"Daria, Interrupted"
a fanfic set in the "Real" Daria Universe
by Michelle Klein-Hass and Shelby McGowan
from ideas by Shelby McGowan
ACT I, PART I
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - NIGHT
The
song "Crazy" as performed by Willie Nelson fades up, then
out.
ANGLE ON: DARIA
As
she lays on her side in the old, uncomfortable twin bed.
She
is reading "A Critique Of Pure Reason" by Immanuel Kant.
The
sound of an old, past-prime central air conditioner
wheezing and clanking is the loudest sound you hear, until...
LOQUETA (O.S.)
Yo sucka! Don't you put your hands on me!
I'll sue your ass for sexual harassment!
Yo' ass is in big trouble!
DARIA
(sotto voce)
Oh god...
LOQUETA (O.S.)
(louder)
AAAAAAAAAGH!!! YOU PIGS!!! AAAAAAAGH!!!
DAMMIT!!!
LOQUETA'S voice trails off.
DARIA (V.O.)
Time passes extremely slowly in the 2
East Ward. Aside from the screaming of my
dear roommate Loqueta, the only sound you
can hear is the damn air conditioner
trying to cool the searing air outside. I
was never fond of the outdoors, and
particularly never fond of muggy hot
summer nights, but anything is better
than here. Nine days and nine nights in
Bedlam. It could make an outdoorsy jock
even out of me. To think this all started
because of Jane's damn cat...
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
LANE HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - MORNING
The
Lane family cat, Zachary, is wedged in the wall, a few
feet
from where JANE and TRENT'S dad Vincent knocked a big
hole
in it. JANE, TRENT, TOM and DARIA are looking at the
wall.
JANE
You know Dad, right...he never finishes a
home improvement job he starts.
DARIA
We're going to get to school on time,
right?
ZACHARY (O.S.)
MROWWWRRRRRR....
DARIA
Yeah, that's your Dad alright. I guess
that's where you get it from, Trent.
TRENT
(perturbed)
Get what?
DARIA
Your ability to stay on-task, for one
thing. Remember the multimedia project?
TRENT
Never going to let me live that down,
huh?
JANE
Nope.
ZACHARY (O.S.)
MWOWWWWRRRRR....
TOM
I've got an idea...fry a fish nearby.
JANE
We tried that. He wouldn't budge. OK,
who's got the smallest hands?
The
four of them extend a hand, and it becomes clear that
DARIA'S child-sized hands are the smallest.
DARIA
Guess who drew the short straw. Me.
DARIA sighs and walks towards the hole in the wall.
It
is clear that DARIA is actually short enough to walk
partially into the hole.
DARIA enters the hole.
INT
LANE HOUSE, INSIDE THE WALL - MORNING
ANGLE ON: ZACHARY
He's
wedged in there pretty good.
ANGLE ON: DARIA
As
she reaches her arms towards the big fat cat.
ANGLE ON: ZACHARY
As
he flexes one free paw to strike!
CUT TO:
INT
LANE HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - MORNING
JANE, TRENT and TOM are watching DARIA wiggle around in the
hole, half in, half out, when...
ZACHARY (O.S.)
MWRAWWW PFFFFFTT!!!!!
DARIA (O.S.)
OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
TOM
That can't be good.
TRENT
I'll go get the Iodine.
JANE
You would, wouldn't you. I'll get
everything else.
CUT TO:
INT
LANE HOUSE, BATHROOM - MORNING
JANE
is washing DARIA'S arm off. There are four parallel
scratches on it...they look pretty deep and nasty.
DARIA
Well, at least I got your damn cat free.
JANE
Mucho appreciado.
DARIA
No problem.
JANE
Do you think we should take you to the
hospital? These might require stitches.
DARIA
Please, no more needle-like objects.
Hospitals and I just don't get along. I
want to just bandage myself up and get to
school.
JANE
Damn. And I have a math test I would love
to get out of.
DARIA
Sorry to disappoint.
JANE
Anyway, Trent's going to drive us to
school to make up some time. We might
miss first period but we'll definitely
get there for second period.
DARIA
Great. Mr. O'Neill. At least we can ease
into our school day rather than be jarred
into it by Mr. DeMartino.
CUT TO:
INT
LAWNDALE HIGH, O'NEILL'S CLASSROOM - DAY
Intro to "Crazy" by Seal up and out.
Mr.
O'Neill is writing notes on the blackboard about Sylvia
Plath's "The Bell Jar."
O'NEILL
Now, when reading "The Bell Jar," Ms.
Plath's own despair which led to her
tragic suicide is very apparent. This is
a harrowing read. If any of you are
suffering from depression, I will give
you an alternate assignment. All you have
to do is ask after class.
SFX:
Bell rings.
O'NEILL (CONT'D)
OK, see you tomorrow after you've read
the first chapter.
ANGLE ON: DARIA
As
she turns to leave. The bandages on her left arm are very
obvious.
ANGLE ON: O'NEILL
As
his expression turns to alarm.
O'NEILL (CONT'D)
Daria?
DARIA
Uh, yeah...
O'NEILL
Come here, we have to talk.
MS:
DARIA AND O'NEILL
As
DARIA walks over to the desk.
DARIA
Mr. O'Neill, you have no reason to worry
about my reading this. I'm not depressed.
I'm just a realist.
O'NEILL
It's not just that, Daria. It's your arm.
I saw the bloody bandages. What happened?
DARIA
I helped Jane get her cat out of a tight
spot. And no good deed goes unpunished.
O'NEILL
You see, Daria, I have had girls in my
classroom who...uh, this is kinda hard
for me to say without getting the
creeps...cut themselves.
DARIA
Oh brother. I helped rescue a cat. And
now you think I practice self-mutilation
all the sudden! (sighs)
O'NEILL
You do fit a profile.
DARIA
Let me guess. You went to one of those
teachers' workshops about teenage
depression recently.
O'NEILL
At the very least, let the school nurse
see this.
DARIA
Fair enough. At least it will get me out
of Trig.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
LAWNDALE HIGH, NURSE'S OFFICE - DAY
The
SCHOOL NURSE has removed DARIA'S bandages. She is looking
at
the gashes in DARIA'S arm with a lighted magnifying glass.
O'NEILL is close by.
SCHOOL NURSE
My, those look bad. Deep. And such clean
cuts too!
DARIA
That's cat scratches. Just cat scratches.
SCHOOL NURSE
A cat scratch isn't this deep or this
clean. That looks like a razor cut.
O'NEILL
(dramatically)
Just as I feared...
DARIA
(bewildered)
This isn't happening. This isn't
happening.
SCHOOL NURSE
I'll go get Ms. Li and Mrs. Manson.
O'NEILL
I'll stay by Daria's side. She needs me.
DARIA
You make an awful lot of assumptions, Mr.
O'Neill.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT.
