossible.  He also suggested her casting could only be explained by the actions of a secret organization within the United States government which, once the industry was hopelessly crippled, would be able to use the disruption as an excuse to do a crackdown on Hollywood and suppress free speech.

Oliver Stone
*6/10/01:  So far there is no resolution over what will happen to the Daria 3:  Fashion Never Dies production now that one of the lead actors, Sarah Polley ("Jane"), is known to be pregnant, though we have received many rumors.  A few people have suggested that this is really the end of the Daria 3 production, and we have all been invited again to party in Las Vegas this upcoming weekend.  Huey Spiller, an activist with the Cinema Aficionados National Antidegredation Association (CANADA) has even begun a petition, the letter to be sent to Disney/Touchstone beginning: "Daria 3's not meant to be!"  However, this does not seem likely to happen given everything else the production has survived, with it instead going forward with some modification.

"JAK412" has suggested that Polley will continue in the role of Jane, with the pregnancy merely hidden.  This is unlikely since Polley should be at least five months along when filming is scheduled to begin in August, and the expected amount of action would make such a strategy complicated, even with body doubles and creatively putting things in front of her.  One popular suggestion is that the pregnancy will be written into the script.  In fact, we have received at least a dozen reports that the writers are actually doing this.  "Spaz," "ImperialSexWax,", "CNW," and "MJones3914" all reported that one storyline will involve Daria and Jane being split-up because Jane cheated on Daria with Tom, with the very visible result.  There are other rumors popping up as well. "Rory" claims that Jane will be pregnant by Daria by means of genetic engineering, "Kgjne20fj489" says that the father is Upchuck, "Lulu222" says the father is Trent by way of artificial insemination from frozen semen in a sperm bank, and "Povichrox" suggests that Jane will have been impregnated by aliens.  "Spaz" claims that Polley has been spending a small fortune calling Los Angeles to talk about her future with the project, which was interpreted as there being some chance the pregnant-Jane option will be taken.

Sarah Polley

Drew Barrymore

Rachael Leigh Cook

Jodi Lyn O'Keefe
Another possibility is that the role of Jane will be recast for the second time.  If anything, we got way too many rumors and suggestions of who the replacement will be.  Some of the choices mentioned are unlikely, such as Thora Birch (American Beauty, Dungeons and Dragons) and Angelina Jolie (Gia, The Bone Collector, Tomb Raider), who turned down the role in the last round of recasting.  "The0ne," "DirkDiggler69," and "Toady" report hearing that Drew Barrymore (Charlie's Angels, Doppleganger, Firestarter) has expressed interest in playing Jane.  "DirkDiggler69," however, suggests she will not get the role since her paycheck would likely add millions of dollars to the budget. "BIFF," "LordDorko," "Cocakid," "ROTFLMAO," and "Noogieman" reported hearing that Rachael Leigh Cook (Josie and the Pussycats, She's All That, Antitrust) is being courted for the role.  "Doofy," "Carter941a," "TheNookieMonster," "HellSpawn19," "David Manning," and "Punkass" reported that Jodi Lyn O'Keefe (Nash Bridges, Halloween H2O: Twenty Years Later, Devil in the Flesh 2) is under consideration.  Several others have been mentioned, such as Lynsey Bartilson (Grounded for Life), Kirsten Dunst (Drop Dead Gorgeous, Bring It On, crazy/beautiful), and Chloë Sevigny (Kids, Palmetto, Boys Don't Cry).  These and many other suggestions, however, got only one or two mentions each, and some of those we've received seem rather unlikely.  "SimonPotentloins" even made the suggestion that Jane would be played by Aaron Carter, an idea we think has about as much substance as Tony Clement has maturity.
Lynsey Bartilson
Thora Birch
Aaron Carter
Kirsten Dunst
Angelina Jolie
Chloë Sevigny
As we asked before when the role first became vacated, we would like to know what our readers think should be done.  Should Polley continue playing Jane, the character made pregnant?  Or should the role be recast, and with whom?  Send us e-mail and let us know what you think should happen.  The results will be reported in a future installment.

Whether or not the pregnancy makes it into the film, the name of Polley and director Michael Winterbottom's baby is known:  "Mandela."  According to a Reuters article (June 7th), the name was announced by Polley at a press conference in Manchester, England, after the Canadian parliament declined to grant honorary citizenship to the South African activist and former president, which displeased her no end.  ("Mandela Winterbottom"?!?)

"Token278," noting Polley's leftist orientation, sent us a link to a page about Misconceptions, Confusions, and Conflicts Concerning Socialism, Communism, and Capitalism.  The page is surprisingly balanced and intelligent, dealing with the issues from the varied sides.  This is definitely worth reading.
Love Come Down indeed.  Soon she'll be feeling The Weight of Water.  Sorry, I just can't resist.
--Tony Clement, Ontario Minister of Health.

Polley's pregnancy and marriage has been giving her nemesis, Ontario Minister of Health Tony Clement, plenty to blab about.  The Canadian News quoted Clement trying to sound clever and failing miserably at that on June 3rd.  The tirade dragged on for some time to the point of becoming severely annoying.  He apparently did not realize that working the titles of Polley's films into his speech would get tired almost instantaneously.

Miss Polley soon will know that the crisis in the medical sector is no White Lie.  She'll have Straight Up experience of why this government is pushing for common-sense solutions to the problem of health-care finance.
--Tony Clement

The same article also mentioned details of Polley's recent marriage to director Michael Winterbottom.  Supposedly the two were married in Havana, Cuba on January 1st in a mass ceremony lead by Raul Castro, Cuban Defense Minister.  Polley reportedly even read at the ceremony the poem "Chiapas, Zapatas y Che" by Enrique Cisneros and was broadcast on Cuban radio.  (It should be noted that some have questioned whether this information is true.)  Some authorities in Ontario such as Attorney General David Young have questioned the validity of the marriage and object to Winterbottom getting a work visa.  Clement, of course, found a way to comment on the situation in the most annoying way possible.

