TANANDARIA SEASON SIX
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It's Lawndale as we see Beth Ann (driving obviously) and getting tips from Tananda, in the passenger seat, and Taryn and Scarlett, located in the back seat. The car moves in fits and starts, weaving out of its lane occasionally.
Beth Ann is very tense as she drives. Tananda is nervous, but she tries to calm her friend.
TANANDA: All right, Beth, don't start your turn till your front wheels are past the corner. That's it. Now, accelerate as you start to straighten. Good.
Coming out of the curve, Beth sees something to her left, on the opposite side of the street. She swerves the car violently in that direction.
TANANDA: Watch out for the young gentleman. Watch out, Beth!
Tom Sloane, who is walking on the sidewalk, looks up to see the car bearing down on him.
TOM: [eyes huge, tries to flee in panic] Eep! Another anti-Tom fan is out to get me!
There is a loud thump as the car hits something. Beth slams on the brakes, and the tires squeal. Scarlett looks horrified.
BETH: [looks around excitedly] Did I kill him? Did I kill him?
TARYN: Yes.
TANANDA: [turns to look behind car, sighs in relief] She's just kidding. Look! He’s okay—sort of.
BETH: [mumbles under breath] Damn it. And my aim was perfect.
Tom is a short distance behind the car, limping. He looks back at the car with an angry expression.
SCARLETT: [ticked off] How could you hit him?! Tom is such a nice guy.
BETH: [ticked off] No he isn't.
Beth sees Tom behind her. She puts the car into reverse and floors the gas, watching over her shoulder.
TANANDA: [screams] Beth!
BETH: Don’t worry, Tananda. I’ll see if he’s all right. [under her breath] Hopefully he's dead.
TOM: Not again!
Tom’s image is blocked out by the car slamming into (and running over) him.
The car bounces up and down as it drives over Tom with all four tires.
SCARLETT: [shrieks] You hit that nice guy again!
BETH: [excited but calm] No, I’m sure that was a manhole cover or something. [throws car into drive again, mumbles under breath] God, that was close. Almost missed him. [under her breath] Damn it.
TOM: [on ground, just in front of car, last gasp] It actually seems like she wants to kill me!
The car’s tires squeal as it hurls forward again. We cut away.
The car lurches forward, bouncing again as it runs over Tom once more.
SCARLETT: [almost hysterical] Beth, you just hit him a third time! Didn't you see him? Why did you do that?
BETH: [checks rearview mirror] Um, I was going back to check on him, but somebody [glares at Scarlett] made me lose my concentration. Then I, uh, sort of forgot where he was. Sorry, Scarlett.
SCARLETT: You ran over that guy because you're an anti-Tom fan? Don’t you think that’s a problem?
TARYN: Maybe for somebody who's hell-bent on killing Tom.
TANANDA: [panicked] Oh, my God, you’re right! We could liable for damages if anyone sees that we ran over him!
BETH: Hmmm. Good point. [accelerates, leaving the area quickly]
TARYN: [calms down, takes a last glance back, sighs] Well, he was sort of annoying. No harm done.
BETH: [nods agreeably] Would you mind telling Jane that I killed him? She's also an anti-Tom fan.
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TANANDA: Hurry or we'll be too late to stop the ceremony!
TARYN: Look it's your fault we'll be late for the ceremony.
TANANDA: But it was such a good dream. Tom got run over several times. How could I interrupt a dream like that?
TARYN: Well I was a bit busy myself.
TANANDA: Doing what?
TARYN: Helping Mahna Mahna 'Process' the new applicants.
TANANDA: You know I still can't believe that’s medically possible.
TARYN: What can I say? Roger Moore inspired me.
TANANDA: Hey stop the car there it is!
TARYN: See I knew Angelinhel's Sporkorium was around here somewhere.
(There is the sound of two car doors slamming open and then shut as they dash for the store)
ANGELINHEL: Welcome to Angelinhel's Sporkorium what can I do for the pair of you?
TANANDA: We need two sporks to go!
ANGELINHEL: Flaming?
TARYN: Of Course.
ANGELINHEL: That will be twenty dollars.