LAWNDALE HIGH, MS. LI'S OFFICE
O'NEILL, MS. MANSON and the SCHOOL NURSE are standing behind
DARIA, who is seated in a chair in front of MS. LI'S desk.
MS.
LI has a very grave expression on her face, as does
O'NEILL and the SCHOOL NURSE. DARIA is just bemused.
MS. LI
Sooooo, Ms. Morgendorffer...what seems to
be the trouble?
DARIA
Uh, I got scratched by a cat. That's all.
Nothing sinister about it.
MS. LI
Are you suuuuuuure?
O'NEILL
I have seen this before. And after the
symposium I took in psychological warning
signs recently, I am fairly confident
that Daria may be harming herself.
MS. LI
Let's hear from the expert...Ms. Manson?
MS. MANSON
Well, Daria has gone through our Self
Esteem class, and there have been some
reports of Daria exhibiting some trouble
signs in the past. I have not examined
her thoroughly recently, but she does
indeed fit a profile of potential teen
depression.
MS. LI
And also, there is the potential of
exposing Laaaawndale High to legal
liability if we fail to act in the face
of this evidence. And the budget here
cannot survive another lawsuit like the
one we won on behalf of Mr. DeMartino
recently...hmmf! So we must proceed
proactively here. I'll contact Ms.
Morgendorffer's parents right now.
CUT TO:
HELEN MORGENDORFFER'S OFFICE - DAY
The
phone rings.
HELEN
Marianne, would you please get that, I'm
busy reading this contract!
MARIANNE
I'm on it...
MARIANNE picks up the phone.
MARIANNE (CONT'D)
Hello?
You
hear muffled speech over the phone, PEANUTS style.
MARIANNE (CONT'D)
Daria WHAT?
More
muffled speech.
MARIANNE (CONT'D)
WHAT?
Still more muffled speech.
MARIANNE (CONT'D)
I'll get Helen on the phone right away.
MARIANNE puts the phone on hold.
MARIANNE (CONT'D)
Helen, it's Ms. Li at the High School. It
sounds like an emergency.
HELEN
A real emergency or something that you
can handle on my behalf?
MARIANNE
(indignant)
Mrs. Morgendorffer...it seems like
your daughter Daria has made an attempt
on her life. If that isn't a real
emergency I don't know what is.
HELEN blanches and darts over to grab the phone.
MONTAGE
HELEN MORGENDORFFER'S OFFICE - DAY
The
beginning of "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osborne is heard, and
most
of the song plays over the montage.
HELEN talks on the phone, looks worried.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT.
LAWNDALE EXPRESSWAY - DAY
HELEN weaves her car in and out of traffic...she's
desperately trying to get to DARIA at the High School
CUT TO:
INT.
LAWNDALE HIGH, MS. LI'S OFFICE - DAY
HELEN arrives, winded. She runs to DARIA and gives her a hug.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT.
CEDARS OF LAWNDALE HOSPITAL, PSYCH WARD - AFTERNOON
HELEN brings DARIA in, and DARIA is examined.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
CEDARS OF LAWNDALE HOSPITAL, PSYCH WARD - AFTERNOON
HELEN is given a slip of paper.
ANGLE ON: SLIP OF PAPER
It
has the address, "Lighthouse Hospital, 233 Lawndale
Heights Rd., near the RX Plex."
CUT TO:
EXT
LAWNDALE EXPRESSWAY - AFTERNOON
HELEN is driving DARIA to the hospital. DARIA looks at HELEN
and
grimaces.
CUT TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, INTAKE - AFTERNOON
DARIA is grilled by several people, some wearing white coats,
some
wearing "business casual" clothing. One thing you see a
lot
of is DARIA shaking her head "No."
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - NIGHT
"Crazy Train" fades out.
You
see DARIA, still reading Kant.
DARIA (V.O.)
So this is how I got here. The worst part
of it all is that here I am, a person who
prides herself on being an individual, a
non-conformist, suddenly conforming to
something. A stereotype. I read the
papers. I watch the sensationalist news
magazines on TV. Even Sick, Sad World was
not above doing breathless exposes about
teens wrongfully committed to adolescent
mental hospitals. I had hoped the day
would never come, but it had. Yet another
non-conformist teenager committed to a
looney bin. My life had just become a
cheap cliche. Great.
DARIA sighs and flops face down on the bed, casting the copy
of
Kant to the floor.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF ACT I, PART I
ACT II, PART I
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, GROUP THERAPY ROOM - DAY
"Young Women's Group" is on. DARIA is sitting there watching
the
fireworks.
LOQUETA
It's racism, man. It's racism. Why is it
that I'm the only black woman on the ward
and I never get my status upgraded, and I
always get static from the orderlies?
DR. WALDEN
Could it be that your behavior is the
problem?
LOQUETA
You don't know, man. You're a White man
who probably never grew up with a momma
on crack and a daddy who you never even
seen!
DR. WALDEN
Some people come from good homes, some
people come from dysfunctional homes.
However, this doesn't have to be destiny.
You always have a choice to better your
life. Anyone have any comments?
KATHY
This self-pity crap is making me sick.
TRISH
Yeah. Get over it.
DR. WALDEN
Do you have anything to say to Loqueta,
Daria?
DARIA
(sighs)
No, not really. She has a point, though.
The rest of us are white people from the
suburbs. We haven't a clue as to what
she's been through.
DR. WALDEN
(sing-songy tone)
You're talking like an enabler, Daria.
DARIA
I don't approve of her behavior. However,
we all have baggage from our childhood.
Some more than others. Ridicule is no way
to help a person through.
DR. WALDEN
(patronizing)
Mmkay. So how have you been, Daria?
DARIA
I'm stuck here for nothing. Just because
teachers at my school suddenly lost all
semblance of reason when they saw my arm
clawed up by Jane's cat...
DR. WALDEN
They told us that you have had self
esteem issues and that you appear to have
been mutilating yourself.
DARIA
I helped my friend Jane get her cat out
of a crawlspace. The thanks I get is claw
marks on my arm and a cell in a loony
bin.
DR. WALDEN
Number one, you have a room here, and
this is a therapeutic environment, not a
DR.
WALDEN makes "quote" gestures with his fingers
DR. WALDEN (CONT'D)
looney bin.
DARIA
OK, I don't go along with your
politically-correct euphemisms.
DR. WALDEN
Why do you feel the need to judge this
place?
DARIA
I don't belong here.
DR. WALDEN
Denial is not just a river in Egypt,
Daria.
DARIA
I'm not in denial, dammit!
DARIA'S eyes go wide as she realized what she just said.
DR. WALDEN
Ah. Those are telling words, Daria.
Comments, ladies?
TRISH
You don't have to be ashamed, Daria. This
isn't High School. We don't judge, we
don't criticize. We help each other get
over our problems.
KATHY
Yeah, Daria. You're safe to say anything
here. Cutting makes you feel less pain,
doesn't it? I know that's why I do it.
DARIA
I don't cut.