That kind of Exotica is not an issue for the Health Ministry, nor is this a case of Dave's So Mean to Sarah, but a matter of immigration law...  As an opponent of globalization, Miss Polley should be sensitive to foreign nationals entering this country and laying claim to jobs from good, law-abiding Canadians, shouldn't she?  Oh, dear, there seems to be a taint of hypocrisy, now, doesn't there?  Oh, well, I'm sure it will all be settled, one way or another, Any Day Now.
--Tony Clement

For those of you who are curious to learn more about Tony Clement's past, the Tenant Advocacy Group has drawn up a report card for the time he spent as Minister of Municipal Affairs and Housing.  It is little wonder after reading it that he has gotten in so much trouble as Minister of Health.

Tony Clement, Ontario Minister of Health

The cracking of Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") may be worse than feared.  "Nibzif" sent us an article from the National Enquirer dated April 29th (why the delay?) which relates Hewitt betraying the very things which have gotten her where she is.  It seems while shopping in a store on Melrose Avenue, two boys stared at her chest, first through a window, then going inside and trying to hide among the clothing on sale while oggling her.  Once caught, Hewitt confronted them and yelled at them, causing them to leave, embarassed.  Hewitt's words:

Cut it out, for God's sake!  I'm a person, and they're just boobs!

Regarding the breakup between Hewitt and now ex-boyfriend Rich Cronin, Cronin recently told the New York Post that he broke up with her because he could not handle all the rumors of her paired with various other men.

By now most of you know from gossip columnists and Entertainment Tonight that the night before last Hewitt and Melissa Joan Hart ("Brittany") were seen running and screaming outside a nightclub.  Unfortunately, these sources don't explain why she was doing this short of "someone" scared them.  Fortunately for us there were a few witnesses, and one of them, "PrettyNPunk," was kind enough to inform us of the details.

To start, Jennifer Love Hewitt looked like crap.  She was wearing jeans and a baggy top and no makeup, and I wouldn't have recognized her at all if it wasn't for Melissa Joan Hart with her, and then I thought at first she was some loser friend of hers.  They didn't come out of the club so much as Melissa dragged a very sick-looking Jennifer out of the club and into the alley nearby.  Then Melissa stood by while Jennifer was doubled over and threw up longer than anyone else I've seen.  A few people are standing about, and Melissa looks nervous.  Jennifer said something like "Let them watch."  After a few coughs and getting a breath mint from Melissa, Jennifer announces she's ready to leave when this guy says in a really creepy voice, "I know what you did last summer."  And this guy comes towards her, totally drunk and with a weird look in his eyes, and points straight at Jennifer. And then he says something like "I saw that movie you did and I know who you are."  Melissa looks ready to run, but Jennifer grabs her and does some posturing, says she's not going to be scared off.  So the guy says he knows her future, that in a few years she'll lose everything, she'll be forgotten and be stuck doing plays and B-movies.  And so Jennifer says something like, "And how would you know that?"  That's when the guy looks even scarier than before.  He says he is her, that he was where she is, that he had so much more to give but Hollywood shut him out.  Then he came close to them, and he said, so softly that I could barely hear, "They're going to put on my gravestone 'star of Weekend at Bernie's'"  And then Jennifer went from looking confused to horrified and got out of there as fast as she could run and letting out a deafening scream.  Melissa tried to run too, but she nearly fell because she was wearing pumps instead of sneakers like Jennifer.  And the guy was yelling at her, "You can't run!  You hear me!  You're already dead!"  That's when he stepped under a streetlight where I could get a good look at him.  It was Andrew McCarthy!

Andrew McCarthy (right), Terry Kiser (center) and Jonathan Silverman (left) relax on the beach in Weekend at Bernie's (1989).  Picture courtesy of McCarthyism.

*6/3/01: "Spaz" pointed us to a recent column by Cindy Adams where someone asked Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") why she split with her last boyfriend, Rich Cronin.  Her reply:

He's an idiot.  All my boyfriends have been kind of idiots. I can't be friends with them.
Michael Starr of the New York Post reported in its June 1st issue that Hewitt will not be replacing Shannen Doherty in the WB series Charmed.  Starr suggested it was because Hewitt was more interested in doing films right now; however, given her last attempt at television (Time of Your Life), that may not be the case.  According to "Spaz," her refusal had to do with her not wanting "to do anything so amazingly stupid anymore."  The New York Post article can be seen here.

The New York Post also reported that Alec Baldwin (The Shadow, Pearl Harbor, State and Main, Thomas and the Magic Railroad) has been causing trouble for Hewitt's latest movie, The Devil and Daniel Webster.  Reportedly he has quit as director, putting completion of the movie's editing in jeopardy. The full story can be found here.

And as if the Daria 3 production hasn't been threatened enough with a possible writers strike, an actor having a breakdown, a possible future actors strike, and a writer-director going into space, it now has to face the possibility of replacing recasting the same role twice.  The Reuters news service reports that Sarah Polley ("Jane") is pregnant, the baby due "late this year."  The father, director Michael Winterbottom (The Claim), is, according to Reuters, also Polley's husband, their marriage never having been previously reported.  What this means for the production is uncertain, though most likely the pregnancy will either be written into the story (as she should be showing by the time filming starts in August) or there will be a second recasting for the character of Jane.  "Fuzzball" claims that producer Jerry Bruckheimer does not like Polley personally and has only tolerated her because James Cameron liked her audition and her activism has been limited to Canada, where the United States media has largely ignored her.  Now that Cameron has been replaced as director by Ridley Scott, a pregnancy may be enough to get her dropped from the production.  Other Disney/Touchstone executives have reportedly not been happy with the choice of Polley, noting an incident which happened about a decade ago.  If Bruckheimer doesn't get rid of her, the studio may.

