A Daria Christmas ficlet by wyvern


"They're adorable!" exclaimed Quinn in delighted surprise. "Look at their little eyes...and this blue one almost looks like it's got arms and legs...and a nose! the pink one looks almost like a...a flower or something! Daria, I can't believe it -- you actually got me something cute for Christmas!"

Quinn set the pair of presents from her older sister down amid the torn remnants of festively colored gift wrap and scraps of tissue paper left over from the Christmas morning gift opening and frowned across the room at her. "Okay, what's the catch?" she asked warily.

"Catch?" asked Daria innocently.

"You know, catch," Quinn clairfied. "You always do something to trick me or embarrass me or gross me out for Christmas. These little plush toys you gave me look cute...okay, what do they do? Give me a rash? Make my hair fall out? Squirt acid?"

"No, Quinn, they're just what they look like," replied Daria. "Smallish plush toys."

"Well, they are..." thankfully, Quinn trailed off rather than saying "cute" again. "I especially like the blue one. I think I'll name it--"

"Oh, they already have names. They came with them," Daria interrupted. "The blue one's name is Porphyromonas gingivalis, and the pink one's Trichophyton mentagrophytes."

"Porphy...Porphyruh...I'll never remember all that! I'll bet those aren't even real names, anyway!" said Quinn. "I mean, it's not like any real animals look like these do!"

"Oh, they're modeled on real creatures, all right," Daria assured her. "I just gave you the scientific names of them, that's all."

"Well, okay, Miss Brain," retorted Quinn, "why don't you tell me their real names!"

"You can call the pink one Athlete's Foot and the blue one you're fond of Bad Breath," said Daria, with the faintest hint of a smile. "And you can always remember that I gave them to you for Christmas -- sis."




Daria and all ancillary characters are the property of MTV/Viacom. I just borrow them once in a while for strictly non-profit purposes.

The plush toys Daria gave Quinn are based on real items, the Giant Microbe line of toys, available at/from