KATHY
C'mon Daria, you know you do. Admit it to
yourself. Free yourself.
DARIA
For the last damn time I don't cut!
DR. WALDEN
Let's go on here. Daria will come out of
her denial when she's ready. I just have
to remind you that your defensive
behavior in Group is going to mean you
aren't going to move on to the next level
and more privileges.
DARIA
So that's it. If I don't tell you what
you want to hear, I stay on Level One for
the rest of my stay. You know, this place
operates more like a prison than like a
hospital. Then again, I go to Lawndale
High, which is operated more like a
prison than a school.
DR. WALDEN
(clearing throat)
OK, how are you doing, Kathy? Do you
still feel compulsions to harm yourself?
KATHY
Yeah, but I'm working on it. The meds
seem to be working.
DR. WALDEN
That's good to hear! Well done.
DARIA (V.O.)
Yep. I hit the nail on the head, didn't
I? Say what they want to hear, and you
get privileges. Don't say what they want
to hear, or call them on their BS, and
you stay at Baby Level. Kathy's on her
way out of here. She knows how to work
it. My problem is this...I don't lie very
well and moreover I don't want to learn
to lie very well. It's a life skill that
certainly has served my mother well, and
that Quinn knows and uses to her
advantage. Well, maybe I can take a short
nap for the rest of Group.
DARIA closes her eyes.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, COMMON ROOM, 2 EAST - EVENING
DARIA is sitting on a couch, waiting for her visitors. There
is
the sound of a buzzer, and she gets up and looks out the
door
at the entry door. Through the windows, she sees JANE
and
TRENT.
ANGLE ON: DARIA
Her
eyes light up a little.
ANGLE ON: DOOR
As
JANE and TRENT are let in. DARIA walks over to them, and
they
all hug. The three of them walk back into the COMMON
ROOM.
JANE
You certainly seem happy to see us.
DARIA
Right now, I'd be happy to see Upchuck,
I'm so bored here.
JANE
Maybe you are in the right place after
all.
DARIA
Bite me.
JANE
I'm just making the observation that
nobody in their right mind would be happy
to see Upchuck. The space cowboy. The
gangster of love. Upchuck, who speaks of
the pompatus of love.
TRENT
Hey...speak of the pompatus of love.
Great song lyrics.
JANE
You're a little late to claim it. By
about 25 years. Steve Miller.
TRENT
Damn.
The
three sit down on a battered, stained, but still
overstufffed couch.
DARIA
Glad you could make it.
JANE
Of course. Nobody likes being cooped up
in a hospital. It's lonely and it's
boring.
DARIA
Yeah. The boredom is the worst. I don't
even have privileges yet to watch Sick,
Sad World...usually I have to watch Funky
Videos because that's on at the same time
and Loqueta hogs the TV.
TRENT
Ooh...bummer.
DARIA
I mean, I like some of it, but it's just
overkill, you know?
JANE
Word is getting around about you being in
here.
DARIA
(blanches)
You didn't tell everyone...
JANE
Ms. Li made an announcement, requesting
that everyone "pray for Daria."
DARIA
Oh god.
JANE
God had nothing to do with it. O'Neill
takes the blame for this one.
DARIA
Yep.
ANGLE ON: DOOR
HELEN and JAKE are seen at the entrance.
DARIA (CONT'D)
Oh wow...Mom and Dad. They only allow me
to have two visitors at a time. So you've
got to go back to the lobby. This won't
take too long.
JANE
OK...we'll be back.
DARIA
Please.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, ART ROOM - THE NEXT DAY
"Low
Self-Opinion" by the Rollins Band up and out.
DARIA is sitting working with a lump of clay. MS. COLLIER,
the
art therapist, is winding her way through the room.
DARIA begins to see a shape in the clay...the big grey Maine
Coon
mix cat that was the source of all the trouble she now
found herself in.
MS. COLLIER
Ah, Daria...such a delightful looking
cat! I volunteer at a cat rescue when I'm
not working here. Maybe when your
privilege level goes up I can get you a
pass to come visit the rescue...
DARIA
That will never happen. I don't say what
the staff want me to say, particularly
what my Doctor here wants me to say. So
I'm probably going to be stuck at Level
One until someone springs me.
MS. COLLIER
Why do you say that?
DARIA
Because I shouldn't be here. I know
that's the truth. The reason I am here is
because of a colossal misunderstanding.
Everyone thinks I am depressed. No, all I
am is a sarcastic realist who doesn't
walk around with a fake-ass smile and a
perky personality. I was clawed on the
arm by my best friend's cat, and everyone
at Lawndale High jumped to conclusions
and thought that I was cutting myself
with razors.
MS. COLLIER
Can I take a look at your arm?
DARIA
Why should I?
MS. COLLIER
I work at a cat rescue. I also work at
the teen ward of a private psychiatric
hospital.
Believe me, I have seen both self
mutilators and the victims of cat
scratches. I can tell the difference.
CUT TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, BATHROOM NEAR ART ROOM - DAY
DARIA takes off the bandages. The claw marks have scabbed
over.
DARIA
Unlike my disturbed psyche, the wounds
seem to be on their way to healing.
MS. COLLIER
Very funny, Daria. Let me take a look.
MS.
COLLIER takes out a magnifying glass and looks.
DARIA
Well?
MS. COLLIER
You weren't lying.
DARIA
You see, that's one of the problems. I'm
not a good liar.
MS. COLLIER
Come again?
DARIA
I can't even lie to myself. Some Queen of
Denial I make.
MS. COLLIER
So the Doctor thinks you're in denial.
DARIA
In denial about being a chronically
depressed self-mutilator with a bad case
of low self-esteem. If I didn't have such
low self-esteem, a diagnosis like that
would really get me down.
MS. COLLIER
(snickers a little)
I think I know what's really going on
here. Have you thought of contacting the
County Office of the Patient Advocate?
DARIA
Who's that?
MS. COLLIER
Well, the person who is there to sort
mistakes like this out.
DARIA
You believe me?
MS. COLLIER
You said it yourself. You don't know how
to lie.
FADE OUT.
ACT III, PART I
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, OFFICE OF THE CEO - DAY
DR.
ROBERT MILLS, the head of Lighthouse Hospital, is having
an
informal meeting with DR. WALDEN.
DR. MILLS
So, Theo, how's things in the Teen
Program?
DR. WALDEN
Well, there are several boys in 2 West
but the population of the girls in 2 East
is beginning to slip. We're going to lose
a few.
DR. MILLS
Why?
DR. WALDEN
Well, there are two who are going to max
their health insurance in a couple of
days.
DR. MILLS
Ah, that's too bad. No parents signing
their kids out, though, right?
DR. WALDEN
That hasn't happened in a while.
DR. MILLS
Good, good. And of course, we have our
County patients too...
DR. WALDEN
Yes, Loquita, Tony and Javier are our
little bank accounts, aren't they?
DR. MILLS
Yes indeed. Any new kids?