When I was eleven I was at an event in Washington during the Gulf War and there were senators sitting at the same table.  I was wearing a peace symbol and I started talking about the war and how I thought it was atrocious and disgusting.  And later I received a phone call from a Disney executive wanting to know if I was a communist!  I was eleven!  I didn't hear from them for a while after that, though I had been hearing a lot from them previously.
--Sarah Polley


I was really proud to be the subject of Tony Clement's first joke ever.
--Sarah Polley, as quoted in the Toronto Star, May 25th, 2001

There isn't going to be an apology [for Clement's earlier sarcastic comment about Polley] because what was said was said in jest.
--Gord Haugh, press secretary to Tony Clement, Ontario Minister of Health, ibid.

To be sarcastic when you say you are welcoming someone's views is a pretty terrifying thing to do as a politician.
--Sarah Polley, ibid.

The thing I'm proudest about Canada is that this is a country where there is universal access to health care.  When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, when I needed spinal surgery for scoliosis, the first question wasn't, "Where's your credit card?"  But this government is stripping that away.
--Sarah Polley, as quoted in the Globe & Mail, May 29th, 2001

Sarah Polley ("Jane") has declined Ontario Minister of Health Tony Clement's request to personally debate him on the subject of health care.  According to the May 29th issue of the Globe & Mail, Polley said the previous day

Challenging me to a debate is idiotic.  There are people who have been waiting around for a long time, people whose field this is, to have that debate.
Polley instead proposed Clement debate with an actual health professional.  Several media outlets have offered to host the debate, but only if Polley herself debates Clement.  Dismayed by the media's putting celebrity over substance, she was quoted as saying "I wasn't aware of how much of the news the media in fact creates themselves."

Meanwhile, back in the United States, Daria 3 was threatened again.  Although the current draft of the script reportedly pleases the studio executives, the state of the lead actor did not.  That Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") has gone from being bubbly to being a surly grouch over the course of a month has not escaped the notice of the Disney/Touchstone executives.  "Spaz" reports Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie, Jack Frost, Tomcats) was being seriously considered to replace Hewitt.  (Emphasis on was.)  Word got back to Hewitt, who then went to see the producer of Daria 3, Jerry Bruckheimer (Gone in 60 Seconds, Armageddon, Coyote Ugly, Pearl Harbor).  After breaking a door, Hewitt, still in a rage, explained very forcefully that she already had a contract and that she would bring serious bodily harm on anyone who tried to dump her from the film.  Bruckheimer then burst into applause, told her that she had demonstrated the kind of attitude he wanted to see in Daria for the film, and pledged to do everything to make sure no one questioned whether she would be in the film again.  He also commented that he liked the "Linda Hamilton look" she now sported.  Hewitt left being very confused.

Entertainment Tonight did a short piece two days ago on the official breakup between Hewitt and now ex-boyfriend Rich Cronin of LFO.  As expected, absolutely nothing of substance was said and Cronin appears to have been oblivious to what's been happening with his girlfriend.

I don't get it.  One minute she was this hot girl and she was like the best thing ever.  And suddenly for no reason she's yelling and throwing cake at me.  I can't believe I was with this girl.
--Rich Cronin


Sarah Polley at Music Alert

Sarah Polley ("Jane") is continuing with her social activism.  Last Thursday (May 24th) she cohosted Music Alert, a benefit concert towards opposing privatized health care in Ontario.  Unlike the United States, Canada has universal health care, though in recent years it has been threatened, much as other social programs have been cut back.  Polley encouraged the attendees to contact the relevant government officials and distributed their e-mail addresses and phone numbers.  More detailed articles in the Toronto Star can be found here and on Canoe ("Canada's Internet Network")here.

There was no public debate.  It's a lack of information that there isn't a huge fight right now against the private cancer care clinic.  Once people have the information... once they knew what was going on they were saying "of course" and felt the urgency of the situation.
--Sarah Polley

Reactions to Music Alert did apparently reach all the way into the intended political circles.  It was reported in The National Post that Ontario Minister of Health Tony Clement commented Wednesday (May 23rd) that

I'm very glad that Miss Polley was able to take some time off being in Cannes to be here on such an important matter of public policy, and I welcome her views.
Member of the provincial parliament for Niagara Centre Peter Kormos saw this as a slight against Polley's priorities and responded to Clement in a letter, saying
I read your snide comment about Sarah Polley in the National Post.  As Health Minister, you have no business making my stomach churn so early in the day.
Those wanting to see the full National Post article can find it here.

Stop being a pissant poseur and show some class.
--MPP Peter Kormos in a letter to Minister of Health Tony Clement

On Friday (May 25) Clement himself publicly challenged Polley to a debate on health care.  Polley at this time has not yet responded.  More of Clement's comments can be found here.

If she wants to participate -- and, again, the Canadian way to participate is not through illegal protests, is not through subjecting protesters to situations that we saw in Quebec City... [or] in Seattle -- I welcome her to it and I'd be happy to engage her in that
--Minister of Health Tony Clement, May 25, 2001

For those wanting an unusual memento of Jennifer Love Hewitt's ("Daria") past roles, an unopened Audrey Hepburn doll with its packaging signed by Hewitt is up for auction at All Star  All the money from the winning bid will go directly to the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation.

*5/20/01:  It's official:  The director of Daria 3:  Fashion Never Dies will be Ridley Scott.  Ridley, whose film Gladiator was the toast of the last Oscars, reportedly got an extra million dollars in his contract after he found out about the nasty comment someone made about Alien which was previously posted on this page.  As for writers, the script will be finished by Stephen E. de Souza (Judge Dredd, The Flintstones, Street Fighter, Die Hard 2) and Bruce Feirstein (The World Is Not Enough, Tomorrow Never Dies, Goldeneye).  The collaboration is a first for de Souza and Feirstein, who reportedly first met at a function and decided to pitch their ideas for Daria 3 together.  In the words of "KillerBod2000", "This is bound to get interesting."

And for those of you wanting to check out Daria 2:  The Curse of the Misery Chick in the privacy of your own homes (where no one else can see you), remember that it will be out on video and DVD on May 22nd.

