Constraints: follows ‘Living Dead Girls 2: Corporate Seizure’
Synopsis: Daria returns to Lawndale to watch Tiffany, and an old former friend of Willows also shows her face.
Living Dead Girls 3: Baptism Of Fire.
Content warning: Violence.
Legal: Daria belongs to MTV, Angel and Buffy belongs to Mutant enemy, and there’s a reference to ‘Drop The Dead Donkey’ in there too. Oh, and there are lyrics from a Rob Zombie song in there too. I also got help from Thea Zara, Dervish, and Nick Calcagni on this.
~-~
“DARIA? I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN PRISON!” shrieked Angela.
“Daria? Who’s this Daria?” asked the woman.
She looked like Daria. Exact same hair colour, exact same glasses. But she was dressed in grey trousers, a pink fuzzy jumper, and her hair was in a braided ponytail. Also her voice had a wider bandwidth.
Angela looked at her trying to work it out in her mind. The woman stared back in puzzlement.
“Is this a test? Are you playing the role of a disruptive library patron?” asked the woman.
“Library?” asked Angela.
“Yeah, the place I’m applying for management of. Where the books live, … ”
“Oh, the library, you’re … ” she flipped through her personal organiser and looked up again “Joy Merryweather?”
“That’s me. Who’s this Daria you thought I was?”
“Oh, just some, … Uh, have a seat, Miss Merryweather” said Angela.
~-~
It was a watcher cliché that they usually ended up running libraries, but it was a functional one, since they could easily stock it with the information of their trade.
Daria had also copied the watchers council database of demons and organisations, known alternate dimensions, magics, etc. and would receive an update from a courier she knew personally. One who traveled around picking up and dropping off updates. The only time information was passed over the internet was in an emergency, the majority of the communications were spoof messages. Since the majority were such utter bullshit, the minority that were real were unread by spies because they had all given up. That was the theory, anyway, but spies that timed their eavesdropping just right would possibly get what they need.
She concentrated on the pen in her desk organizer, trying to get it to move. It finally happened, she stopped it about a metre overhead. She heard someone enter the library, breaking her concentration, the pen dropped back into the desk organizer.
“Well Helllloooooo my-” started Upchuck.
“Arch nemesis if you continue that train of thought” replied Daria.
“Fffff-” Upchuck started, but couldn’t finish because he felt his bladder discharge. He stared down at himself horrified, he then placed the book he was returning on the desk and ran off.
Jodie entered the library, and looked at her saying “Daria?”
“Okay, somebody tell me who Daria is? Because I obviously look like her, and Angela said something about her being in prison. I want to know about my double” said Daria.
“If you’re not her, … ”
“I’m Joy Merryweather” said Daria.
“I’m Jodie Landon. Daria Morgendorffer was a student here, but she was involved in the theft of police property, including an APC and some guns. She is now in prison for the next 15 years”
“Right, thank you”
“You’re welcome” said Jodie, before heading off in search of a book.
~-~
“What have any of these texts got to do with my mission?” asked Illyria.
“That will become apparent later” said Wesley, as he worked on his assigned task.
Illyria approached Wesley and stood on his desk, grabbing his head by the ears so his face was aimed directly at hers and said “You are attempting to distract me from my mission. You’re not even working on the destruction of the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart. You have become seduced by their resources and wish to support your masters” stated Illyria.
“Yes, I’m keeping you distracted, but your assumption about my desire to destroy the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart is flat out wrong. We will find a way, but Angel doesn’t want you anywhere near our plan, now-” Wesley pushed the muzzle of one of his pistols into her chest and said “-remove your hands from my body, or you can sit out the mission feeding the worms”
Illyria frowned at him for a few seconds, then shoved his head back, propelling him into the window with enough energy to make the sound of head against glass painful.
She then stood up, stepped off the desk, and left.
~-~
“Hey Illyria, how goes it with Wesley?” asked the one named Gunn, as he approached Illyria's table.
“He keeps me from contributing to the mission he claims he’s committed to. Are you also going to waste my time?” asked Illyria, only pausing her consumption of Petri dishes long enough to answer his question.
Gunn sat down opposite her, and said “considering what you did to Fred, you should consider yourself lucky he hasn’t instead decided to examine the effects of firearms on your body. And I’d help him, or have a go myself when he was finished.”
“What I did to Fred was based on the reasonable assumption that she was involved with an assassination attempt against me. I have long been an adversary of the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart, and she was in charge of your practical sciences department. She also had the weapon I saw Daria aiming at me in my fragmented timeline. I had to find out how this weapon worked, I no longer consider her a threat.”
Gunn thought about his response. He couldn’t believe she just claimed probable cause without the slightest hint of contrition as if this was an internal affairs investigation. His friend, his former girlfriend, the girl he loved, was just a suspect to her, and she expected the same perspective of everyone else.
“Illyria, did people ever apologise in your day?” asked Gunn.
“They did, hoping I would spare them.”
Gunn stood up, smacking the table with his hands, causing some of the Petri dishes to bounce of Illyria's plate and said “DAMN IT ILLYRIA, YOU ARE NOT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE! IF YOU WANT TO CONSOLIDATE ALLIANCES, YOU HAVE TO TREAT OTHERS AS EQUALS! YOU CAN NOT ASSUME, THAT EVERYONE WILL WORSHIP AND OBEY”
“Obviously” observed Illyria as she placed the stray Petri dishes back on her plate. This was the second time someone came to her with this kind of advice “I am prepared to negotiate the terms of my entrance into an alliance with your organisation.”
“Oh really?” asked Gunn, he put his hands in his pockets.
“I wish to remain able to fight, and in control of my mental faculties. But as long as the reprisal Fred determines does not remove either, I am willing to consider the price.” said Illyria.
Gunn looked at her, considering her proposal.
“Angel will have to oversee such a negotiation” he said, he then left.
Illyria would be patient, but she would have to consider plans that did not involve Angel and his team as allies.
She had rarely needed other forces than those she had commanded in her day. Now she had to offer something that they wanted; Something that she could possibly barely afford. Chances were that Angel’s organisation may demand too much and she would have to break off negotiations. She was going to win one way or another, and there was no point in rushing it. A poorly executed attack could get her killed instead, but since she was pretty much immortal (discounting artificial factors). She had as long as the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart had.