DR. WALDEN
Just Daria Morgendorffer so far. Also
another girl, her name escapes me, who's
coming in this afternoon.
DR. MILLS
Ah, that's too bad. Only two new
patients? You're slipping, Theo.
DR. WALDEN
Bob, please. What do I do, pull them out
of the mall?
DR. MILLS
That might not be a bad idea. We'd
probably have some legal problems,
though.
DR. WALDEN
Yeah.
DR. MILLS
What does Daria's case look like?
DR. WALDEN
Well, for one thing the mother has very
good health insurance. We could get a few
months out of them.
DR. MILLS
Good, good. What's your prognosis, then?
DR. WALDEN
She's a real hard case. She needs
intensive therapy to get over some very
profound disturbances. She's a self
mutilator and possibly suicidal.
DR. MILLS
No, really.
DR. WALDEN
Not sure. She might legitimately be
disturbed, but I think she might just be
a bright but disaffected loner kid.
However, gotta stick to the diagnosis.
Probably when her insurance runs out,
she'll be fine. Probably if she never
came here, she'd work out fine. But of
course, if she never came here, she
wouldn't be a source of income.
Both
DR. MILLS and DR. WALDEN laugh.
DR. MILLS
I like your attitude. That's why I put
you in charge of the Teen program.
DR. WALDEN
My attitude has served me well over the
years. It's certainly kept my wallet nice
and fat.
DR. MILLS
So, will I be seeing you at the Country
Club this weekend?
DR. WALDEN
Sure. You're buying drinks at the
Nineteenth Hole, right?
DR. MILLS
Of course.
FADE OUT.
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - DAY
"Another Brick In The Wall, Part II" by Pink Floyd up and
out.
DARIA is taking a nap. While she sleeps, her roommate packs
and
leaves.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - DAY
DARIA is still napping. TERRI, one of the Interns, has
brought in the new girl.
TERRI
Daria? It's 2pm, and you're still asleep?
DARIA
Not much else to do around here.
TERRI
Your new roommate has arrived.
DARIA gets up, rubs her eyes, and puts on her glasses.
POV:
DARIA
As
she sees, through bleary eyes, STACY, usually of the
Fashion Club.
DARIA
What are you doing here?
STACY
What are you doing here?
DARIA
Haven't you heard? Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill
think I'm depressed and that I self
mutilate.
STACY
Well...last night I tried to kill myself.
DARIA looks at STACY, thunderstruck.
DARIA
What happened?
STACY
Sandi stole my boyfriend, and my mom
spilled bleach all over my nice new
outfit. I also failed Algebra and English
Lit, and I'm definitely going to have to
go to Summer School this year. I couldn't
take it...it was all just too much.
DARIA
(sighs)
Number one, no guy is worth your life. No
outfit is worth your life. You can always
study and push your grade up. None of
this is worth killing yourself over.
STACY starts to cry.
DARIA (CONT'D)
Oh jeez...Stacy, don't cry. I'll help you
through this. You're not alone.
DARIA gets up and gives STACY a hug.
ANGLE ON: DARIA
You
see DARIA wince as she hugs the sobbing fashion fiend.
DARIA (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Although I wish I was still alone here.
FADE TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, GROUP THERAPY ROOM - EVENING
Another day, another Group Therapy session. DARIA is sitting
around, looking very disaffected. Predictably STACY is
babbling. Oddly, KATHY and TRISH are very interested in what
she's saying.
STACY
So, like, my mom? She does the laundry
sometimes and she, like, really doesn't
have a clue. Cashman's had a sale, and,
like, I found some really cool
clothes...you should have seen those
Eggplant bells I found!
KATHY
Ooh...sounds cool!
TRISH
Yeah!
STACY
But like, mom put them in and poured
bleach all over them!!!
TRISH
That's so wrong.
STACY
Yeah...it's cool you understand. I think
I'm going to like it here.
KATHY
Yeah...but they don't allow us out to
shop. That's such a bummer.
STACY
They don't? Oh m'god!!!!
STACY begins to hyperventilate, and KATHY and TRISH reach
over
to comfort her.
DARIA clears her throat.
DARIA
That's no reason to try to kill yourself,
though.
KATHY and TRISH look daggers at DARIA.
TRISH
You are so cold.
KATHY
Yeah, you're mean, Daria!
TRISH
And you're a brain. You wouldn't
understand.
DARIA
(sighs)
God.
DR. WALDEN
Now Daria, don't be judgmental...
DARIA
Doesn't this strike you as, well, absurd?
Attempting suicide over clothes. To quote
Trish, that's so wrong.
DR. WALDEN
Daria, you don't live in Stacy's skin.
DARIA
I'm glad that's the case.
DR.
WALDEN picks up his cell phone.
DR. WALDEN
Front desk? Yeah, page a couple of
orderlies and have them come to the Group
Room in 2 East. Yes, I have a girl here
who needs some time out in the Quiet
Room. No, it's not Loqueta, you don't
have to get anyone especially burly. It's
Daria. Thanks.
DR.
WALDEN flips his small, trendy-looking cell phone shut.
DR. WALDEN (CONT'D)
Daria, I think you need to think about
the cruel things you just said. Just
because you think you are superior to
these other girls doesn't give you the
right to ridicule them.
DARIA
That wasn't ridicule. That was
questioning an irrational reaction to
very trivial matters.
ANGLE ON: DOOR
As
two white-coated orderlies come in the room. DR. WALDEN
points DARIA out, and one takes DARIA'S arms, the other
DARIA'S legs. DARIA goes limp, and the orderlies drag her
out.
CUT TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, CORRIDOR - DAY
The
orderlies have a better grip on DARIA now, and are
walking her briskly to The Quiet Room.
CUT TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, QUIET ROOM - DAY
DARIA sits in the corner of the padded cell. There are
restraints there, but DARIA is not in them.
DARIA
Well, at least it's a little like home
here. This isn't so bad.
DARIA slumps down and catches up on her sleep.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DR. WALDEN'S OFFICE - EVENING
MS.
COLLIER walks in, angrily. DR. WALDEN is calmly eating a
burger at his desk.
MS. COLLIER
Do you realize you have a patient here
for absolutely no good reason at all?
DR. WALDEN
And who might that be?
MS. COLLIER
Daria Morgendorffer. She's been here for
ten days and the only reason is that her
teachers mistook a cat scratch for self
mutilation.
DR. WALDEN
Ask me if I give a damn.
MS. COLLIER
You should give a damn. Daria could be
damaged here from her stay. You could
actually cause neurosis and possibly even
psychosis if she stays here
unnecessarily.
DR. WALDEN
Again, ask me if I give a damn.
MS. COLLIER
What do you care about, if not your
clients?
DR. WALDEN
Daria's mother is a lawyer with a nice
fat health insurance policy. Daria could
stay here for several months more, and
keep you in clay and tempera paints.