"Imallthat" pointed us to an Associated Press article dated March 5th noting that Freddie Prinze, Jr. ("Skyler") ended up getting cortisone injected into his arm by a physical therapist.  Prinze hurt his arm pitching baseballs for four nights straight as part of filming his current project Summer Catch, in which he plays a minor league pitcher.  "Imallthat" made a few rude comments about Prinze, including about how he really hurt his arm.

It's like injecting Vaseline; it just does not want to come out of that needle at all.
--Freddie Prinze, Jr.

Maybe Freddie should switch antidepressants.

For those who are wondering if Christina Ricci ("Jane" in Daria and Daria 2) is still alive, given she's seemingly disappeared since Daria 2 came out, she will appear June 7th on the MTV Music Video Awards.  Ricci is scheduled to be a presenter, more than enough to let people know she still exists.  "OZPINHEAD" informs us that her latest film, Prozac Nation, hasn't been released yet because of problems with distribution but it will be out "any day now."  (In comparison, we are sure Alyson Hannigan ("Tiffany") can defintely be seen in American Pie 2, opening August 10th.)

Some Daria cast members seem to be making interesting career moves.  On Mother's Day (May 13th) ABC showed Child Star:  The Shirley Temple Story, which was executive-produced by none other than Melissa Joan Hart ("Brittany").

"Spaz" wanted us to know that when Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") pitched the idea for Cupid's Love back in 1998, New Line Cinema bought it from her for $500,000.  Remember, this was for something that was never made.  "Spaz" also reported the rumor that Hewitt would be replacing Shannen Doherty on the WB show Charmed.  Doherty, who has been playing one of a trio of sisters with magical powers, has quit the show, her last episode showing May 17th.  To quote her costar Holly Marie Combs, "Yeah, she's pulling another 90210.  We're never going to see her again."  Hewitt was mentioned as one possibility to replace Doherty in a poll on, a family-friendly search engine started by Alyssa Milano.  Last time we checked, Hewitt was the favorite, taking in slightly over half the votes.

More than a few entertainment "news" sources have reported on the recent public incident between Hewitt and her boyfriend, Rich Cronin.  Last Sunday night (13th) at Jerry's Famous Deli in Los Angeles, Hewitt and Cronin were having a late snack when the two got in a heated argument, some cheesecake got flung, and Hewitt stormed out.  "Dragonflies" claims to have actually been there at the time and filled in a few details for us:

To begin, Jennifer looked like crap.  I have never seen her look so unperky, not even in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.  She and Rich came in, placed their orders.  Rich just went on and on and on, he wouldn't shut up.  Jennifer was really quiet, politely nodding at first, not saying much, obviously not terribly interesting in what he was saying, which was mostly about himself.  Finally Jennifer said "Can you shut up for a moment?" and Rich was shocked.  And so now he's being indignant, Jennifer is berrating him, and finally she just yells something like "You have nothing to say, so just shut up, you f***ing moron!"  And that's when she lobbed her cheesecake in his face and Hewitt slammed the door as she stomped out.

Many of our informants tell us Hewitt has been keeping to herself mostly, seeing only a few close friends and her mother.  "Spaz" tells us she's also been trying to have heart-felt discussions with her housekeeper, who in turn has threatened to quit if Hewitt "doesn't stop being a creepy pest."

Somewhat less publicized is what Sarah Polley ("Jane") has been doing.  Aside from her political work (she reportedly got tear-gassed in Quebec City), several of our informants tell us that Polley will be taking a year off to study directing at the Canadian Film Centre in Toronto.  This decision probably was made some time before some of her recent experiences with the Daria 3 project.  "DinoMan2" and "BillyBob" claim Polley showed up in Los Angeles just to see Hewitt on the 8th, a few days before the breakup with Cronin (not to mention cutting it close before showing up at Cannes).  Wary of causing a scene, she convinced Scott Wolf to visit Hewitt first. (Wolf, who costarred with Polley in Go, also costarred with Hewitt on the series Party of Five.)  Wolf got admittance to the Hewitt residence, but found her "grouchy, no makeup, her hair a mess, not giving a damn about the giant fashion faux pas she was wearing."  The discussion was brief, and Wolf left with a message to Polley to "stay the f*** away."  "Anonymous" claims to have seen Polley at the airport trying to get a flight out that evening, looking clearly unhappy.

*5/6/01:  As of March 4th, a tenative agreement was reached between the Writers Guild of America and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. Although the agreement still has to be voted on by the members of the WGA, a strike has most likely been averted. Regarding the strike that never was, "ImperialSexWax" says, "Anything which keeps them from making more reality shows is a good thing."  Industry watchers hope this bodes well for when the contract between the Screen Actors Guild and the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, which expires June 30th.

Daria 3 is not dead yet. Disney/Touchtone executives seem determined to keep the project alive at any cost. (One wonders what sort of odd contract they have with MTV.) One of the big problems now, of course, is in replacing James Cameron, who was supposed to write and direct the thing. The studio still isn't very forthcoming about what's going on, and many conflicting rumors are popping up. Most of our informants insist Ridley Scott (Alien,Hannibal, Gladiator) has been tapped be the director, but, having done so well at the Oscars with Gladiator, he is slowing negotiations by asking for more money. Not everyone agrees this is what's going on, though. "SirDancealot" claims that Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, the French version of La Femme Nikita) will write and direct Daria 3. "Sicko_de_Mayo" has suggested that Tim Burton (Beetlejuice, Sleepy Hollow, the upcoming Planet of the Apes remake) has expressed some interest in the project. Other possibilies suggested, some of which we find rather unlikely and perhaps wishful thinking on certain people's parts, include McG (Charlie's Angels), David Cronenberg (The Fly,Crash, eXistenZ), Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), Spike Lee (Do the Right Thing, Malcom X,Bamboozled), Sam Raimi (the Evil Dead trilogy, The Gift, the upcoming Spider-Man), Rob Reiner (When Harry Met Sally, This Is Spinal Tap,North), Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski (Bound, The Matrix), Renny Harlin (Die Hard 2, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Deep Blue Sea, Driven), and Ron Howard (Splash, Backdraft, Ransom, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas).