~-~
Daria returned to her current place of residence: Penny’s room at Jane's house.
“So, how was your first day?” asked Jane.
“Swell, starting to get the hang of it.” said Daria.
“Librarianining?”
“Telekenesis”
“Magic?” asked Jane.
“Yep”
“Seem to be getting the hang of it quickly.” said Jane.
“Yeah, Willow said the same thing, and expressed concern.”
There was a knock on the door. Daria answered it, and let Tiffany in.
“Miss Merryweather” said Tiffany, as she entered. She was dressed in camouflage trousers, a jacket, and with a pair of steel toed boots. She had a small sports bag hanging off her shoulder.
“Hey Tiff, what’s with the change?” asked Daria.
“Didn’t seem much point remaining fashionable: No dates, no friends wanting much to do with me. I figured I might as well dress for work” said Tiffany.
“Right, I’m still trying to catch up on your logs. Andrew’s narration is either a fiendishly cleaver anti-spy tactic, or he’s as convinced of his thrilling narration abilities as Upchuck is of his pulling power. I could blow it off and join you on patrol, you could fill me in on any significant events.” Daria suggested.
“Can you fight?” asked Tiffany.
“Well, my hand to hand skills are still at the novice level, but I could always bring something to help me out.” said Daria, grabbing her other jacket off the wall and the holster under it. It was a back holster and ammo belt for a sawn off shotgun, she put the harness on. “I’m saving for an automatic shotgun.”
“I thought vampires couldn’t be killed by gunshot wounds” said Jane.
“Nope, it’s stake through the heart, ignition, prolonged contact with crucifixes, sunlight and holy water, and, … ” she pulled one of the rounds (brass base, red case, with a yellow stripe around the front) from her ammo belt saying “decapitation”
“With a, … 12 gauge?” asked Jane.
“Nope, Fin stabilised high explosive.” said Daria.
“Are those legal?” asked Jane.
“Council swung a permit, but I had to manufacture the ammunition myself. Luckily your mom had the necessary tools in the basement. I only had to bring the blank cartridges, propellant, and materials to make the shell and filler.” said Daria. She then continued “They won’t reimburse me for an automatic shotgun though; I’m having to save up for that”
“What was the thing Willow expressed concern over?” asked Jane.
“Apparently she presented megalomania as a result of her rapidly increasing skill, started taking insane risks: Editing her girlfriend’s memory, flicking the main breaker on and off by telekenisis. Almost ended up incinerating the planet when said girlfriend was wasted by some wannabe gangster.” said Daria.
“Whoa, that sounds, … What about you?” asked Jane.
“I suppose, I’ll have to maintain vigilance. Besides, Willow’s a good guy again, and using magic responsibly, so I suppose the problem shouldn’t be insurmountable. I just got to be careful, I guess. There are differences between the kinds of magics I’ll be learning to use, telekenisis is simply moving stuff with my thoughts. That’s a relatively safe one. The harder ones are the spells, because they tend to have instant results and alter reality, materialise objects. There’s also the energy itself, that’s one of the biggest problems.” said Daria.
“How so?” asked Jane.
“Well, mystical energy is barely understood by practitioners of magics, and the amount of energy a single person can wield is extreme. You remember what happened with Illyria, the explosive yield we were looking at?”
“Yeah, would have been like some sort of nuclear explosion.” said Jane.
“No, it wouldn’t. Nukes draw their energy from the annihilation of matter; energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. Mystical energy goes way beyond that. It’s not the kind of thing you can ever translate from matter: You can call upon it, channel it, use it, it hangs just outside our perception.” Daria explained.
“Okay, well, if it’s likely to be so powerful, do you really think you should be messing with it?” asked Jane.
“It’s a useful tool in combat. I’m not one to turn down ammunition if I can use it. I’m also reading up on Willows notes about what happened with her. It seems she was introduced to a person who supplied her with some sort of ready to use energy, gave her a mystical version of a sugar rush, got her hooked on that. She was presenting poor judgement before that, but that seemed to be the point where it eliminated her sense of caution, added a dependence on this guys energy to the mix.” said Daria.
“Again, doesn’t that make it the sort of thing you should avoid?” Jane asked again.
“Not if it can help me do my job. I’ll keep in mind how unstable magic is, develop my skill, and, hope I can avoid making a large part of the planet disappear.”
~-~
She didn’t need magic to pull a man. In fact, she could pull several at once. But Amy was getting bored with the whole whore act, so she just used her magics to get as many as possible.
She would get a couple of them to blow her, the rest were for her minions to use. Some of them had the M factor that qualified them for turning.
M for megalomania.
Amy didn’t know what effect being turned might have on her magical ability, so she didn’t go for it herself. Besides, she wanted to hang onto her daylight mobility. Still, she needed an army, and since she had something to keep vampires interested (a steady supply of human snacks), they seemed perfect.
As long as the sun wasn’t shining, but she was getting good at weather spells, so she could usually create the right conditions.
She entered the house that she had gotten the owners of to invite the vamps into and met her senior officers.
“Oooh, got some pretty dolls for me to play with.” said Drusilla.
“Yeah, whatever, you nut” said Erin, as she and Brian got up off the couch to pick out their meals.
“Don’t be so hard on Dru, Erin, we’re all a little crazy” said Amy.
“Mmmm, I like this one. He smells of galvanised haemoglobin” commented Drusilla as she picked one out of the crowd.
“Although some crazies are more equal than others.” Amy admitted.
“Okay, well, we’re undead and loving it, provided we can actually start taking over the world. We going to go to work now?” asked Erin.
“Sure, tonight we’ll turn all the cops in this town, then we’ll do the same to the day shift” said Amy.
~-~
“-So, I was like, ‘you were saying?’, then these two cops showed up and had me put down my weapon. I had to wait for them to get real close before I could do anything. I had to throw one into the other in order to get them off their game, but in the process the vamp legged it. I could do little else but also get some distance” said Tiffany, concluding one of the more interesting reports.
“Not a lot of activity going on here.” observed Daria.
“Not a lot of Hellmouths in our world.” Tiffany replied.
“It’s a pity most the slayers have family that can’t for whatever reason be involved. If we could improve our mobility, there’d be enough of us to go state by state.” said Daria.