MS. COLLIER
I thought this was a place of healing,
Dr. Walden. Keeping people who shouldn't
be here directly violates the Hippocratic
Oath. And it also robs the people who
really should be here of the attention
they need and deserve.
DR. WALDEN
Do you like your job, Ms. Collier?
MS. COLLIER
I like it fine.
DR. WALDEN
Good. Speak no more of this, then.
Remember, having an on-premises art
therapist is a luxury here, not a
necessity. We could use the money we
spend on you and your supplies to buy the
school another teacher or the wards a few
more orderlies.
MS. COLLIER
May I speak freely, sir?
DR. WALDEN
Please.
MS. COLLIER
You're a really unpleasant little man.
DR. WALDEN
I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Oh, and
isn't your shift over, Ms. Collier?
MS. COLLIER
Yes it is. I think I'll stop by the cat
rescue before I go home...I need to
relax.
DR. WALDEN
Good. You do that. See you tomorrow.
MS.
COLLIER walks out the door. DR. WALDEN gets up, and goes
to a
filing cabinet. He pulls a folder.
ANGLE ON: FILE FOLDER
It's
MS. COLLIER'S personnel file.
ANGLE ON: DR. WALDEN'S DESK
As
DR. WALDEN sits down. He grabs a pad of Sticky Notes, and
writes "Keep an eye on Collier" on it. He opens the folder
and
begins to read through it, alternately turning pages and
taking bites out of his hamburger.
CUT TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, QUIET ROOM - NIGHT
DARIA is still taking a nap in the Quiet Room. The picture
pushes to the left side, and...
FADE TO BLACK.
The
song "Institutionalized" by Suicidal Tendencies is heard
over
the end credits.
END OF ACT III, PART I
ACT I, PART II
FADE IN:
INT
MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT
HELEN, JAKE and QUINN are eating Lite Delite frozen Lasagna,
as
always.
HELEN
So do you want to visit your sister in
the hospital tomorrow?
QUINN
No way.
HELEN
I heard that Stacy is also in the same
hospital...isn't she one of your friends?
QUINN
Mu-ommm...both Daria and Stacy are in a
loser place with a bunch of psychos. I'd
have to say they're where they belong.
HELEN
That's no way to talk about your sister,
Quinn...
QUINN
Please don't remind me...I've been trying
to forget that she's my sister. And Stacy
is...well...a real weirdo. She's always
behaved strangely. For a while there she
was copying everything I was doing. It's
like that movie...Single White Female.
And you know how that ended up...
JAKE
Eew...creepy....
HELEN
Jake, we need to stay on-message here.
Quinn, you only have one sister, and
sisters are forever. And Stacy might be a
little disturbed but she's been a great
friend to you.
ANGLE ON: PHONE
SFX:
PHONE RINGS
QUINN
I'll get it...hello?
Split-screen between MS. COLLIER in the Art Room and QUINN in
the
dining room
MS. COLLIER
Hello, is Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer in?
QUINN
MOM! It's for you.
QUINN passes the phone to HELEN
HELEN
Helloooo!
MS. COLLIER
Yes, hello Mrs. Morgendorffer.
HELEN
Helen. Please call me Helen.
MS. COLLIER
OK Helen...I'm Audrey Ann Collier, one of
the counsellors at Lighthouse Hospital,
and I wanted to make you aware that
perhaps your daughter Daria is not in
here for any good reason.
HELEN
Well, Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill at Lawndale
High told me that Daria was exhibiting
signs of self-mutilation, and the
professionals at Lighthouse seem to be
very emphatic that there is indeed fire
under the smoke...
MS. COLLIER
Helen...I have examined Daria's wounds.
They were cat scratches, completely
consistent with Daria's story. They were
not clean enough to be razor cuts, and
would have had far less scabbing. Razor
cuts heal cleanly. The four scratches are
consistent with the paw of a large cat.
HELEN
Are you a Doctor, Ms. Collier?
MS. COLLIER
No, but I am a licensed MFCC and a
certified art therapist. I also work at a
cat rescue when not at the hospital, so I
have seen both cat scratches and the work
of self-mutilators.
HELEN
Still...that nice Dr. Walden said...
MS. COLLIER
That nice Dr. Walden is only after your
insurance money. You're a lawyer, you've
certainly have had to deal with insurance
fraud before?
HELEN
Yes, I have represented insurance
companies dealing with fraudulent
claims...
MS. COLLIER
So this situation should ring very
familiar to you, Ms. Morgendorffer. I
strongly suggest you sign a release form
and take your daughter out of here. Daria
is in fine shape now but a few months
here could cause her to be harmed. This
is not a place for an intelligent and
well-adjusted young woman.
HELEN
I understand your concern but I take the
opinion of a Doctor of Medicine over that
of an art therapist. If you can give me
documentation, please do so. If not,
please let the more than qualified
doctors at the hospital do their work.
Good evening, Ms. Collier.
HELEN hangs up, and the split screen effect cuts out.
QUINN
So what was that?
HELEN
The art therapist at the hospital. She
let me know of her concerns about your
sister. She thinks that Daria doesn't
belong in the hospital.
QUINN
You know she's wrong.
HELEN
Maybe. Maybe not. I'm going to check on
something at Lexis.
CUT TO:
INT
MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, HOME OFFICE - NIGHT
HELEN boots up her Thinkpad. The familiar "Starting
Windows98" screen is seen. The little rising tones are heard,
letting HELEN know the modem card is in the slot and
recognized.
The
Thinkpad's desktop is seen, and HELEN opens an Internet
connection. She then opens her browser, and goes on to the
Lexis/Nexis site.
HELEN types in "Lighthouse Hospital Lawndale" in the search
box.
The results scroll down the screen.
HELEN
Oh my...
There are literally dozens of lawsuits filed against
Lighthouse in the past few years.
HELEN looks at one of the cases...Walker v Lighthouse
Hospital, Dr. Graham Walden, does 1-50 inclusive. She then
opens another search box, and types in "Dr. Graham Walden
malpractice". Yet another stream of results.
HELEN (CONT'D)
OK, he never got nailed...but the
majority of these cases ended in no-fault
settlements. Not a good sign.
HELEN closes her browser and logs off the Internet. She seems
a
little shaken.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - THE NEXT DAY
DARIA has headphones on and is listening to a Walkman. STACY
is
busy folding and putting away clothes...her parents bought
her
a few new outfits to cheer her up.
STACY
Daria?
DARIA can't hear STACY...her Walkman is blasting "Butterfly
Wings" by Machines of Loving Grace. The sound is loud enough
to
be audible through the headphones.
STACY (CONT'D)
(much louder)
DARIA????
DARIA hears this, groans, and flicks one side of the headset
off
her ear.
DARIA
I thought we had a deal. You don't bug
me, I don't bug you. We are both the
Invisible Roommates.
STACY
But Daria...I want to know what you think
of this place.
DARIA
It sucks. Isn't it obvious?