Who will write the script is still uncertain as well, though "Spaz" claims the executives like the treatment James Cameron wrote enough that they want to use it as the basis for the film. Reportedly they have approached John August (Go, Charlie's Angels) to complete the script, but there is no word if he will sign on.

"DirkDiggler69," while looking through some old issues of the CANADA Bulletin, found an interview of Alyson Hannigan ("Tiffany") during the making of Daria 2: The Curse of the Misery Chick. The article contains a first-hand account of the feud that existed between Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") and Christina Ricci ("Jane" in Daria and Daria 2), confirming some of the rumors that have been circulating. You can find the entire article here.

"Bird_of_Paradise" told us, referring to an issue of TV Guide, that Hewitt's self-conceived movie project about a wedding planner falling in love with her client (titled Cupid's Love or Marry Me, Ms. Jane) is dead. Quoting from TV Guide:

Hewitt is developing other projects through her production company, Love Spell Entertainment; they include a spy comedy and a drama set against the backdrop of Kent State University in Ohio in 1970, when National Guardsmen fired on student demonstrators, killing four of them.

"The_Hook" sent us this article from Wall of Sound about the current state of Hewitt's music career; apparently she is going to be putting out another album. Says "The_Hook," "Jennifer Love Hewitt is to Japan as David Hasselhoff is to Germany. May God bless their music careers and keep them far away from us."

"Spaz" sent us this snippet from a recent issue of GQ that would seem to settle one rumor that's been going around:

[Jennifer] Love Hewitt once dared a journalist to check for silicone. 'Go back and tell everyone you felt them,' she suggested.

"Spaz"'s commentary: "Duh! Why would anyone with fake boobs wear a push-up bra?"

On a truly scary note, we regret to note to note that Napalm Krigbaum, talentless main author of the awful Daria:  The Motion Picture, has continued producing bad Daria (the animated series) fan-fiction, namely the dull "D: The Talk Show", and has recently released Daria!!, described as being a "D:  The Talk Show" movie.  (OK, it's no so recent, more like three weeks, but Nails has been too busy with the real world to write a review.)  Unfortunately, this movie script is no better than the first, including bad stereotyping, a blatant rip off from Aaron/Nails's "New Nightmare", and the superunfunny Tom Green.  We beg you, Napalm, stop writing.  We could use a good Daria movie, but you don't seem to have the talent needed.  Leave it people like Kara Wild and C. E. Foreman, who know what they're doing.

Finally, we would like to note that the rumors from 2000 have been moved to another file because this file had gotten over 100 KB.

*5/2/01: Multiple sources posted the news Sunday (April 30th) that bodes poorly for the future of the Daria movie franchise.  In the light of the recent visitation to the space station Alpha by Dennis Tito, who paid the Russian Space Agency $20,000,000 to fly him there and back, policy on space tourists is being revised.  Chief among those planning to visit Alpha is writer-director James Cameron, who wants to film an IMAX film and specials there.  Right now NASA and RSA are working out the details.  Cameron could be in space as early as late 2002.  Many of our informants tell us that Cameron doubted he would get into space so soon but he prepared for it anyway.  Given the need to spend perhaps eighteen months training beforehand, he ensured his agreement to make Daria 3 included what has been jokingly referred to as "the escape-velocity clause."  In short, Cameron is out, and the people at Disney/Touchstone have to go find themselves a new writer and director.  "LordDorko" states a list of replacements for Cameron are already being contacted and is confident that the project will begin filming this fall as planned.  Not everyone is so certain, though, and "Spaz" claims one Disney/Touchstone executive has spoken openly of cancelling the project.  Most pessimistically, "DirkDiggler69" claims that this will probably kill Daria 3, thanked us for the page, and invited everyone to come celebrate in Las Vegas this weekend; Dirk asks that those who wish to join the party please meet in the lobby of Caesar's Palace at 8:00 PM on Saturday.

Of course, even if a new director can be found, the film still can't be made if it's never written.  Today (May 2nd) at 12:01 AM PDT the contract for the Writer's Guild of America (WGA) with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) expired.  There were talks last night which continued to nearly 3:00 AM, followed by a break with talks continuing today at noon.  Issues under discussion include not only money (minimum pay, residuals, and video sales) but also involvement in making movies and that "A Film by" line the directors like to claim for themselves.  So far there is no strike, but unless the two sides agree upon a new contract soon, the WGA members are expected to ballot on whether or not to strike.  The potential crippling effects of a writers strike are made worse by the AMPTP's contract with the Screen Actor's Guild being set to expire on July 1.  Mayor Richard Riordian of Los Angeles has claimed a combined strike lasting through October would result in a loss of $6,900,000,000 for the area.  Several productions being developed in the midst of this mess, including the unnecessary Basic Instinct 2, are threatened, and Daria 3 is no exception.

Time is running out.  I call on the producers and writers to work together in a spirit of compromise and save tens of thousands of Los Angeles jobs from the cutting-room floor.
--Richard Riordian, mayor of Los Angeles, May 1, 2001

At this hour the talks are continuing, and we're working very hard to reach an agreement.  That's it.
--Cheryl Rhoden, WGA spokesperson, May 2, 2001, right after the WGA-AMPTP contract expired

Right now the studios have enough movies to take them through next February or March
--Jack Valenti, Motion Picture Association of America, May 1, 2001

According to Valenti, there's another ten months of crap in storage.
--Gillian Cantell, Cinematic Afficianados National Antidegredation Association, May 2, 2001

"Poobah" claims that discussions are (possibly were now) underway to add one more star to the cast with a cameo from Charlton Heston (The Ten Commandments, Planet of the Apes,Soylent Green, True Lies) as a government official.