“Would that be effective?” asked Jane.
“I dunno, but I think we would be more effective if we could move more of our forces around.” said Daria.
“The fact that we don’t, as a force for good, have legal recognition and authority is another issue.” said Tiffany.
“Not a lot we can do about that. The Watchers Council isn’t secretive because our tactics depend on it, it’s secretive to keep us all from being confined to psychiatric wards.” Daria countered.
~-~
PC Sarah Park was about to leave for work when there was a knock on the door.
She answered it, a woman with long black hair dressed in a long flowing skirt and fuck all else was standing there. “Hello my child. I am Drusilla, the fairy god queen, here on a mission of love. May I come in?”
Sarah looked at her for a few seconds, and said “I guess you’d better, come in, have a seat.” she turned to go for her phone to call an ambulance; that woman, on drugs or not, needed help.
She picked up the phone and turned around to direct the woman to a sofa, but the woman had changed her appearance: Her face now looked butt ugly, her irises were yellow, and her canines were pointy.
~-~
Brian knocked on his targets door and straightened his tie.
The man answered and Brian introduced himself. “Hi, I’m Brian Danielson, I’m here to talk to you about possible radon emissions in your area. May I come in?”
~-~
“Anatomical drawing and microprocessors at the same time. … And that indicates what exactly?” asked Jane.
“Androids, turns out Willows expertise of robotics came from dissecting two robots made by this other Upchuck like guy, Warren Meers. Both were self propelled real dolls: One named April, the other was a copy of Buffy Summers, one of the senior slayers, commissioned by William, ... Something, call sign ‘Spike’, can’t remember his surname right now.” said Daria.
“Upchuck building sexbots, D’you reckon if he builds one, he’ll stop hitting on us?” asked Tiffany.
~-~
“Where’s Erin?” asked Amy.
Drusilla and Brian looked at each other.
~-~
“Ooh, I so know what you mean there, Miss Freklestein.” said Erin, as they discussed the pros and cons of open air wedding ceremonies.
~-~
Then they looked back in the direction they had come from, they headed back.
“By the way, you mind covering yourself between jobs Dru? We’re trying to avoid attention right now”
“But I want to attract more prey, they so like my lovely charms, like fireflies to an electric arc” replied Drusilla.
“Which would also draw attention. I can’t stress how important it is that we don’t give any warning to the watcher’s council until it is too late for them to act.” said Amy.
~-~
“Whoa, check out the topless chick.” said Tiffany.
“Yeah, they do seem a little conspicuous.” said Daria.
The trio ahead of them turned a corner.
“Yeah, exhibitionist gal’s a vampire, that’s my former roommate” said Jane.
“Right, I’m on it” said Tiffany, starting to run after them.
“Wait, let’s see if they go to a nest first.” Daria suggested.
“Okay, good call”
They jogged across the road and headed for the leylandii line bordering the front yard closest to the corner
~-~
Amy looked into the front lounge through the window, seeing Erin discussing some marriage magazine with the target.
She sighed and walked to the front door and knocked.
The occupant answered it.
“Hi, I’m with Erin. There’s something I need to discuss with her, y’mind?”
She let Amy in.
Amy entered the house and said “Erin? … What are you doing?”
“I was discussing the latest issues of the magazine as per my job.” replied Erin.
“No, as per your cover, remember? Cover for getting into cops houses so you can turn them into vampires? Remember?”
“All right, All right,” said Erin, getting and throwing the magazine into the sofa “you don’t have to get snotty about it.” She promptly vamped out and grabbed the stunned woman, and fed off of her.
~-~
“Jane, hide, follow any runners, report their destination or last known location.” Daria ordered as Tiffany headed off in the direction of the scream. Daria then pulled her sawn off and followed.
~-~
Tiffany encountered the three people minus the other girl, but saw a blonde vampire feeding off a 40ish woman, she would have to engage that one first. She got inside before Dru and friend could react. The blond vampire wasn’t really paying attention to the front door, so she got around her and staked her.
She pulled the victim into a more defensible location, looking at the other girl, who was rooted to the spot. Aside from the blonde she had just killed, Drusilla was the only confirmed vampire.
“ERIN! NO!” she heard the distressed cry from the boy outside, then she heard him shout “AMY, INVITE ME IN!”
“I don’t live here, the resident isn’t dead yet, just unconscious.” said ‘Amy’. The girl then waved her hand and Tiffany felt herself fly against the wall, the force pinned her limbs and she felt her ribcage start to bend.
~-~
Daria skipped sideways, ready to shoot, Drusilla and Brian turned to her game faced. She shot Drusilla first, but Dru bowed her head and the projectile struck her forehead instead. The blast caused a 5cm wide, 1cm deep crater, she collapsed unconscious. Daria fired at Brian who was distracted by Drusilla’s collapse. The projectile struck his top vertebra from it’s 10 o’clock position, having the intended effect of kicking the bone out of the neck and breaking any connection between the shoulders and the head.
Daria opened the breech with one hand, grabbing two fresh rounds with the other. The spent cartridges had just fallen out of the weapon when the girl (presumably the one Brian called Amy) came out, eyes pitch black, her hand pointed at Daria. Suddenly Daria was pulled down onto her ass, then onto her back, her arms and legs pinned were they landed. She felt like she was lying on a neutron star. She saw the girl walk off with Drusilla over one shoulder, with her hand still pointed at Daria. She was out of sight before the force abated. Daria took a moment to recover enough to sit up. She reloaded her sawn off, pocketing the spent cartridges, and got to her feet. She was about to call Tiffany’s name, but decided that having her name heard at a crime scene would probably be a bad thing, so she entered the house. She found Tiffany in the woman’s bedroom with the woman holding a credit card over the holes Erin had left. Tiffany had called for an ambulance.
“You two okay?” asked Daria.
“She’s alive and conscious, looks like we were just in time.” said Tiffany.
“I got Brian, Amy and Dru got away. I’m gonna join the hunt, soon as the medics arrive, … ” said Daria.
“Gotcha.”
~-~
Amy got to the front door and found she had to reach her key pocket with her other hand as the hand corresponding with the pocket was holding Drusilla’s hand.