STACY
Not to me. I dunno...this is the first
time I have really been liked for who I
am somewhere. I don't get abused by my so
called friends, and people really want to
hear what I have to say.
DARIA
Well...you think what you want to think.
All I know is that I don't belong here,
and that I have got to get out of here
before I do.
STACY
Fine. You do that.
DARIA
You'd better not rat me out.
STACY
I won't. Why should I? I'm getting what I
want out of this place. You aren't.
DARIA
Good. Now we can go back to the Invisible
Roommate policy.
DARIA puts the other headphone over her ear and turns the
volume up even louder.
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, CAFETERIA
STACY, KATHY and TRISH are all eating salads and talking
between bites.
KATHY
So, my mom just brought the newest issue
of Waif magazine for me! It looks like
it's going to be white, white and more
white for the Summer!
STACY
White? Oh god, that makes you look like
you're 10 pounds heavier than you are!
What are they thinking?
TRISH
You know, you could do what I do. What
goes down doesn't necessarily have to
stay down.
STACY
You don't mean?
TRISH
Yeah. Barf it all up.
STACY
EEW!
TRISH
Works for me. I've been 98 pounds since I
started High School and I haven't gained
an ounce.
STACY
Is that what you're in for?
TRISH
Yeah. But you just have to be sneakier
here. They don't allow you to go to the
bathroom immediately after you eat. So I
keep baggies in my room.
KATHY AND STACY
That is so gross!
KATHY
Yeah, you'd better not do that around me.
TRISH
Well, the first chance I get, I throw the
barf bag out. I've never had to wait more
than a couple of minutes. The doctors,
the nurses, the orderlies, the
counselors, the aides...they never
suspect a thing.
STACY
That's still so gross. I'd rather diet
more than do that.
TRISH
You don't want your parents to think
you're anorexic, now do you? That would
mean you'd stay here longer.
STACY
What if I told you I liked it here?
TRISH AND KATHY
No way...you like it here?
STACY
Yeah. I've got friends here, people
listen to my problems, the salads are
nice, and school is easy.
TRISH
I'm at Level 4...I should be let go soon.
KATHY
Yeah, and I only have three more days to
go on my hold.
STACY
So you both want out of here, right?
KATHY
Yeah. Big time.
TRISH
Uh-huh.
STACY
So where do you live?
KATHY
Oakwood.
TRISH
Riverdale.
STACY
Well...I guess that means when you go,
there's like no way we'll be able to keep
in touch.
TRISH
Not necessarily. Lawndale's not too far
away, and besides, I'm going to be coming
here for evening Group just about every
week.
STACY
That's good.
KATHY
Did you see that cute orderly who just
started here...what a babe.
STACY AND TRISH
You mean Michael? Ooh, yeah, he's cute!
DARIA walks by, listening to the blather only briefly before
finding a table in the corner. She has a copy of "Animal
Farm" by George Orwell and her Walkman, as well as a tray of
food. She is about to sit down and eat, when
TERRI
Ok girls, time for PE...
DARIA grimaces.
DARIA
Maybe I'll wind up looking like them when
I'm done here.
She
takes her full tray with uneaten food on it and puts it
in
the bussing rack with a heavy sigh.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT I, PART II
ACT II, PART II
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - LATE NIGHT
Music: "The Saint" by Orbital up.
DARIA is asleep. STACY is also dead to the world.
ANGLE ON: DOOR
There's someone walking through the open door.
ANGLE ON: DARIA
As
the figure walks closer to DARIA.
ANGLE ON: PERSON
As
it becomes clear the figure is MS. COLLIER.
As
DARIA stirs awake, MS. COLLIER makes a shushing gesture.
DARIA gets up, slowly and quietly.
She
grabs her duffle bag, and her book bag. That's the only
stuff she brought. She puts her Walkman into the duffle.
ANGLE ON: STACY
STACY flops over, but she is still sound asleep.
DARIA and MS. COLLIER sneak out.
CUT TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, CORRIDOR - LATE NIGHT
MS.
COLLIER uses her badge to open up some of the normally
closed doors and avoid checkpoints. It also becomes clear
that
DARIA did not get a chance to tie her bootlaces...her
boots flop around on her legs limply.
ANGLE ON: DARIA
As
she stumbles but ultimately doesn't get tripped up by her
boots.
DARIA takes her boots off and tucks them under her arm.
CUT TO:
EXT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, SERVICE ENTRANCE - LATE NIGHT
MS.
COLLIER and DARIA hustle out the SERVICE ENTRANCE. They
run
to MS. COLLIER'S vintage VW Bug.
INT
MS. COLLIER'S CAR - LATE NIGHT
As
they drive off.
Cut
"The Saint" off as MS. COLLIER puts in a CD, and "Sugar
Magnolia" by the Grateful Dead plays.
DARIA
So, this means you'll probably lose your
job.
MS. COLLIER
That's ok...the cat rescue needs me more
than the hospital does at this point.
This was worth it. I didn't get anywhere
with Dr. Walden, I didn't get anywhere
with your Mom, so it was time for direct
action.
DARIA
You know this might also get you in
trouble with the law, right?
MS. COLLIER
So what? I have been in jail before.
Let's see...Diablo Canyon, nuclear tests
in Nevada, the Oprah Winfrey veggie libel
law trial...I was arrested all those
places during protests. Sometimes you
have to lay your freedom on the line for
a good cause.
DARIA
So I'm your next good cause, huh?
MS. COLLIER
Looks like.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DARIA'S ROOM - MORNING
STACY wakes up, and notices that DARIA is not in the adjacent
bed.
ANGLE ON: STACY
As
her eyes widen.
STACY
Oh my god...Daria's gone!!!
STACY puts on her bath robe over her nightgown and runs out
into
the hallway.
STACY (CONT'D)
Someone! Anyone! Daria's gone!
An
ORDERLY runs over.
ORDERLY
Calm down, calm down...Daria
Morgendorffer is not in the room you
share?
STACY
She's not there...I saw her when I fell
asleep, then when I woke up...she wasn't
there!
ORDERLY
(gets on walkie-talkie)
Uh, security, we have an AWOL
situation...Daria Morgendorffer turned up
missing just now. (pause) OK, sure, will
gather the rest of the 2 East security
staff...yeah, you're right, this is
really bad...no excuses. See you in a
few.
The
ORDERLY clicked off his walkie-talkie and turned back to
STACY.
ORDERLY (CONT'D)
Thanks for letting us know about this.
It's only 5 AM, you should go back to
bed. We'll find out what's what.
STACY
Thanks.
STACY walks back to her room.
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, SECURITY HQ - MORNING
The
room is tense. The entire night shift is being held over
to
be interrogated.
ANGLE ON: DOOR
As
DR. WALDEN walks in. His face is bright red with anger.
DR. WALDEN
This is an outrage! We haven't had a
successful AWOL in two years, and now our
perfect record has been shattered!