Since our last posting, we have gotten several rumors about Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria").  "Fathead," "Spaz," "Bird_of_Paradise," and "Tom" claim Hewitt has been spending a lot of time clubbing lately.  According to "Fathead," supposedly a few days ago she was seen in a bar with her current beau, Rich Cronin of the group LFO.  Hewitt, who claims to have had a mere three sips of alcohol in her entire life, said she needed a drink.  At Cronin's suggestion she ordered a fuzzy navel, which she downed in about thirty seconds.  The result was instant drunkenness, and she had to be helped out while saying some incoherent things, including "Damn you Soho bitch!"  "Bird_of_Paradise" reports hearing that Hewitt is now screening her calls and has been seen not answering several on her cell phone.  "ImperialSexWax" sent us a rumor which we found "weird" for some reason.  We quote:

"A friend of mine who works on Rodeo Drive told me she saw Love Hewitt shopping there.  Love was coming out of a store when my friend decided to approach her and get an autograph.  Love suddenly turns around and ducks back into the store.  So my friend decides to go in after her, and immediately this person working there comes up to her and starts talking down to her as if she wasn't good enough to shop there.  She did, however, manage to overhear Love talking to another employee.  Love had just bought this pair of shoes, but she'd changed her mind.  The employee she was talking to asked if she wanted a different style or color, stuff like that.  Love said the shoes were fine.  What was wrong was that "I just don't need them."  And then this employee started going on about the merits of the shoes, what they went with, where it would be great to be seen in them, things like that.  Unfortunately this other person my friend was dealing with got severely obnoxious and she had to leave before she found out if Love ever kept the shoes."

*4/22/01:  The news since the last update has been, well, varied and wierd. As most of you know by now, Sarah Michelle Gellar ("Tanqueray" in Daria 2) and Freddie Prinze, Jr. ("Skyler" in Daria 3) are now engaged. The announcement was reportedly made April 14th at Gellar's birthday party. "Merton" lists this as one of the signs of the end of the world and cited one of Nostradamus' quatrains as evidence.

"Mr_Fuzz" reports the news that Jonathan Taylor Thomas ("Upchuck") will be returning to television on Fox in a show called American Soap, where he plays a freshman in a New England college town in which everyone harbors a secret. "Mr_Fuzz" suggested, given Thomas's near-invisibility since Home Improvement ended, that his character's secret is that he needs a better agent.

Ifilm has posted a list of actors classified as "cruisers" and "losers."  On the list of "cruisers" is Reese Witherspoon ("Stacy"), who is reported to have turned down the lead role in that film which launched Jennifer Love Hewitt to her current status, I Know What You Did Last Summer. On the "losers" list they put:

1) Wes Bentley (who had a cameo as Tom in Daria 2),

2) James Van Der Beek (one of the three J's),

3) Denise Richards ("Sandi"), who they've declared doomed because of The World Is Not Enough,

4) Leonardo DiCaprio ("Jesse"), who they report has been so into partying in Italy that he doesn't show up on time on the set of Gangs of New York

5) Freddie Prinze, Jr. (to be "Skyler" in Daria 3), and

6) Heather Graham (who had a cameo as Theresa in Daria 2.

The list can be found here.

Sarah Polley (left) and Naomi Klein in Quebec City. Picture courtesy of the Ottawa Citizen

And in more serious news, "LordDorko" wrote in about events revolving around the Summit of the Americas which took place last weekend in Quebec City. Supposedly about two weeks before Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") called Sarah Polley ("Jane") to ask her to join her at a party, trying her best to be friendly. Polley declined because she was going to be protesting the summit at the time. When Hewitt asked why Polley was protesting, the latter stated a few reasons, such as that it only served the interests of major corporations and that the Free Trade Agreement of the Americas would constitute undemocratic government. Hewitt was still confused, prompting Polley to explain at much greater length the issues of relevance to her. It eventually became clear that, while with some effort Hewitt could understand what Polley said, none of these issues had ever occurred to her. Hewitt became exceedingly upset halfway through the explanations, excused herself, hung up, and spent the rest of the day being "freaky" and refusing to talk to anyone. Polley was among a group who protested the security measures taken during the summit, arguing this violated people's right of expression and assembly. She was one of those who originated a petition to this effect which was delivered to Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretein with five-thousand signatures. The security measures included a wall four meters tall around a large portion of Quebec City and the deployment of six-thousand police officers.

As other news sources have reported, the summit did not go smoothly. Friday the start of the summut was delayed an hour when some of the more militant protesters tore down sections of a security fence; violence ensued between police and protesters, police with batons and tear gas, the protesters throwing cans, rocks, and bottles. Most of the estimated 30,000 protesters were by all accounts peaceful.

These individuals, these people do not represent the vast majority of those who have come to Quebec City in order to express peacefully and calmly their legitimate concerns.
--Jean Chretien, Prime Minister of Canada, April 20th, 2001.

Trade not only helps spread prosperity but trade helps spread freedom. So I would disagree with those who think that somehow trade is going to negatively affect the working people and people for whom hope doesn't exist in some places.
--George W. Bush, de facto President of the United States of America, April 20th, 2001. (He has apparently forgotten what has been happening in China, which has extensive trade with the USA but still has little political freedom and has "labor camps.")

It seems crazy that to voice your opinion you've got to come out with a gas mask.
--Jezebel McDonald, protestor, April 21st, 2001.

It is ironic to hear lessons from the foreign minister of a government which today is brutally repressing in the streets of Quebec the voices of a very important segment of its population.
--communique to the Canadian Foreign Ministry from Cuba, April 21st, 2001.

Incidentally Polley's latest film, The Claim, went into limited release on April 20th.
*4/17/01:  Shooting hasn't even begun and the production of Daria 3:  Fashion Never Dies is in trouble.  Entertainment news sources are reporting that with the looming deadlines and possible strikes for the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) and the Writers Guild of America (WGA), Touchstone has decided to delay production until August, supposedly because the project is more complicated than originally anticipated.

The actual story, of course, may be more complicated.  "DirkDiggler69" claims to have been stifled in his attempts to get a copy of the script by its lack of existence; supposedly James Cameron is lagging behind where he thought he would be in the writing.  Presumably when the WGA's contract with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) expires on May 1st, if there is a strike, Cameron will use the time to finish the script.  The contract talks are scheduled to resume between the WGA and the AMPTP are scheduled for April 17th, i.e., today.