TANANDA: Do you accept pink pills?
ANGELINHEL: Sorry cash only.
TARYN: Fine here. (throws note)
(Once again the sound of car doors slamming open and then shut this time with the addition of squealing tires)
TANANDA: Hurry! We can still make the ceremony!
TARYN: Hey I'm flooring it!
(Thump)
TANANDA: What was that?
TARYN: I just ran over Scrappy Doo.
TANANDA: Well that’s one bit of good news.
TARYN: Wait there's the church.
(TANANDA and TARYN are running for the church door sporks flaming when suddenly a bell starts ringing)
TARYN and TANANDA: Noooooo!
(Seconds earlier)
PREACHER: Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
TOM: I do.
PREACHER: And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
SCARLETT: I do
PREACHER: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride!
BETH: (sigh) I just love a happy ending.
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Tell me why I didn't get that blender as a wedding present. It would've been the least you could do! Back off, Tom!
Tom: But that girl handcuffed us together, honey. You need to calm down.
::glares evilly at Tom:: Over your dead body. ::smiles:: Maybe later, okay, sweetie?
Taryn: Whose side are you on, anyway?
Beth: Yeah. Your conflicting Tom feelings are giving you extra personalities.
Elizabeth: Join me, dammit! Tom's a good guy!
::Taryn locks Elizabeth in the Degrassi room and cements the door::
Taryn: Now there is not other side. You hate Tom.
Beth: Passive aggressive mind control...
::looks between her friends and Tom, torn::

Darth Vader type voice* Join me Scarlett, come to our side. The *right* side. Join us.
Scarlett: Can't I just be a fence sitter and be indifferent?
Taryn: No!
Scarlett: Why?
Taryn: Because Scarlett... I'm your mother.
*GASP!*
Mahna: But you're younger than her. Wow, there's some white-trashiness right there.
Taryn: Don't judge, Mahna.
Mahna: I'm just saying!
Scarlett: I don't know. I'm just so torn!
Tiffany: Like that giirrrrlll... in that sonnng....
Mahna: (singing) I'm all out of faith... this is how I feel... I'm cold and I am shamed... lying na....Ow! Beth!
Beth: Well somebody had to stop her.
Tiffany: Can't I get more than a lousy caammmeo?
All: No.
Tiffany: Ew.

Scarlett: WHAT?
Taryn: Okay, so I can't get away with that, but you still should join us. (Scarlett still looks unsure) Unless of course, you'd like to watch a nice Degrassi Mara...
Scarlett: NOO! Oh Lord! not that! *anything* but that!
Taryn: *getting out keys to the torture cell* You have a decision to make Scarlett.

Taryn: Choose!
Mahna: It's a child! Not a choice!
Tom: I'm not a child!
Beth: That's your opinion.
Mahna: (to Tom, whispering) Sorry. Didn't mean it like that.
Scarlett: Wait! I'm receiving a mental telegram through telepathy from Tananda!
Mahna: Really
Taryn: What does it say?
Scarlett: (concentrating really hard) It’s.... I can't make it out that well... choose.... Tom....
Taryn: Aha! You hear that? She's saying 'Don't choose Tom.' You heard the girl!
Mahna: I hardly think Tananda would--
Taryn: Mahna, do you want to join Elizabeth? There's always room for more.
Mahna: Eep! (shakes head no)

Beth: Join us Scarlett. The right side, the side off the Tom haters. You know you want to....
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Tananda (looking at Taryn's Picture): Awww! You’re soo cute!
Taryn (looking at Tananda's picture): No way! You are just too cute Tananda
Tananda: AH! NOO!
Taryn: CUUUUUUUTE! CUTIE PIE!
Tananda: SHUT UP! ~slap~
Taryn: Sure Cutie. *slap*
Tananda: AHHH! ~tackles Taryn~
Taryn: Hee hee. *sics school counselors on Tananda* Beat that!
Tananda: OH DEAR LORD! NOT COUNSELORS! AHHHH! ~runs to room with Shrinks/Quacks following her~
Counselor: Do you need to *talk* Tananda?
Another one: do you feel sad?