She felt fangs puncture her shoulder “You’re awake now are you?” she asked, looking at Drusilla’s vamped out face.
Drusilla paused in her feeding and Amy dropped her on the ground, she then got her keys out and opened the front door.
The other vamps met her in the hall way, Drusilla followed Amy, asking “Are you angry at me for stealing your crimson syrup of life?”
Amy turned to her and said “Tell you what Dru, if you can figure out the correct answer to that AND deliver it without any weird insane rambling, I’ll forego punishing you, okay?” she then turned back to her crew and said “Pack up, we’re moving house, anywhere east of here. We bumped into a Slayer and a demon hunter, took out the Danielsons, and possibly sent a scout: I saw the same face behind us a few times, so we have to assume they know our location now. We’ll cross to our rear right neighbours back yard, in case the scout’s watching the front.”
~-~
Angel entered central filing and sought out the person he was looking for.
“Illyria, what are you doing?” asked Angel.
Illyria stood up straight, looking around, and whispered “Where is she?”
Angel cocked his head, and, in a lazy tone, said “Leery, you smell nothing like Harmony.”
Illyria dropped her disguise and said “You and your minions will not let me participate in your mythical attempt to destroy the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart. The situation dictates I find another means to accomplish my mission.”
Angel sighed and said “You tortured one of my staff, and recently assaulted another.”
“The first time was in response to a highly probable assassination attempt, the second was down to your minions attempt to divert my attention with pointless busywork.” She replied coldly.
“And what will you do after Wolfram and Hart are gone?” he asked.
“I intend to reclaim what was mine” said Illyria.
“You are probably aware that none of us have any intention of reinstating you as a god, especially given the violence of your rule.” said Angel.
“I made a proposal that your minion Gunn said he would forward to you” said Illyria.
“He mentioned that. The problem is it is difficult to imagine any punishment making any kind of impression. Your age prior to your incarceration in the deeper well means you would have the mental endurance to shrug off anything short of lethal force” said Angel.
~-~
“That’s the second cop I’ve been involved in an incident with” said Tiffany.
“That woman Erin was biting?” asked Daria.
“Yeah, I saw her warrant card fall out of her pocket when I pulled her wallet to get her credit card”
“Okay, Drusilla and Amy, I’m assuming that’s Amy Madison, are both considered major players. Amy less so, because of her young age, but Willow listed her as a mid skill witch who is self centred and reckless enough to be considered a potential threat, so if she’s running with Drusilla, or Drusilla with her, we have to take that seriously. Erin and Brian, probably there as minions, that many vamps in one place, Brian, Amy, and Drusilla converged on that house for whatever reason.”
“You think they’re up to something?” Asked Tiffany.
“Amy’s hanging with Vampires, saved Drusilla’s ass, what I’m wondering is what would they want with cops?” asked Daria.
“Cops plural?” asked Tiffany.
“Yeah, like I said, it was just a hunt, why go for someone who’s home?” asked Daria.
~-~
“And you’d look sweet, on the tandem seat, of a bicycle made, for two, he-he-he-he.” sang Drusilla.
“Dru, could you please at least PRETEND to be paying attention?” asked Amy.
“What happened to her?” asked one of the vamps.
“Angelus drove her nuts prior to turning her.” said Amy.
“I mean on the mission?” the vamp asked.
“Explosive round to the head, if you’re wondering about the crater.” said Amy, as Drusilla continued to dance and sing really old songs, she started into ‘Don’t Dilly Dally On The Way’.
“Man, that shot must have really fucked her up.” commented another vamp.
“Well, I can’t honestly say I noticed any difference myself” said Amy, desperate to get back on topic, she then turned to the giggling insane vamp and forced her into a sitting position on the floor saying “Don’t make me squash you into neutronium.”
“Aww” pouted Drusilla as Amy turned to the rest of her force.
“Now, we got most of the night shift, they will soon be turning up at work, they will turn the staff present and the following shifts into vampires. Then each night, they will go around and turn the rest of this town with door to door enquiries. We get around a third of the town turned. The rest is food. Although in the long term, we are going to have to start thinking about how to farm our blood cows, aren’t we?”
~-~
Daria and Tiffany met up with Jane where she had phoned in the location of the nest.
“I haven’t seen any movement since Amy and Drusilla got there.” said Jane.
“Okay, Tiff and I will do a recon, Jane, you grab your flamethrower and meet us back here.” said Daria.
“Right” said Jane, before heading off.
“Okay, and, err, what exactly are we supposed to do against the gravity queen?” asked Tiffany.
“Go on a diet.” suggested Daria.
“Fuuuu-neeeeeey”
They headed across the road to the house.
~-~
Illyria stood in her cell, wondering how long it would be until Angel figured out that she was essential to his victory over the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart.
Hadn’t she been humiliated enough already? First she infects the wrong body (UPS will regret that to the extent that her enemies regretted so much as slagging her off in her day). Then she loses her powers. Then she finds herself having use diplomacy. And now, … now, … … NOW SHE WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DECIDE HER FATE LIKE ONE OF HER SLAVES!!!
The mental outburst was just that, mental, externally, she didn’t move.
The one called Spike walked into view.
“Has your leader reached a decision yet?” asked Illyria.
“Err, no, they’re still rolling the dice up there, tallying the results. More even numbers than odd, we let you participate. More odd than even, … ” he grinned and made a cut throat gesture.
“Do not mock me, half breed. … … I have offered to submit to the wrath of the one you call Fred, as she was the one who was wronged.”
“Uh-huh, well, I’ve never known her to be the vengeful kind”
“You have obviously not seen her when she is angered. When the one called Willow removed the talisman from Fred’s neck, I sensed an intense rage, the kind of rage that would compel her to kill people she loves in order to carry it out. Fred is perfectly capable of designing an appropriate penalty. Or overstepping it.”
“You sensed it, huh? What else can you sense?”
“Grief, joy, euphoria, distress. Last night I sensed Wesley and Fred’s joy when they engaged in sexual intercourse in one of the supply closets on the floor below”
“Fascinating. … Who was your shell?”
“Her name was Stacy Rowe, she was a member of an organisation known as the Lawndale High Fashion Club”
“Fashion Club? That’s the sort of thing Harmony would create.”