"Fathead" claims that the choice of writer/director this time is part of a very sinister plot, and suggests we check out The James Cameron Conspiracy Theory.

*4/1/01:  Several details have emerged regarding the Daria 3 production.  Perhaps the biggest of these details is the movie will be written and directed by none other than James Cameron (Titanic, Aliens, True Lies, the Terminator movies).  A source who wishes to remain nameless said the studio is looking for something with a little more action (as if there wasn't enough of that in Daria 2).  Apparently Ridley Scott was under consideration also for director but lost out to Cameron when someone sat down, watched Alien, and remarked "You know, the people on Star Trek were never that stupid."  Production is supposed to begin this May.  "Gummo Wayans" claims that this will be the first movie in the series with nudity, this being on Jennifer Love Hewitt's part.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas ("Upchuck") and Reese Witherspoon ("Stacy"), both from the first movie, will be returning for the third installment.  "Spaz" claims this will be an attempt to return to earlier days of glory.  Neither has made terribly great career moves since Daria, Witherspoon appearing in Little Nicky and American Psycho and Thomas appearing in nothing anyone's ever heard of.  Known to be joining the cast of Daria 3 will be Jean-Claude Van Damme (Universal Soldier, Timecop) as Buzzcut, a psychotic teacher from Daria's old school in Highland, as well as Freddie Prinze, Jr. (She's All That, Head over Heels, I Know What You Did Last Summer) as billionaire and former classmate Skyler Feldman.  Most of the cast that survived Daria 2 is expected to return for the third installment.  "Fathead" claims there will be a return of John Travolta and Gates McFadden as Quinn's parents.  There's no indication if Keri Russell will be returning as Quinn.

An interesting rumor has surfaced about how Jennifer Love Hewitt is dealing with her new costar, Sarah Poley ("Jane").  Both Entertainment Tonight and Liz Smith have noted that Hewitt has been seen in several video stores in Los Angeles, not major ones like Blockbuster but small ones with comparatively offbeat and wider selections.  "Spaz" claims to have visited one of these stores and charmed the clerk there into revealing what Hewitt had been renting over the course of the past week:  Last Night, White Lies, The Sweet Hereafter, Guinivere, Exotica, and The Planet of Junior Brown, all movies with Polley in them.  "Maybe she's trying to understand Sarah better to avoid the debacle that took place with her and Christina [Ricci], "Spaz" suggested.  "Maybe she's studying her performances so she can be a better actor.  Maybe she's trying to confront her fears.  Then again, maybe we should remember that the last time she was caught buying anything in public, it was condoms."

Finally, we'd like to note that Hewitt appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brian on March 23.  Not only did she plug Heartbreakers, noting that she spent the filming "half-naked" and playing "a ho in training" (her words, not ours), but she also related an incident in which she was conned (a bit ironic, considering that she played a confidence artist in her most recent film).  It seems that someone played on Hewitt's sympathies, claiming that she had been abandoned by her friends, and managed to get $80 for cab fare and a meal out of the actress.  Though Hewitt's heart may be in the right place, her brain certainly wasn't; as she drove off, Hewitt's suspicions were aroused as she heard her benefactee pull out a cell phone and boast to someone getting $80 out of her.  This goes to show the danger of coupling a lot of empathy to insufficient intelligence.

*3/19/01:  Last Friday Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared on The Tonight Show to plug Heartbreakers.  Little of substance was said, other than for two days Hewitt's hair was attatched to Ray Liotta's fly and that phrase which will haunt her for the rest of her career:  "It's fun to be slutty."

"Fathead" reported on a rumor now circulating on how Sarah Polley got the part of Jane in Daria 3.  According to this informant, it began with negotiations over The Chess Garden.  The film, an ambitous attempt to adapt the novel of the same name by Brooks Hansen, is being developed by, of all people, John Malkovitch (Dangerous Liasons, Shadow of the Vampire, Being John Malkovitch) who is producing and starring in the lead role of Dr. Gustav Uyterhoeven.  Among those trying out for roles was Sarah Polley.  Polley ended up at a weekly poker game hosted Malkovitch and won several hands, costing his a considerable sum.  Finally, he got to the point of not having enough money to cover the current bid, so he dealed with Polley on trying out for Daria 3 and accepting the role if offered.  And that was when Malkovitch won with a straight flush.  Polley then tried out, doing as badly as she could, but somehow still did better than Angelina Jolie and Rachel Leigh Cook and was hired.  While the story sounds fanicful, it must be remembered that before another poker game, there was a different film project that was originally titled Being Jon Voight.

*3/12/01:  Last Saturday was a "sneak preview" of Heartbeakers, the new film starring Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria").  To save most of us the suspense, "Spaz" attended this showing and sent us this review:

The premise:  A mother-daughter con team have ninety days to come up with a pile of money to pay off the IRS.  They travel to Florida to pull a marriage con, and, not unexpectedly, things go awry.  In itself, this isn't a bad idea; the problem was that much of what went wrong was so predictable.  (I suppose I should start screaming "spoiler alert."  I might really care if the movie was worth seeing.  Oh, well...)  The con artists (played by Sigourney Weaver as the protective mother and Jennifer Love Hewitt as the pretty young thing in breast-emphasizing clothing), in going to Palm Springs, decide to pull their standard routine (mom marries rich guy, daughter gets rich guy in compromising position, big divorce settlement).  Mom wants to go after a wealthy multibillionaire dying from smoking cigarettes (played by Gene Hackman), but the daughter wants to go after someone cuter and ends up pursuing a con on someone who, it turns out, owns a bar worth three million dollars.  And so the story unfolds so you can see what's going to happen long before it does.  The mom impersonates a Russian, so of course the cigarette-smoking man takes her to a Russian restaurant where she has ample oopportunity to nearly blow her cover.  A guy from the beginning of the film who was a former mark pops up at an inopportune time; this might have been more surprising if they hadn't shown him deciding to go after Weaver's character.  The mom warns the daughter about the dangers of choosing a handsome, young mark, that she might fall in love with him; the daughter goes after a handsome, young mark, and lo and behold, she falls in love.  And so it all went for two hours to the inevitable ending where true love is able to win over a lifetime of the con game.  None of the characters were particularly interesting, not even a good scene-stealing minor character.  Hackman was repulsive but that was all he did.  After Hewitt's performance, I begin to wonder if she would sound unconvincing reading a grocery list. To be fair, there were funny moments, and it was less torturous than watching I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.  However, the same could be said for watching an episode of Friends.  Sorry, the rumors of Hewitt appearing topless did not come to pass, so there's no incentive there.  If you absolutely must see it, wait until video.  Otherwise, pass it up because there are much more interesting things to watch.
The links page has been slightly updated with respect to a number of fanfics borrowing from Daria (the movie) and Daria 2, but we are still woefully behind in this respect.