Tananda: No! I don't feel sad! All I fell is an ANGER towards you pathetic fools! What are you writing in that notepad?
Counselor: "Nothing...nothing at all!"
Tananda: LIAR!
Shrink: Prohappia for you Tananda.
Tananda: Noo! Take this straight jacket off me! I'm sane! Sane I tell you!
Taryn (laughing like crazy) Don't worry Tananda, this way, you'll be *happy*
Tananda: Sure, I might drink CR, have green hair, obsess and stalk a canceled cartoon character but I'm still SANE!
Shallow 15: *sings* Ya need a bit of Oooo shock treatment. Yer jumpin'' like a real live wire! Need a bit of Ooo shock treatment...
Taryn: Go ahead guys! *The counselors throw Tananda in a padded cell*
Tananda: PADDED CELL? *dreamily* Daria...
Shrink: Oh, don't worry Tananda, once the medicine kicks in, you'll never be reminded of that awful show again.
Tananda: WHAT!? I'll NEVER forget Daria!
Shrink: Now Tananda, just relax, and think. Soon, you'll be normal.
Tananda: *gasp*
Scarlett: Don't even JOKE like that! (guards Tananda)
Tananda (feels comforted by Scarlett’s guard): Moo.
Taryn: (shoves a pill down Tananda's throat) ha.
Tananda: NOOOOOOO! (fade out to Tananda screaming in her bed) GET AWAY! I...oh. Ok. Thank god. That's it! No more mixing Blue and purple pills!
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*Taryn sees Ranger with his now normal hair*
Taryn: GASP!
Rt: Oh crap...
Taryn: Now, now, *grabs tape* Don't *worry!* I can do this fiiine!
RT: No way! I saw the Job you did on Eliza*he's stifled by the mental tape*mghhfssfs!
Taryn: Now just relax. This shouldn't hurt a bit. Well, it might, I didn't read the instructions on the box. *RT's eyes go wide* Let's see noww.... five cups or c.c.s of bleach? hmm.... whatever.
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A crowd of onlookers surround a building, we see Taryn standing with Kevo beside it.
Taryn: Now Kevo, just visualize your goal. You can do it!
Kevo: ...
Taryn: Well, sorry! Don’t bite my head off!
Kevo: ...
Taryn: Fine!
Kevo: ...
Taryn: No, You do! *She runs off. We see Kevo jump out of his chair and walk away*
ONE HOUR LATER
Kevo Is about to jump into the air. He jumps, and is at the fifteenth floor when we see someone reach out and grab him.
Kevo: Keeevoooo!
Taryn: Hush up!
Kevo: Kevo! Kevo!
Taryn: I *know* you were close to making it. But you know what, you shouldn't have said that about my mom.
Kevo: ...
Taryn: NO, I’m sorry.
Kevo: ...
Taryn: No! *I* was wrong!
Kevo: ...
Taryn: Fine! Then you can just forget me being your coach! Hmph!
Kevo: ...?
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Yes! *clears throat (yeah, she has to be dramatic about EVERYTHING)*
Announcer: He was born to a normal family....
(clip of Kevo as a young smiley playing while his parents look on)
Announcer: he had his awkward years...
(clip of nerdy Kevo with glasses and oily face)
Announcer: But then. Something went horribly wrong!
(Black screen, we here Kevo scream)
Kevo: Ke... KEVOOOOO!
Announcer: coming to theaters this fall....
(black screen with white writing reads "Kevo: The other side of the net" announcer reads it)
GO SEE IT! NOOOOW!
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Daria reclines on her bed when she hears the door open and no obnoxious chatter following it. She comes out of her room only to see Jane disappear into Quinn's room.
Hmm. Daria wonders, walking to the door. I wonder what that's about. They couldn't be...no. Impossible. She stares at the door. Ah, Hell. Just open it. She quickly opens the door and sees an aghast Jane and Quinn sitting on the bed, devil music playing and the TV on.
"This is the show that never ends. Yes it goes on and on, my friends..."
"It's not what you think!" Jane shouts as Quinn leaps for the remote.
Daria promptly faints, a practice that has become common for her since Tanandaria came on the air.