Commercial Transcript

HEWITT

(trying to emotionally mute and failing miserably)

I can't believe some of the movies they put out these days.

RICCI

Tell me about it.  Ninety percent of everything coming out of Hollywood is total trash.

HEWITT

An industry plagued with incompetence.  Usually the writer can't even think of a premise, so they find some book they've read, or some movie they've seen before, or even some show on television, often a good one.

RICCI

Then they go through that work and try to redefine it as their own.

HEWITT

They come up with their own lame-ass story which would never make the original series.

RICCI

They warp the characters, usually towards the simplistic and polar extremes.

HEWITT

They bend, fold, and mutilate relationships.

RICCI

And whatever was in the original that made it special, whatever magic it had, whatever point it was trying to make...

HEWITT

They gut it...

RICCI

Suck the life out of it...

HEWITT

Until all you have is a pale resemblance of the original which would send the original authors running away screaming.

RICCI

And then they add stuff they thought the original was lacking.  Violence.

HEWITT

Profanity.

RICCI

Sex.

HEWITT

Lots of sex.

RICCI

Make relationships out of what were mere flirtations and innuendoes.

HEWITT

And what you end up with is abhorred by the fans and an insult to the movie-going public.

RICCI

And all so they can go laughing to the bank.

HEWITT

Bastards.

RICCI

Don't mince words, Daria.

HEWITT

Jane, if they ever make a movie about us, I think I'll have some people in Hollywood to kill.

RICCI

Count me in.