Eggcelent

Daria was sitting in the living room reading Max Caulfield's The Easter Rebellion. Quinn and the Fashion Club were in the kitchen busily chattering. Suddenly, there was a cracking sound. Daria glanced up and cocked an eyebrow.

SANDI: (From the kitchen, annoyed:) Sta-cy! You've dropped another egg!

TIFFANY: (Ditto from the kitchen:) Ewwww...Staaacy...that yolk is...gross...(gets a napkin from the table, wipes up the yolk)

STACY: (Also from the kitchen, cowering:) Oh, I'm so sorry, Sandi! It just seems so hard to put the needle in both ends of the egg, and get the yolk out! (Daria narrows an eye at this, decides to rise up from her seat, goes to the kitchen doorway, leans against it, watches with her arms crossed. The others don't notice her)

QUINN: (Smiles. She's already created a few eggs:) It's okay, Stacy! Let me show you how to do it! (Comes over, gets another egg from the carton, begins to do what she's describing:) You take an egg, daintily pick it up like this between your fingers. Then, you take the needle, and put a small hole in the narrow end of the egg, and a slightly larger hole in the other end. You, like, then move the pin around in the egg to loosen up the icky and nasty yolk stuff so you can blow it out the large end.

STACY: (Wide-eyed, disgusted expression:) Y-You mean, I have to p-put my mouth on it, and b-blow it out, Quinn? (Daria smirks at Stacy's description, which comes close to you-know-what)

QUINN: (Nods:) That's right, Stacy. You just blow out the yolk into the bowl, here, from the narrow end, really quick. You won't get any of the stuff on your, ew, mouth. (Gives her the egg:) Go on, it's easy.

Stacy took the now-penetrated egg, and stared at it, aghast. She quietly put the narrow end of it to her mouth, and started to blow into the bowl. Daria formed a tiny, wicked grin. Perfect. Suddenly, Daria screamed:

DARIA: HEY, GUYS! THERE'S A SALE AT CASHMANS IN THE NEWSPAPER! 75% OFF EVERYTHING!

At this, Quinn, Sandi, and Tiffany became really excited, rushing past Daria to get to Cashman's. Stacy, however, dropped the egg, wide-eyed. She held her mouth, and blasted into the half-bath off from the kitchen. After a second, there was retching sound from the half-bath. Daria couldn't help but to smile broadly.

STACY: (From the half-bath:) Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I can't believe I just swallowed a whole, raw, egg yolk! (Retching sounds are heard again)

Daria turned away from the doorway, and went to the cell phone on the coffee table. She picked it up, and dialed Jane's.

JANE: (From ther end:) Yo!

DARIA: (Smirks:) Hey, Jane. Pay up. I made one of the Fashion Clubbers chuck up egg yolk.

JANE: Dammit! (Chuckles:) Which one, amiga?

DARIA: Stacy. (Turns phone in the direction of Stacy's retching, and now wailing)

JANE: Yeesh. I thought you'd at least go after the others.

DARIA: Nah. Quinn knew how to make Easter eggs from our aunt Rita. I overheard that Sandi also knew how, and Tiffany's too dense to know what an egg is. Stacy was the perfect patsy.

JANE: Good point. Let's go out for pizza, and I'll pay off the bet there.

DARIA: Okay. I'll be over in a few.

JANE: Gotcha. (Hangs up)

Daria clicked off her phone, and tossed it back on the couch. She looked as if she were going to leave, but turned back towards the kitchen. After a moment, she spoke loudly.

DARIA: Stacy?! It's Daria! Can you come out here for a moment, please?! A scant second later, a sickly and dazed Stacy appeared at the kitchen doorway, holding her stomach.

DARIA: Um, you know, I read that eggs are eggcellent for shiny hair.

STACY: (Hopeful expression:) R-Really, Daria?

DARIA: Yep. Plenty of protein in eggs to strengthen it. (Reaches into her jacket pocket, takes out a paper, gives it to her) Here's a recipe for a protein shake. It'll give you an edge over the others for shinier hair if you don't tell them. You don't have to thank me, it'll be our little secret. (Smirks) See ya. Be sure to clean up before you go. (Leaves out of the front door to a now-slowly smirking Stacy.)