“That was not really where her passion lay,” said Illyria “she merely joined it to enhance her public figure, to avoid persecution. She felt highly vulnerable, open to attack. That is the same reason Knox tried to win my approval. She was Sandi Griffin’s Qwa’ha Xahn”
~-~
Daria and Tiffany met back in front of the house.
“See anything?” asked Daria.
“Nothing, either they’re out, holed in the basement, or have moved off.” said Tiffany.
Jane showed up with her favourite toy (covered in a big cloth) “Find anything?”
“Nope, but we need to check inside” said Daria.
“Okay” said Jane, she looked around to see if they were being watched, then she pulled the cloth off her flamethrower.
It had flames painted all over it’s fuel stores, the frame was painted gloss black, and it had an iridescent finish on the fuel stores changed from the fire colours to a purple/grey at different angles.
“Nice paint job.” Tiffany said, impressed.
“Little worrying though, you haven’t named it have you?” asked Daria.
“Nope” said Jane as she turned the generator on, Daria nodded and turned to the front door before Jane finished, “Haven’t thought of a name yet.”
Daria looked at her, as Jane vamped out and pulled the rip chord on the generator, she then lit the pilot light.
Daria pulled her own weapon and a flashlight, and Tiffany pulled her stake. Daria placed her hand on the lock, opening it with telekinesis. She then entered, flashlight held against the weapons forearm.
Daria went left, Tiffany went right, Jane stayed in the middle watching the stairs. Her weapon, though massively destructive, wasn’t much good at point blank because in that time it takes to catch fire, the target could incapacitate and kill her.
There wasn’t much furniture that could conceal a person standing, so Daria cleared the room fairly quickly.
~-~
Tiffany entered the dining room, she dropped to a low crouch, saw nothing, then lifted to a squat as she checked the dining room cabinets, all clear.
She moved onto the kitchen.
She checked all the cupboards that could conceivably hide a vampire.
~-~
Daria met Tiffany near the back door.
“Nothing” said Tiffany.
“Ditto” said Daria.
“Where next?” asked Tiffany.
“Basement” Daria replied.
Daria took a position to the left of the door, and Tiffany pulled it open.
Daria then skipped down the stairway getting a look at the basement in full real early. She checked under the stairs too.
She noted a washing machine, a tumble dryer, and several shelf units, a work shop, and a big cloth covered device in the centre.
Daria signalled Tiffany to advance, she then signalled Tiffany to go around one side of the device, while she went around the other way.
Daria lowered her weapon and turned back to the stairway.
They re-entered the rest of the house, then they went up stairs, Jane followed.
Jane stayed at the top of the stairs, while Daria and Tiffany cleared rooms.
They came up with nothing.
“Attic?” asked Tiffany.
“I guess” said Daria.
They pulled the counterweighted door down and released the ladder.
Daria handed the flashlight to Tiffany. Since this was an obvious ambush point, it would be better if the hand to hand expert went up first.
Tiffany advanced into the attic and Daria followed.
They approached the main cistern and went their opposite ways around it.
Again, nothing.
They returned to the first floor and closed the attic door.
“Well, that confirms it, we’re going to have to look for signs of an escape. The plus side is it’s night, relatively little foot traffic to disturb the tracks of our escaping horde of undead.” said Daria.
They headed back down stairs.
They decided to go out the back way.
Daria's foot kicked an invisible force.
Daria pushed at the invisible barrier with her hand.
Then she headed to the front door.
Same results.
“Okay, windows, check everything” said Daria.
It took a few minutes for Jane to go through the upstairs, Daria the ground floor, and Tiffany the basement.
They returned to the centre of the lounge.
“The chimney?” asked Jane.
“I don’t really feel like appearing on Americas Dumbest Criminals. Amy must have plans that go beyond annoying us.” said Daria.
“A trap?” Tiffany asked.
“Yeah, … we never did check that thing in the basement, did we?” mused Daria.
They headed downstairs to find out what it was.
Daria lifted the cloth to find large sacks of ammonium nitrate, sitting in a pool of something. Daria wiped her fingers in it and sniffed, it was diesel.
She and Tiffany lifted the cloth completely off and found an electronic box poking out from between two of the sacks.
There was a display counting down from 28m42s.
“Okay, well, I guess that should have been expected.” said Jane.
“I don’t think we should attempt to defuse this thing or remove any of these sacks. We need to take down the barrier” said Daria.
“Can you do that?” asked Tiffany.
“I tried earlier, but Amy’s way more powerful; I feel like I need to check my watch against the clock on teletext or something after that gravity spell. I’ll try calling out from the attic, the distance should hopefully prevent me tripping any RF sensitive components in the fuse, but I doubt Willow’s anywhere near here.” said Daria.
“Then try my mom, she has to be a powerful witch to ensoul me.” said Jane.
“She in now?” asked Daria.
“Last I was there.” said Jane.
They headed upstairs.
Daria asked Jane her mom’s number and Jane gave it to her, but Daria stopped immediately “What?”
“No signal” said Daria.
“Okay, then what do we do?” asked Jane.
“hmm, … Amy’s spell is using energy, it can only do that for so long, we need to exhaust it” Daria got up and headed back down stairs “I don’t think we’re doing it with force, find a compass.”
“Why?” asked Jane.
“I wanna check something.” Daria replied.
Daria Jane and Tiffany each picked a room and looked.
“FOUND ONE” called Jane, they met in the hallway, and Daria looked at it. The needle was turning slowly.
“She covered anything magnetic too.” said Daria, she then took the compass to a window and the needle started spinning really, really fast.
“How’s that useful?” asked Jane.
“Magnetic flux is less work to derive from mystical energy” said Daria “but the collapse of the spell might cause a big electromagnetic pulse that could trip the fuse even if it isn’t designed for RF sensitivity”
“So, what do we do then?” asked Jane.
“I need to check one more thing” said Daria, she then headed downstairs, they followed her down.
She entered the basement, “The hearth is standing on this big stone column. We rip the fire out, place the kitchen table with enough mass in the cavity underneath it to tamper the blast. That should give us a place to wait out the blast.” said Daria as she returned.
“We’re on it” said Tiffany.
Jane followed Tiffany as Daria went for the table.
She, Jane and Tiffany then went around getting every book, board, and immovable lump they could find.