SECURITY CHIEF
Please, Dr. Walden...
DR. WALDEN
What happened to our hourly bed checks?
What happened to patrols? What happened
to just doing your damn job????
SECURITY CHIEF
Uh, um...
DR. WALDEN
YOU are FIRED for this!!!
DR.
WALDEN turns on his heels and walks out.
CUT TO:
EXT
CAT RESCUE BACKYARD - DAY
MS.
COLLIER and DARIA are adding kibble to a big trough.
There are cats all over the place.
MS. COLLIER
Come and get it!
A
literal avalanche of cats runs towards the trough. Cats
swarm it, some up on top of it, some hanging off the sides.
DARIA
They're certainly enthusiastic.
MS. COLLIER
It's one of the highlights of their day.
There's seven more feeding stations to
fill, let me show you the rest of the
house.
CUT TO:
INT
CAT RESCUE LIVING ROOM - DAY
MS.
COLLIER drags a wheelbarrow with two big bags of Kitty
Kibble in the payload. DARIA walks around, collecting empty
food
dishes.
DARIA
So all these dishes need to be filled?
MS. COLLIER
Yep.
CUT TO:
INT
CAT RESCUE KITCHEN - DAY
The
cats are fed, and now it's time for a little break. MS.
COLLIER is making coffee, and has a tray of muffins out.
DARIA
You know, it's probably just a matter of
time before the cops arrive.
MS. COLLIER
I know. Have some of this coffee...it's
100% Kona.
DARIA
Nice.
MS. COLLIER
Yeah, I usually live on veggies, rice,
beans and day old bread, but you have to
treat yourself sometimes. Oh yeah, the
muffins are special too...made at the
Good Karma bakery with no dairy or eggs.
I don't eat animal products.
DARIA
So I take it milk for my coffee is out of
the question?
MS. COLLIER
You have your choice: almond milk or soy
milk.
DARIA
Cool. Let me try the almond milk then.
CUT TO:
INT
HELEN MORGENDORFFER'S OFFICE - MORNING
HELEN has just gotten in. It's 8am, just before MARIANNE
comes in. The phone rings.
HELEN
Hello, Helen Morgendorffer Esq. speaking.
(beat) What??? Daria isn't in the
hospital???? She's gone AWOL??? How did
this happen? Oh, you don't know, huh?
I'll be right over. Yes, I will take
time out of my extremely busy
schedule to make sure you folks are
on-task and FIND MY DAUGHTER! Of
course, bring the police into this!!!
HELEN slams the phone down, scribbles a hasty note, then
grabs her briefcase and rushes out the door.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, LOBBY - DAY
The
hospital lobby is bustling with media, police and staff.
HELEN is in the center of the cyclone, basically attempting
to
run things.
Sweeping through the room in his long white coat, DR. WALDEN
rushes right up to where HELEN is.
DR. WALDEN
Ms. Morgendorffer, you are turning my
hospital into a madhouse!
HELEN
Think of what you just said. And consider
that two out of the three major networks,
plus two independents and CNN are
represented here.
DR. WALDEN
What I'm trying to say is that this is
unseemly. Let law enforcement and the
staff handle this!
HELEN
I don't trust you to handle this, Doctor.
Now have you checked out which staff have
shown up today and which have not?
DR. WALDEN
That's underway. Let me call Human
Resources.
DR.
WALDEN gets on his cell phone.
DR. WALDEN (CONT'D)
Yes, Human Resources? Who on the day
shift showed up today? Uh huh...uh huh...
HELEN
(interrupting)
Have you ever thought to find out if Ms.
Collier has shown up today?
DR. WALDEN
How about Ms. Collier...she hasn't? Thank
you very much.
DR.
WALDEN hangs up the phone.
HELEN
There's your culprit.
DR. WALDEN
Now I have to figure out where that damn
cat rescue is.
HELEN
How many cat rescues could there be in a
small suburb like Lawndale? There's Kitty
Heaven and that's about it.
DR. WALDEN
Ah. Kitty Heaven. I think I remember her
saying something about that.
HELEN
Well, what are we waiting for, then?
Where's that police captain? Captain
Flagg! Damn public servants...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT
CAT RESCUE FRONT YARD - DAY
DARIA and MS. COLLIER are doing some puttering around the
yard, when the sound of sirens is heard, faintly at first,
then
louder.
MS. COLLIER
Well, sounds like fate is calling us.
DARIA
Thanks, Ms. Collier. I really appreciate
your sticking your neck out for me.
MS. COLLIER
No problem. It's what had to be done.
DARIA and MS. COLLIER walk back into the house.
CUT TO:
INT
LAWNDALE HIGH, AUDITORIUM - DAY
The
coverage of the search for DARIA is being shown on the
projection TV screen.
PAN
THROUGH AUDIENCE
You
can see many of the regular characters in the crowd. Jane
is
here, along with her elder brother Trent. Brittany is
silently praying. Kevin is rapt, watching everything unfold
on
the screen. Jodie and Mack are holding hands. The faces
of
the students are solemn and worried.
CUT TO:
INT
MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY
JAKE
is sitting on the couch in his bathrobe. There is a
bottle of vodka on the living room table. He stares at the
TV,
and a silent tear rolls down his cheek.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT
CAT RESCUE FRONT YARD - DAY
Several police cars drive up, along with a Lexus containing
HELEN and a Mercedes containing DR. WALDEN. Soon the sound of
choppers pierces the air, as both news and police helicopters
take
their place circling around the Cat Rescue.
POLICEMAN ON BULLHORN
Come out peacefully. We don't want any
trouble.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF ACT II, PART II
ACT III, PART II
FADE IN:
INT
CAT RESCUE LIVING ROOM - DAY
DARIA sits in an easy chair, with four cats surrounding her.
MS.
COLLIER is pacing back and forth.
DARIA
Perhaps it's time for you to come out.
You really don't want the cops breaking
in and whisking me out like Elian
Gonzalez. And you definitely don't want
them taking out their frustrations on you
or the cats.
MS. COLLIER
I suppose you're right. But hell, I want
them to work for it. I want a standoff.
DARIA
Do you want to go down like Bonnie
Parker?
MS. COLLIER
That wouldn't be so great.
MS.
COLLIER goes to the window.
CUT TO:
EXT
CAT RESCUE FRONT YARD - DAY
ANGLE ON: FRONT WINDOW
As
you see MS. COLLIER hold up her hands.
MS. COLLIER
I'm not armed!
POLICEMAN ON BULLHORN
Come out and bring the girl.
MS. COLLIER
I did this because nobody would listen.
Daria doesn't belong in a mental
hospital. She's a healthy girl who has it
together. But Dr. Walden didn't listen.
All he cares about is how much money he
can extort from families. And he had the
wool pulled over Mrs. Morgendorffer's
eyes.
POLICEMAN ON BULLHORN
We'll talk later. Come out with your
hands up and bring the girl.