*2/19/01:  Numerous things have happened since our last update.  The least ridiculous of these is the announcement that the actress playing Jane Lane in Daria 3:  Fashion Never Dies will be Sarah Polley.  Exactly how this has happened is unclear, and official announcement did little to enlighten the situation.  Unlike Christina Ricci ("Jane" in Darias 1 and 2), Polley has spent most of her career almost entirely outside of the Hollywood mainstream, perhaps the penultimate indie queen.  However this happened, events have not boded well.  "Green Spring" reports that a first encounter occurred between Polley and Jennifer Love Hewitt ("Daria") when a studio executive introduced them at a party.  Hewitt didn't have the slightest idea who Polley was, but Polley had obviously looked up the relevant facts on Hewitt.  Polley tried to remain polite but after about five minutes into the conversation, she excused herself to go to the bathroom.  "Green Spring" followed and found Polley climbing out the bathroom window, all the while muttering "beasts, they're called breasts, damn it!"  Perhaps Hewitt should be thankful Angelina Jolie didn't get the part as she's the one who plays with knives.

Hewitt, incidentally, can be seen with Sigourney Weaver and Gene Hackman in The Heartbreakers, which opens on March 23rd.  She will play part of a team of con artists who swindle rich men.  Rumor has it this movie will suck.

Some of our favorite stars have publicly made spectacles of themselves.  Leonardo DiCaprio ("Jesse"), as everyone knows, recently threw horse manure at the paparazzi on the set of his current film project.  In the words of Army Archerd, Daily Variety Senior Columnist (2/1/2001):

Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz visited the "Gangs of New York'' extra in the hospital who was injured during filming on the Villa Borghese location in Rome Thursday. Two other players received minor injuries during the scene when a horse, drawing a wagon, bolted. But the duo did not require a hospital stay after being taken from the location by ambulance.  It was during the removal of the injured when paparazzi descended on the group and an irate DiCaprio heaved a container of horse manure at the paparazzi.  The film had been ducking them but Rome is the place where the term "paparazzi'' was born, y'know.  Film reps say the lensers have been hiding in men's and women's rest rooms, under tables, etc. and in this case, the reps says they were interfering with the victims being loaded into the ambulances--that's when Leonardo reportedly took umbrage--and aim.
DiCaprio also recently was nominated for worst actor in the Razzie Awards, though John Travolta and his Battlefield Earth are expected to pick up the most dishonors.

Rose McGowan ("Andrea") split up with her fiancee Marilyn Manson this January, no specific reasons being given.  "Spaz" claims this was due to him being jealous over attentions being lavished on her by DiCaprio, but somehow we're not buying it.  McGowan will be appearing in Monkeybone, the story of an imaginary monkey, the cartoonist who created him, and a cat woman with visible cleavage, opening February 23rd.

Those of you who haven't been dead will, of course, know that Traffic, a movie about drugs, has been doing very well at the box office in spite of it being good.  The movie has Michael Douglas ("Fleming") star as the US drug czar.  Somewhat easier to ignore has
been Valentine, which includes a part by Denise Richards ("Sandi").  It's standard horror fare, not the most original, but it does finally show a masked killer moving a body (only previously seen in Scary Movie) and suggests a possible filling for chocolates.  See it with someone you love.

Fans of the cartoon who remember the name Jackson Pollock may be interested to know that a film about him, Pollock, went into limited distribution on  Friday (February 16th).  Reviews generally indicate that this movie doesn't suck.  For more information,
look here.

We regret to report that we have been very negligent in keeping track of works derivative of Daria (the movie) and its sequel--indeed, we are not updating the links page this time due to time and effort constraints--but we would like to draw attention to the most ambitious attempt so far.  A group of fan-fiction authors, led by Napalm Krigbaum, has banded together to produce Daria:  The Motion Picture.  Their goal was to produce something closer to the original cartoon series than the previous live-action effort, and it is with much sadness that we must state that they did not succeed.  Though the basic premises were a lot closer to the original cartoon, the spirit was somehow lost.  Daria and Jane just weren't witty.  They were dull.  In fact, the whole script was dull.  Somehow, a missile hitting an airplane, which crashed in the jungles of Vietnam, was dull--a feat which is confusing since one of the screeplay authors, D. Debbs, is infamous for fan-fiction which, though severely controversial, is anything but boring.  Her influence shows up, unfortunately, in the repeated self-insertions, none of which contribute to what passes for a plot.  Much of what passes for the plot involves Ms. Li putting her most "troublesome" students (including Daria and Jane, of course) on a plane heading for an exchange program in Vietnam and bribing the Chinese to shoot the plane down with a missle (where she got the money, we do not know), which also doesn't quite do what it's supposed to and causes the aforementioned plane crash.  The Vietnamese, in the worst traditions of stereotyped writing, turn out to be merciless killers without exception.  Oddly enough, this is the good part; everything goes downhill from there.  "Geography" wrote us, "At least Daria (the movie) and Daria 2:  The Curse of the Misery Chick were amusingly bad.  This was just... bad.  Save us, C.E. Foreman!  Save us!"

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Of course, if you didn't read it at the top of the page, do note that this is all an elaborate parody...