“Now help me move the stove from the kitchen” said Daria.
They did.
They loaded everything into the underside of the table and taped it in place. Then Daria directed the strong girls to place the stove in front of the hearth, leaving just enough space for them to squeeze in behind the table.
“My Flamethrower!”
“There will be others.” Daria told her.
“Oh? And if it was one of your stories?” asked Jane.
“Okay, place it in the corner of the basement that has a clear view of the bomb, that way, no shrapnel. Put it right up against the walls” said Daria.
Jane ran down.
“Will that really protect it?” asked Tiffany.
“I dunno, it should do, but the paint will probably get roasted” said Daria.
Jane returned and said “5 minutes” before getting in with them. They had to squeeze together, since they could not allow the table to transfer any load onto them, and Daria decided to start using her magnetic skills to try to bring down the field early so they could clear off the instant it was down.
It was a long 5 minutes.
“What if it’s a dud?” asked Tiffany.
“We can’t assume that.” Daria reasoned.
“I can’t see my watch.” said Jane.
They waited.
“How do we know five minutes have elapsed?” asked Tiffany.
“I’m counting down from 300.” said Daria.
“Ah” acknowledged Tiffany.
They waited a little longer.
Suddenly they heard a bang. The table was thrown against the fireplace, they heard the stove collide with the chimney stack, and it fell backwards.
They looked up and saw the smoke cloud rising, and bits of the house in the air falling mostly downwind.
They got up and tried to step outside the property line. It worked “Okay, we need to be gone. Jane, hurry up with your flamethrower and pick an escape route, then return to base” said Daria.
~-~
Jane entered the Lane house with her Flamethrower on her back, covered once again in its concealing cloth.
“I don’t think I was seen.” said Jane.
“Good” said Daria.
Jane took the device off her back and examined it, there was no visible sign of damage aside from some dust.
“I guess if we’re going up against Amy, we need another witch on board.” said Daria.
“I’ll talk to mom then.” said Jane, headed to the basement.
“And I’ll call Willow.” said Daria, grabbing her cell phone again.
Amanda and Trent entered.
“JANE, SHE’S OVER HERE!” shouted Daria.
Jane returned “Hi mom.”
“Jane, what happened out there? I was looking at the stars in the back yard, and I saw this ring of mist moving through the sky like a nuclear bomb had gone off.”
“It wasn’t though, the speakers at my gig would have been blown out by the pulse” said Trent.
“You know what an EMP is?” asked Jane.
“I heard the phrase EMP hardened in a few electronics stores and asked Daria what it meant.” said Trent.
“Mist was a rarefaction zone from the blast caused by a shit load of ANFO detonating in the basement of a house we were trapped in. Oh, and by the way, Jane says you’re a witch?”
“Yes”
“Right, We might need your help with something. See, there’s this other, less pleasant witch called Amy Madison. She’s the one who set that spell that trapped us in that house” said Daria as she waited for her phone to ring.
“Who are you calling?” asked Amanda.
“Another witch, probably better to have two against her” the phone stopped ringing.
“Hi Joy.” said Willow.
“Willow, how far are you from Lawndale right now?”
“Several thousand miles, I’m in England right now”
“Okay, just I’ve encountered Amy Madison here, and she’s up to something. Last saw her at the scene of a biting carrying off Drusilla, who I didn’t quite kill, but managed to ding slightly.”
“I’ll be right there.” said Willow.
~-~
“Damn it” said Amy, upon hearing that no casualties had been found in the house. She turned off the TV and said “What is it with good guys? I mean, I could incinerate the surface of the planet and they’d still be there, ‘Hello, Hi mom, I’m on telly.’” she said, before chucking the remote into the sofa.
“They’re like the moat of goldfish surrounding the giant peach of the round table.” said Drusilla.
Amy turned to her and then turned back the way she was facing, and said “At least we got the majority of the Night shift. One that got away will be thrown in a padded cell when she says she was attacked by vampires and a witch, I guess we’re sorted for now.” she landed back on the couch and told everyone “Get some sleep, get some tail, get some blood if you can get away with it, just don’t get us found for the next 8 hours.” before falling asleep on the couch.
The other vamps dispersed to go about chosen activity.
~-~
“Raping the geek
And hustling the freak
Like a hunchback juice
On a sentimental noose
Operation filth
They love to love the wealth
Of an SS whore
Making scary sounds
Crawl on me
Sink into me
Die for me-”
“MISS MERRYWEATHER! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE SINGING? DON’T YOU CARE THAT THERE ARE CHILDREN ABOUT?” interrupted Angela.
Daria turned around and looked at her in bewilderment and, a few seconds later, asked “have you HEARD the shit kids listen to today?”
~-~
When Daria got to the library, she met Tiffany.
“Willow should be here this afternoon.” said Daria.
“Okay, it would help if we had a way to infiltrate the vampire nest.” Tiffany said.
“Yeah, I’d have Jane do it, but Drusilla knows her. I also think we could do with Illyria’s help on this, but her objectives are to take over the world. I am concerned that she could end up teaming up with Amy, so it looks like we wait for Willow and see if she can locate Amy.” said Daria.
“What about Amanda Lane?” asked Tiffany.
“I asked her, but she called no joy after the 5th map blew up in her face, so we’re not going to get anything done until Willow gets here.”
“Booby traps, gravity, possibly weather, since she’s running with vampires, what else does she have form for?” asked Tiffany.
“Transmutation of animals, mind fucking Willow, introducing Willow to Rack, the guy who got her hooked on the mystical equivalent of crack cocaine, transmutating Buffy Summers into a rat, Amy also got hooked on Racks magic.” said Daria.
“This Rack, maybe we could locate him?” asked Tiffany.
“Nope, he’s dead.”
“Okay, who else could Amy go to?” asked Tiffany.
“I’m not sure she would go to anyone like that again. As I said, mystical version of crack, makes you feel powerful, but you become a slave to it. If Amy was doing that kind of magic, I seriously doubt she would have the presence of mind to be able to lead a gang, or build a bomb and accompany it with a snare spell” said Daria.
“So she’s like that naturally?” asked Tiffany.
“Most likely.” said Daria.
“Most likely?” asked Tiffany.