MS. COLLIER
I don't want to see any guns out. I'm not
armed, I can't harm you, so no guns.
POLICEMAN ON BULLHORN
That's fair.
The
Policeman with the bullhorn motions to the officers with
their guns drawn to holster their weapons. Some do, some just
hold
them pointed down.
ANGLE ON: DOOR
As
it slowly opens.
MS.
COLLIER walks out, hands up. So does DARIA.
HELEN runs to embrace her daughter.
MS.
COLLIER gets down on her knees and lays down prone on the
grass.
As
HELEN escorts DARIA away from the action, several
policemen swarm MS. COLLIER, holding her down while she is
handcuffed.
DARIA
Isn't that a bit excessive, Mom?
HELEN
Well, they don't know for sure that she
isn't packing something. But yeah, that's
a lot of cops to handle one middle-aged
woman.
DARIA and HELEN go back to HELEN'S car. DR. WALDEN
approaches.
DR. WALDEN
Ahem, Morgendorffer ladies.
DARIA
I'm not coming back.
DR. WALDEN
Your treatment is not complete, Daria.
HELEN
I have the right to discharge my daughter
at any time, am I correct?
DR. WALDEN
This is true.
HELEN
Good. I intend to discharge my daughter
until I can get to the bottom of this
whole situation.
DR. WALDEN
You're making a big mistake, Mrs.
Morgendorffer.
HELEN
To the contrary, Dr. Walden. I think
perhaps you, most of your staff and
certain faculty members of Lawndale High
were the ones who made the mistake.
CUT TO:
INT
LAWNDALE HIGH, AUDITORIUM - DAY
The
students who are watching the event on the big screen are
cheering as DARIA gets into the car with HELEN.
CUT TO:
INT
MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY
JAKE
is standing up and cheering, and at the same time is
swigging out of the bottle.
CUT TO:
INT
LAWNDALE HIGH, AUDITORIUM - DAY
Truck in on SANDI, QUINN and TIFFANY, who are sitting in a
corner of the auditorium.
SANDI
Quinn, isn't that your mom with...that
girl you live with?
QUINN
Don't remind me.
TIFFANY
This is....so....moving....
QUINN
(sardonically)
Yeah. Like I would love to just move out
of Lawndale and go far, far away.
EXT
MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, FRONT LAWN - DAY
Already, news Nuke Trucks have shown up outside.
CUT TO:
INT
MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY
JAKE
sees the news vans.
ANGLE ON: JAKE
As
one word escapes his lips...
JAKE
Eep!
JAKE
runs upstairs with the bottle of vodka.
CUT TO:
EXT
MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, FRONT LAWN - DAY
As
HELEN drives up the driveway with DARIA.
HELEN opens the car door, and is besieged with MEDIA.
HELEN
Can't you vultures find some other family
to harass? Get off my property or I'll
sue the lot of you.
The
MEDIA back off a little as HELEN spirits DARIA into the
house.
INT
MORGENDORFFER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY
JAKE
is dressed, and the vodka bottle is back in the liquor
cabinet as HELEN and DARIA walk in.
JAKE
My girl is OK!
HELEN
Spare us both. Daria, you are in very big
trouble. Ms. Collier is going to be
facing felony charges...the Little
Lindbergh Law kicks in with a kidnapping.
Was this your idea?
DARIA
I'd say it was a collaboration.
HELEN
I want the truth right now. Did you try
to harm or kill yourself before you went
to school that day?
DARIA
No. I helped Jane get her cat out of the
crawlspace behind the living room wall.
I'm being honest with you, Mom...why
would I lie?
HELEN
I don't know. Mental illness still holds
a stigma.
DARIA
I'm stigmatized regardless of whether I
did or did not mutilate myself. Everyone
knows what happened to me. Everyone knows
I was in a psychiatric hospital. Whether
I was there legitimately or whether I was
there by mistake doesn't matter. I was in
a psychiatric hospital for 12 days, Mom.
Nothing can change that. So again, Mom,
why the hell would I lie? The damage has
already been done.
HELEN
I see what you mean. I guess you wouldn't
lie at this point.
DARIA
And you know I'm a bad liar. I can't lie
with a straight face. You know when I'm
telling the truth or not.
HELEN
Yes....very true. You'd be a criminal
defense attorney's worst nightmare.
HELEN smiles and goes into the kitchen.
HELEN (CONT'D)
You probably didn't have breakfast, did
you? And it's almost lunchtime. Want me
to warm up some lasagna?
ANGLE ON: DARIA
As
she suppresses a laugh.
DARIA
Sure. Lasagna will be fine.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT
LIGHTHOUSE HOSPITAL, DR. WALDEN'S OFFICE - INDETERMINATE
"Free" by Vast is playing in the background
A
pair of disembodied hands set a file folder down on the
desk, and opens it.
The
first page shows a Polaroid picture of DARIA, and the
text
on the page says, "Daria Morgendorffer never went back
to
Lighthouse Hospital. Any thought of studying Psychology in
College has been completely purged from her mind as a result
of
this incident."
The
disembodied hand turns the page.
The
second page shows a Polaroid picture of MS. LI, MS.
MANSON, the LAWNDALE HIGH SCHOOL NURSE and MR O'NEILL. The
text
on the page says, "Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill were sued by
Helen and Jake Morgendorffer on their daughter Daria's behalf
for
their hasty judgment of her sanity. The budget of
Lawndale High School will have to weather another legal
settlement."
The
disembodied hand turns the page.
The
third page shows a newspaper clipping of Dr. Walden and
Dr.
Mills being led off in handcuffs from Lighthouse
Hospital. The headline reads "Hospital administrators in
insurance fraud scandal." A sticky note on the newspaper
clipping reads "Dr. Walden and Dr. Mills are now on a lengthy
vacation at the State Hotel, Casino and Penitentiary. They
are
also on permanent vacation from their licenses to
practice Psychiatry."
The
disembodied hand turns the page.
The
fourth page shows a Polaroid picture of STACY. The text
on
the page says, "Stacy Rowe continues to be a patient at
Lighthouse Hospital. However, her status has been raised to
Level 4, and she is considered trustworthy enough to go on
short, supervised visits to Cranberry Commons to shop."
The
disembodied hand turns the page.
The
fifth page shows a Polaroid picture of MS. COLLIER
flashing the "V for Victory" sign. The text on the page
reads, "Since Helen refused to prosecute, all charges were
dropped against Audrey Collier. Ms. Collier did not return to
Lighthouse Hospital, but has signed a million-dollar book
deal
with Simon and Schuster for her story. She intends to
give
half of the money to the Kitty Heaven Cat Rescue, and
half
to PETA.
The
disembodied hand turns the page one last time, to reveal
a
picture of Daria as a doctor. The camera zooms in on the
picture, then it pushes to the left side of the screen as the
credits roll.
"Free" by Vast plays until end of credits.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF ACT III, PART II