“Well, … Amy’s never shown any inclination beyond her own needs and pleasures before, but that doesn’t mean she’s working for someone else necessarily.” said Daria.
“But something feels off to you?” asked Tiffany.
“Yeah” said Daria.
“But you don’t know what?”
“Pretty much” said Daria.
~-~
Amy was awoken by someone entering her alarm field. She looked up at the vamp leaning over her and pushed him off telekinetically.
Amy got a good look at him. He was in knee length denim shorts, a Marylyn Manson tee shirt, and had green spiky hair, some ear and nose rings, and trainers. A lot of dirt was present in his clothes.
“Who are you?” he asked.
Amy looked around and shouted “DRUSILLA?” before getting up.
She then turned to the vamp and said “I’m Amy Madison, the boss to you if you wish to remain here, and you are?”
The vamp unvamped his face, “Shaun Littleton”
“And you were just turned today?” asked Amy.
“Turned?” he asked.
“In, to, a, vam, pire.” clarified Amy.
“I’m a vampire? … Whoahhhhh” he said, sounding like your stereotypical stoner.
Amy sighed again and shouted “DRUSILLA! WHERE THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU?”
“Boss lady’s upset at something?” asked Drusilla.
“What’s this?” asked Amy pointing at the newest member of their army.
“Shaun Littleton, the stars and the voices told me he’s going to be a lot of fun to be around.” said Drusilla.
“Right, voices and stars, … You could at least have stayed with him and told him what was going on. I mean, fine, turn them, I want an army, just be sure to tell them what’s what when they wake will you? And what’s with the dirt? You always bury your ones. Why?” asked Amy.
“I need to, it makes the birth special.” said Drusilla.
“Whatever, just don’t leave new vamps to wake up unattended, okay Dru?”
“I just wish we could have done it by star light, it doesn’t feel right without the starlight” said Dru.
“The sun’s a star.” said Shaun.
“Yeah, if you like the burning feeling. Sorry, but the only vampire clichés that aren’t true are silver, garlic, and transmutation. … Except for Dracula, but he’s a walking cliché.”
“I see, … So, … you just need muscle, or can I, like, blow stuff up too?” asked Shaun.
Amy looked like she was about to cry.
~-~
Angel walked up to Illyria’s cage and asked “comfy?”
Illyria cocked her head and said “indeed”
“Not bored are you?” asked Angel.
“Have you reached a decision about my proposal that we join forces?”
“Illyria, I just can’t take any chances, you are a completely unknown quantity, you are a megalomaniac. How can you be trusted?”
“How can the Watcher’s Council trust you?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“You have entered the employment of their enemy; they do not trust you. You are also under the employment of my enemy, and I trust you. Perhaps you would return the favour”
“You still wish to reclaim the world as your own domain, and will, how did you put it? Serve no master but your ambition?”
“You assume that means doing so within a time scale you can handle. You fail to realise how old I am, and that I intend to do it in a manner that lasts and generates genuine loyalty, and will ensure I inherit the combined military assets of this world at their full strength. I can not do that simply by coercing anyone, not any more. I need to convince people that I deserve their loyalty, I will conquer through endearment, not intimidation.”
“That could take a while.” said Angel.
“Indeed, I estimate 50-200 years.”
“Right” Angel walked off.
Illyria resumed her original pose.
~-~
“You’re not going to believe she won’t do it violently, will you?” asked Spike.
“Not sure what to believe, but she might be reconsidering her policy towards the recruitment minions.” said Angel.
“Or, she’s trying to fool everyone into believing that.” said Spike.
“She has all the time in the world, then all the time of another if she sees the development of interstellar craft.” Said Angel.
“Fucks sake.” Spike said, leaving the security room.
~-~
“For fucks sake, can’t anyone make an effort to keep this place tidy?” asked Amy after tripping over another corpse.
“Sorry boss.” said one of the vampires.
They were just getting ready to resume operations. It was mainly up to the cops they had turned to start turning other cops and some of the more suitable criminals into vampires, but they had another problem, possibly, depending on how big a problem the Slayer thinks she has.
“Willow is coming.” said Drusilla, proving Amy’s paranoia to be justified.
“Right, that case, we need a serious distraction in order to keep her away. We need to take that slayer out of the picture, but in such a way that it prevents the others from working on us.” said Amy.
“How do we distract her then?” asked another vampire.
Amy thought about it.
~-~
Willow and Kennedy exited the airport, and met Daria at the entrance.
“I’m starting to remember my way around this town, the number of times I’ve been here.” said Willow.
“Yeah, sorry to drag you here again, but-” started Daria before Willow cut her off.
“Yeah, I know, Amy Madison, I really, really hate her.”
“Seconded.” said Kennedy.
“So, how’s it going with Tiffany?” asked Willow.
“Too early to comment really, this is my second day as her watcher, she seems to be up to scratch though.” said Daria.
“Is that a gun under your coat?” asked Kennedy.
“Sawn off shotgun, FSHE, use it to decapitate vampires.” said Daria.
“With, fffffishing wire?” asked Kennedy.
“Fin Stabilised High Explosive” said Willow.
“Ohhh, … we never use guns” said Kennedy.
“Yeah, well, until I catch up with Tiffany, I’m not much help to her with a stake.” said Daria.
~-~
Tiffany was headed to the Lanes when she noticed a group of vampires chasing Andrea along the road intersecting the street she was on, heading left.
“Game on.” she said, pulling her stake, she started her pursuit.
As they approached the park, the group of vampires (10-15 approximately) fanned to Andrea’s left, and they all turned right into the park through a 2m gate in the hedge line.
She followed them and immediately collided with two that were waiting at her two o’clock. She staked the first one, and the second went around to her 4 O’clock. She got the second one and was about to continue her pursuit when she noticed something wrong.
The two vampires she just staked.
They weren’t turning to dust.
She went back to the bodies that were face down.
She turned them face up.
They weren’t vampires.
~-~
Andrea kept running, the vampires fanned in one direction or another, like they were herding her, but she had absolutely no idea what to do about it.
She then saw Tiffany up ahead running towards her carrying a wooden baton or stake or something.
“TIFFANY, OTHER WAY, GO!” she shouted.
Tiffany ignored her and grabbed Andrea. Andrea was spun as Tiffany started engaging the things that had been chasing her.
Some of the monsters kept grabbing her, but Tiffany got them before any of them could do anything more than grab her.
Eventually the remaining monsters simply scattered.
Tiffany came over to Andrea and asked “you good there?”
Andrea looked up at her and said “Err, … what just happened?”
“You were being chased by a gang who, … were on, … PCP or something” said Tiffany.
“ … PCP?” asked Andrea.
“Yeah, fucks up the face, … ” Tiffany sounded about as convincing as the case for a ban on gay marriage.
“Whatever.” said Andrea.
Tiffany and Andrea headed out of the park, but they then heard sirens.
“Listen, I got to, … ” Tiffany trailed off pointing somewhere off to their left.
“Yeah, okay, I’m good now” said Andrea.
Tiffany then ran off.
Andrea continued on back the way she had come, hoping that Tiffany hadn’t left her without being certain that those creatures were long gone.
Andrea encountered some uniformed police officers as she approached the gate she had entered the park through. Three were maintaining a perimeter while another two were putting up crime scene tape.
She looked on and saw two bodies with ~3cm wide holes in their chests.
She looked back into the park for Tiffany, then at the bodies again.
“Ma’am?” one of the officers pointed his flashlight at her.
“Yes?” she responded a little uncertainly.
“Did you see anyone running away from this location earlier?”
“No, I don’t, … no” she responded.
~-~
Tiffany couldn’t maintain her run for long, it had become an extraordinary effort of will just to do her fucking job after she had, … … … …
She just kept walking, she eventually reached the parks perimeter.
She then decided to go home, she wasn’t sure she wanted to go to her watcher now.
~-~
Daria, Willow and Kennedy entered the house and encountered Trent and his band.
“Hey Joy” said Trent.
“Trent” Daria greeted back, then she asked “Jane about?”
“Yeah, out back” he said.
“Thanks” said Daria as she lead Willow and Kennedy out back with her.
~-~
Jane and Amanda were discussing something out back when they got there.
“Daria, Willow, and, … ” greeted Jane.
“Kennedy” said Kennedy.
“Where’s Tiffany?” asked Daria.
“Dunno, she’s running late.” said Jane.
“Right, Willow, Jane’s mom, Amanda Lane.” introduced Daria.
“Hello” said Amanda.
“Pleased to meet you” said Willow.
“Okay, Willow, you have had the most experience in dealing with Amy Madison, so once Tiffany is here, we’ll go over what we have observed lately and then see if we can formulate a plan.” said Daria.
~-~
Tiffany entered the house and headed up stairs.
Her parents didn’t seem to have noticed her return, that was good, because she knew full well she was sporting a spaced out look.
She placed her coat on her chair and sat on her bed, and stared at the big round mirror on her wall.
She didn’t think to do anything else.
The phone rang.
Then someone picked up.
A few seconds later, her dad shouted “TIFFANY, IT’S FOR YOU”
Tiffany continued to sit there staring at herself for a few minutes.
“TIFFANY?”
Eventually Tiffany stood up and walked to her bedside table and picked up the phone “I got it dad.”
She heard the click of the other phone being returned to it’s cradle, and Jane asked “You done colour co-ordinating your stake with your outfit yet?”
“I, … I don’t feel like coming tonight” Tiffany finally said.
“Oh, alright, no big, we got another slayer here if you want to take the night off.” said Jane.
“Yeah, bye.” Tiffany said, she then put the phone back down.
~-~
“Tiff’s out, say’s she’s feeling ill.” said Jane as she returned to the living room.
“Okay, I would have preferred to do this with two slayers, but I guess we can cope without her. Now, Amy was directing vampires to go after cops, is she planning on simply killing them all, turning them all, and is Lawndale were she intends to fulfil her ambitions, or is this a diversion for a bigger operation elsewhere?” asked Daria.
“Amy had some moments, but she’s not all that. Odds are, this is where she intends to carry out her master plan.” said Willow.
“12 tons of ANFO to booby trap a house doesn’t sound very covert.” said Jane.
“On the other hand, it created such a big crime scene that it would have taken weeks for the police to piece together enough of us to identify us. And even then the council might not have put it down to vampires or any mystical forces, it would have been considered outside their domain. Besides, Osama already congratulated the people that carried out the bombing.” said Daria.
“I wonder what would happen if a major bombing occurs and both Al Qaeda AND Aryan Nations started fighting for credit?” asked Jane.
“They’d pick on each other and leave everyone else alone?” asked Willow.
“Yes, because that worked so well in Northern Ireland.” commented Daria before continuing “Any other leads, anyone?”
No one added anything.
“Okay then, we need to physically locate Amy and her gang, unfortunately, she’s seen everyone of us except Jane, who Drusilla has seen, we don’t have anyone we can readily identify as being in her gang.” said Daria.
“We have the cops.” said Kennedy.
“There’s that, Willow, can you hack the police computers and find out how many cops have failed to report in since last night?” asked Daria.
~-~
Quinn knocked on the door of the Deckler house and waited.
She and Sandi were seriously concerned about Tiffany.
Tiffany’s dad answered.
“Is Tiffany in?” asked Quinn.
“She’s in her room, is she alright? Just she seemed kind of, … different tonight.” he said.
“I dunno, I’ll ask her.” said Quinn.
Quinn and Sandi headed upstairs to Tiffany’s room and knocked.
“Yeah?” asked Tiffany from behind the door.
Quinn and Sandi poked their heads through the doorway, seeing Tiffany lying on her bed in camouflage trousers and a black tee shirt “Tiffany, can we talk?”
“Yeah, sure, come on in.” she said.
~-~
“I hear you’re trying to develop some magical ability.” said Kennedy as she and Daria headed down the street. Kennedy was feeling for the presence of a powerful witch, which witches could apparently do. But that had the slight drawback of working both ways, Amy would know one of them was there. So each witch was accompanied by someone who would not trip Amy’s senses to maintain surveillance while the witch heads away to phone everyone else to converge.
“Yeah, I’ve managed to achieve some telekinesis, great for opening doors, but not really that far above your standard muggle.” said Daria.
Kennedy giggled at this and said “unfortunately that’s a good thing in this instance”
“Yeah, I know. What’s your take on the situation with Angel?” asked Dar